AutoDonk5000
High Hand
1984: booted
1988: Training sequence initialized by Gramma with War. Grams will serve as primary programmer
1990: 7 card no peak, Yahtzee
1991: 5 card draw. Introduced to interlocking plastic chips.
1994: 5 card stud, 7 card stud
1995: VHS of Maverick downloaded. 5 card draw is the only poker worth playing.
1996: Webelos Summer Camp, much candy acquired
1997: Personal Computer acquired. RTS games are everything now. Poker, and all board game subroutines paused indefinitely.
2004: Poker boom. Younger brother starts playing NLHE tournaments with friends. I abstain. 5 card draw poker with plastic interlocking chips is the only "true poker". This flop nonsense is BS.
2009: Seduced by WPT coverage and Pokerstars commercials, first online play begins. $300 lost in the first month.
2009: After $300 loss at PS microstakes, 2+2 forums discovered. Reprogramming NLHE instructions commences. Instructions include 20-30 table preflop poker. 0 post flop skills acquired.
2010: After grinding PS microstakes for 1 year, $300 is recovered without acquisition of post flop skills.
2011: Black Friday'd
2012-17: Transition to live poker attempted at Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun. Post flop skills deficit not detected. Significant deleterious gambling subroutines developed. Self awareness 0. Attempts to learn through various books and online resources produce a potentially break even or losing NLHE player. No data on win rate!
2017: An $800 Christmas bonus and a trip to the Borgata with a new programmer and human mentor "Sean" results in various new subroutines. Data collection begins. Ed Miller's The Course downloaded, Upswing NLHE programming initiated. Thinking Poker Podcast audio stream initialized. Study routines and hand reviews with human mentor. "Sean".
2019: Weekend warrior status obtained, $10000 in winnings over 500 hours recorded at live 1/2.
2020: Human wife develops Autodonk5000 version fork in human uterus. Poker bank roll purchases a week in Disney World and prepares for version fork necessities. Version fork deployed. Autodonk5000 develops programming routines. All poker subroutines paused.
2024: Monthly casino trips resume. Home game started. Invite tracker software leads to pokerchipforum.com . PCF leads to attempted China clay purchase. ABS slugs purchased in error. 100s of PCF threads read. Autodonk5000 likes poker chips. Autodonk considers custom ceramics. Autodonk considers a live set. Autodonk considers table toppers. Human wife inhibitory sequence initiated....
2024: Autodonk5000 version fork "Crusherbot2020" training sequence initiated with Go Fish, War, and 7 card no-peek.
1988: Training sequence initialized by Gramma with War. Grams will serve as primary programmer
1990: 7 card no peak, Yahtzee
1991: 5 card draw. Introduced to interlocking plastic chips.
1994: 5 card stud, 7 card stud
1995: VHS of Maverick downloaded. 5 card draw is the only poker worth playing.
1996: Webelos Summer Camp, much candy acquired
1997: Personal Computer acquired. RTS games are everything now. Poker, and all board game subroutines paused indefinitely.
2004: Poker boom. Younger brother starts playing NLHE tournaments with friends. I abstain. 5 card draw poker with plastic interlocking chips is the only "true poker". This flop nonsense is BS.
2009: Seduced by WPT coverage and Pokerstars commercials, first online play begins. $300 lost in the first month.
2009: After $300 loss at PS microstakes, 2+2 forums discovered. Reprogramming NLHE instructions commences. Instructions include 20-30 table preflop poker. 0 post flop skills acquired.
2010: After grinding PS microstakes for 1 year, $300 is recovered without acquisition of post flop skills.
2011: Black Friday'd
2012-17: Transition to live poker attempted at Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun. Post flop skills deficit not detected. Significant deleterious gambling subroutines developed. Self awareness 0. Attempts to learn through various books and online resources produce a potentially break even or losing NLHE player. No data on win rate!
2017: An $800 Christmas bonus and a trip to the Borgata with a new programmer and human mentor "Sean" results in various new subroutines. Data collection begins. Ed Miller's The Course downloaded, Upswing NLHE programming initiated. Thinking Poker Podcast audio stream initialized. Study routines and hand reviews with human mentor. "Sean".
2019: Weekend warrior status obtained, $10000 in winnings over 500 hours recorded at live 1/2.
2020: Human wife develops Autodonk5000 version fork in human uterus. Poker bank roll purchases a week in Disney World and prepares for version fork necessities. Version fork deployed. Autodonk5000 develops programming routines. All poker subroutines paused.
2024: Monthly casino trips resume. Home game started. Invite tracker software leads to pokerchipforum.com . PCF leads to attempted China clay purchase. ABS slugs purchased in error. 100s of PCF threads read. Autodonk5000 likes poker chips. Autodonk considers custom ceramics. Autodonk considers a live set. Autodonk considers table toppers. Human wife inhibitory sequence initiated....
2024: Autodonk5000 version fork "Crusherbot2020" training sequence initiated with Go Fish, War, and 7 card no-peek.
