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New Guy Etiquette in Home Games (1 Viewer)

Taghkanic

Taghkanic

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There are a lot of specific threads addressing etiquette questions in home games, but I couldn’t find a general one regarding how one behaves as a new player in a long-standing home game…

Maybe this will be it? Or maybe not. Anyway, I noticed something at a friend’s game this week that got me thinking about the topic.

Will post that in the next message, but if people have general HGE thoughts/unwritten rules, fire away.
 
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So I was at a home game that goes off 2-3 times per month. There is a cast of about a dozen regs. Very occasionally someone brings a guest or the host tries someone new out, but most of us have played together for years.

A reg invited a guest this week, someone he’d met in another game who he said was a solid player and a great guy. Their wives are also friends.

The “great guy” shows up 90 minutes late. It’s a cash game, so that’s allowed, but a heads-up might have been good. There is a brief welcome and intros, since the game is well underway. The new guy buys in…

Then promptly pulls out his phone, puts it on the rail, and starts playing in a PPPoker game. Keeps his head down 95% of the time, following his online game. Has to be reminded when it’s his turn to cut cards and shuffle. Never collects cards for anyone else, or pushes a pot right in front of him. Almost zero conversation unless someone asks him something specific.

Already, I’m thinking “This guy is breaking all kinds of unspoken etiquette rules…”
 
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I blame the host partly for the phone thing. There is a long-standing rule that you don’t play online during this game. A couple guys used to try to do that, and the host finally banned it since it was really slowing things down.

Neither the host nor the reg who invited him ever said to the new guy, “Oh, sorry, I should have mentioned our rule…” I wanted to say something, but didn’t think it was my place.

To add insult to injury, despite barely looking up all night the new guy ran like a god, and was up +3 buyins in a couple hours.

And then left after being there less than three hours. A bad look in any game, but especially one where you’re brand new, imho.
 
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So some general rules of etiquette from the above for the new guy in a home game:
 
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1) Arrive before the start of the game so you can get acquainted with the host, other players, the house and its rules.

2) If you are running late, always text to alert the host and your sponsor.

3) Be friendly. Make conversation. No need to go overboard, but at least engage with the group.

4) Be conscientious, especially in a self-dealt game, about acting on time, shuffling/cutting, pushing chips or cards as needed, etc. Don’t completely tune out what’s going on around you.

5) Don’t hit-and-run when you’re way up, especially in a brand new game.
 
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No playing on line poker at the animal house. If the animal house is not enough action for you go somewhere else or stay home a play on line. A few other rules to follow:

1. Take a dump at your own house before you come over. Emergencies are one thing, but there should never be a waiting line.
2. Take a shower at your own house before you come over. Don’t come over smelling like ass.
3. Throw your trash away ……. in one of the 3 fu!king trash cans I have around the room.
4. Put your cigarette butts in a cup and throw them away at the end of the night. Do not leave them in my yard so the dog can eat them.
5. Be nice to my chips…… or be gone.
6. Be nice to my set up ….. or be gone.
7. Be nice to the other players ….. or be gone.
8. Be nice to the dealer …… hmmmmm….. well, there is some leeway here.

I am sure I will think of more….. flipping squirrels!
 
Taghkanic said:
6) For hosts, if you have specific house rules, make sure you let the new guy know up front.
Click to expand...
I think this is a big one. When you have a tight geoup of players it can be awkward calling out the new guy for breaking a rule.

I've found the easiest way around this is to be blunt and maybe try to soften it a bit but get the message out.

"Hey, just so you know we have a no online games rule, we've found it keep games playing"

I think one of the hardest things to call out a new player for is table talk. People dont always understand how any reaction (sigh, look, etc) can effect play, so when you call them on it they can definitely think you're over reacting.

Sounds like it's likely better if this guy doesnt return to the game.
 
I’ve been the new guy a few times in the last six months (and a first timer within the last week). Two things I learned from my brother that I try to apply — try your best to engage in the conversation, and be a generous tipper (whether it’s on the table, to the host for food, or something else).
from your description, perhaps this fella had some personal things pop up before arriving at the game and wanted to avoid first timer convo, but if that’s the same behavior second round, yea I might reconsider the invite
 
As a FNG, I'm always friendly and make sure to introduce myself to everyone. And Im not letting them push me around but aggression/trash talk wise I fit the least common denominator: if every person is mouthing off, hell yes, Im a gladiator (ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Is this not what you are HERE FOR?) but if its half and half I lean towards the quieter and reserved.

Also, never ever complain about start/end time, stakes, or god forbid the house. And tip more than you think is necessary if you had fun, you ape.
 
Another thing I would do as a new player (and still generally do as a reg, depending on the setup) is to bring something people can share. Doesn't have to be fancy. A big bag of chips, some candies, a six pack, whatever. It’s just a nice gesture to the group, and shows you understand the grind of hosting.
 
My biggest pet peeves:

1. Alcohol management (or lack thereof)
2. needing constant reminding when to act (usually related to number one)

Had a new guy over a couple games ago. Had warning signals written all over him right when I answered the door. Pre intoxicated (and knew how to keep it up), slow to act, annoying, damn near broke my 10 year-old son’s $80 rubrik’s cube (he competes). Left by 10.30 pm (first good choice of the night).
 
I don't often go to other people's home games as I'd much rather host.

But when I do, I bring the host a new setup of cards as a gift, and also tip when I cash out.

Also, I find that it's usually well received when I point out all the short comings of the game. Examples include, but are not limited to, the table, the chairs, the chips, the structure of the tournament, the food and alcohol selection, and often times, the shit regs playing in the game.
 
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I recently started playing in 2 existing games, @bvegas80 and @doublebooyah85

I like to think I make an effort to fit in with the group. Definitely make conversation and be part of the group.

When you are the new guy, and you are winning, try to bring a sacrificial lamb the next game to offer up to the rest of the group as a peace offering :LOL: :laugh:
 
Rhodeman77 said:
I recently started playing in 2 existing games, @bvegas80 and @doublebooyah85

I like to think I make an effort to fit in with the group. Definitely make conversation and be part of the group.

When you are the new guy, and you are winning, try to bring a sacrificial lamb the next game to offer up to the rest of the group as a peace offering :LOL: :laugh:
Click to expand...
A21CF05B-CDA1-444C-BFEA-8E15C74DB8D1.jpeg
 
Taghkanic said:
1) Arrive before the start of the game so you can get acquainted with the host, other players, the house and its rules.

2) If you are running late, always text to alert the host and your sponsor.

3) Be friendly. Make conversation. No need to go overboard, but at least engage with the group.

4) Be conscientious, especially in a self-dealt game, about acting on time, shuffling/cutting, pushing chips or cards as needed, etc. Don’t completely tune out what’s going on around you.

5) Don’t hit-and-run when you’re way up, especially in a brand new game.
Click to expand...

#1 - No, thanks. I hate awkwardly standing around waiting for a game to start having small talk with people that I may or may not like. I'll do that during the game.

#5 - He played for between 2 and 3 hours (supposedly). That's plenty of time, especially if closer to 3. Again, if an extended play session is required make that known in advance, but I consider 3 hours a very reasonable amount. I might feel different if he wins a big pot, then magically "oh I've got to run'

Basically - if you are there to play cards, make that your priority and be social. Don't be a douche.

Edit: New player experiences are basically interviews. He didn't seem that interested in making the game a regular spot or else he wouldn't have behaved that way.
 
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After reading through this, is this guy that bad of a degenerate to have to play in an online game, while playing in a home game?

That would piss me off.

For the most part, I have a solid group of regulars. Some of my regulars go back 20 years from my college days, to friends of some of my regulars that have been great. When I host, I always provide food and beverage, and everyone knows this. My regulars still continue to bring something, whether it be dip, desserts, a 12 pack, or a bottle of something. My one regular that goes back to college always brings the desserts. It's turned into a tradition now.

And again, no matter how many times I say to not bring anything, they still bring stuff. I personally think that this has been engrained in us to never come as a guest empty handed. I would be the same way as a guest even if the host told me not to bring anything.

Knock on wood, but my group has been really solid. Cops, doctors, trades, middle aged, older, blue collar, white collar. I feel very lucky after reading all these stories on this board of jackasses at home games.
 
doublebooyah85 said:
Haha never noticed that. Haha it’s a viral tweet Lebron made about Kevin Love 5-6 years ago lol was just being funny.
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No worries... I've had a couple drinks, and just happened to notice it and well.... couldn't help myself! haha

Perhaps, I'll try to add something actually worthwhile in a bit... o_O
 
The guy just doesn’t sound like a good fit. Wouldn’t be invited back. As far as the guy who vouched for him, I’d remind all regulars that they should prep their plus ones for how the game operates.

Pertinent to some of the rules the OP listed, I don’t really care what my players do at the table as long as it doesn’t slow down the action. I would have sort of snarkily made a comment to Mr. Internet Sensation especially after the tardiness. Also, it’s hard to make a rule that someone be social especially a new person. It’s the person who invited them and the rest of the tables responsibility to take care of that.

As far as hit and run goes, I make it well known that that is unacceptable and that good form is planning your exit and when you have the button state that when it gets back to you you’re cashing out. Yes, things come up etc etc but we all know what we’re talking about here.

New guy sounds like a remotely solid player and should have known better on all fronts from the late, no notice arrival all the way through his abrupt departure.

They shouldn’t hold their breath waiting on an invite.

This should be discussed among regulars about how growing the game is important but to do whatever it takes to do it successfully.

Take it somewhere else Jack.
 

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