Bad Run of Cards: Summon and Appease the Dark Lord? (1 Viewer)

jbutler

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We've all been there - running bad or breakeven for long stretches. Usually I just stick it out, play my game and wait for variance to swing back around. I mean, it's math, right? Sometimes you just have to be patient.

But I have been trying something a little different lately and thought maybe some folks around here might have some thoughts. What about summoning the power of the dark lord? It might sound weird, but I gave it a shot and while my sample size is small, I'm running much better so far.

I'm wondering how I can better appease him once he's been summoned, though. The summoning part is pretty straightforward. I'll flop a draw or something and get the money in, so I call out for his power. It works great for that hand and I almost invariably hit my draw, but the tough part seems to be the appeasing so that the rungood continues for the rest of the session.

A few tips I've found:

- Betting in single digit form ($111, $222, etc.). I think it's a myth that he prefers 666. I think the key is the repetition regardless of the actual number.
- Buying in for single digit amounts. Same theory as above, but you have to think ahead. Maybe this is the key to keeping it going session to session?
- Holding your fingers in the form of a circle under the table while the board runs out. Only tried this a few times, but it seems to work. Again, sample size is obviously a problem, but I'll report back after more sessions.
- Being honest when others ask why you're so at ease getting your money in behind. The dark lord loves word of mouth and once they see that you're hitting, they'll start asking.

Interested to hear if anyone else has any other techniques. I've found that I can tell I'm onto something if I feel his warmth and presence, so when that comes over me, I try to focus on whatever I was doing and see if I feel his power expanding.

Reading back, it sounds a bit silly, but really, what's the harm in giving it a shot, right?
 
Also, and this can get awkward with certain room managers, but it helps a lot if you carry the Staff of Magius when you play.

Do not scream "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL" when you hit a draw - that's a rookie mistake and will inevitably draw attention to you.
 
Also one note...you don't need to mention summoning AND appeasing the dark lord. Summoning the dark lord sort of includes appeasing him, unless you like an eternity of missed flops and suckouts.
 
Are you familiar with Faust? Just sayin' . . .

yeah. one of randy newman's weaker albums imo.

By the dark lord you're referring to belichick right?

yes, beelzechick. one of his more recent incarnations as i understand it.

Also one note...you don't need to mention summoning AND appeasing the dark lord. Summoning the dark lord sort of includes appeasing him, unless you like an eternity of missed flops and suckouts.

i guess that's where i go wrong. somewhere around the 20th hour of the session, it seems there's nothing i can do to keep him appeased. no matter how many times i show my faith by jamming with only backdoor draws, i brick out. i'll crack the code one of these days, though.
 
i guess that's where i go wrong. somewhere around the 20th hour of the session, it seems there's nothing i can do to keep him appeased. no matter how many times i show my faith by jamming with only backdoor draws, i brick out. i'll crack the code one of these days, though.

Well shit waddaya expect, that son of a bitch needs to sleep too!
 
i guess that's where i go wrong. somewhere around the 20th hour of the session, it seems there's nothing i can do to keep him appeased. no matter how many times i show my faith by jamming with only backdoor draws, i brick out. i'll crack the code one of these days, though.

Dude, haven't you ever seen any Harry Potter movie? By that time he's already been vanquished by a sniveling, mewling 12-year-old using (only and exclusively) whatever rudimentary magic trick he learned at Hogwarts this week. "Dark Lord," my ass.

What you really need is to channel the spirit of Jerry Yang. You'll need a family picture, a rosary, and your bets MUST progress in numerical order (one MILL-yun; two MILL-yun; THREE MILL-yun!)
 
Have you tried blood offerings?

Keep a satchel of hamsters and a penknife with you under the table. The trick is ensuring they don't squeak and arouse suspicion when you off them. I'll pm you a link to where you can pick up some tiny hankies and miniature bottles of chloroform.

The difficulty of sacrifice is that they escalate: they start small but The Dark One is greedy and always wants more, somewhat ironic for 'The Lord of the Flies' (generally very small creatures - maybe it's a Napoleon complex thang?).

You can probably take it up to kittens and puppies - maybe a small kid (goat, not child: no-one wants that table-monster image, right?). Beyond that it gets tricky to the point of unsustainable. If you crack it, though, please share tips.

Be sure to wipe afterwards. You may win pots but you won't win friends with your bloody fist-pump celebrations. Not any keepers at any rate.
 
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It works Jack. The hard part is constantly cleaning up the waste the pigs leave in your basement. A steady diet of hobo's and hooker's souls will keep the Dark Lord satisfied but there isn't enough pepto-bismol in the world to settle the stomachs of the clean-up crew.
 
I'm a gambler but I'm not completely insane just yet. Why would I go to the Claremont Lounge after reading all this? First, I'll be required to drink a gallon of whiskey by bergs. After the first round of vomiting subsides, then a pool of rodent blood will collect under my seat? I like to play barefoot, it's good luck but that's only if you rub them in chicken blood and you can't keep those SOBs quiet after the heads come off Toby. I will need some bread from PAZ to settle the tummy but I'm not taking any chances. Jack, your nuts. I'm bringing this.

 
I like to play barefoot, it's good luck but that's only if you rub them in chicken blood...

just the type of tip i was looking for with this thread. too bad the only room that would accept this - the Taj - is long closed. maybe they went broke because of too many people with chicken blood-covered feet hitting the BBJ?
 
I just realized you guys were kidding.
Now what the hell am I going to do with all these god damned kittens!

i'll pm you my address. we already have 3 living in the yard, what's another 4 dozen?
 
BTW, the dark lord isn't dark at all. He's actually light-skinned, short and skinny.
I met him at a wine-tasting last spring. We chatted. Really kind of a nice guy. Quite misunderstood.
He doesn't understand the whole blood thing.
 

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