Moxie Mike
Full House
I sent this to some friends who thought it was good so I thought I'd post it here.
You can surmise from the fact that you are reading this that I survived day one of the trip. And yes, this definitely implies that you should worry in the very likely event that you don't get another witty update tomorrow around this time.
The plane landed safely and I was able to retrieve my luggage without incident. I also to the best of my recollection have not been shot at in any point in the trip so far - a concern that hadn't crossed my mind until my teenage daughter specifically informed me that this is something I should actively be on the lookout for.
So far during my time in Vegasland I've made two important discoveries. First, the Caesars Diamond Rewards upgrade was definitely worth the price of admission. Main perks are complimentary alcohol whether you're playing or not, skipping to the front of the line in live games and access to the spa/workout area at the hotel, which does not suck.
The other thing is that I now have a personal driver for the rest of the trip. He's a cab driver named Preston - all you have to do is text or call him and he'll swing by and pick you up in his cab or personal car, even if he's not technically working. No more Ubers, and no more waiting in the taxi line like all those other not-well-connected people. Make sure you get his number from me if you're going to be in Vegas.
Old poker lesson relearned: Never bluff players that are too stupid to fold their hands.
In Summary in no particular order:
"So you chatted her up on the sidewalk outside the hotel for a few minutes, and then declined her services when you finally figured out why she was even talking to you in the first place?"
"Yeah pretty much."
"Well, did you at least pay her for wasting her time?"
"No that didn't occur to me. Do people do that?"
"I don't know - but you clearly need to stop talking to strangers."
You can surmise from the fact that you are reading this that I survived day one of the trip. And yes, this definitely implies that you should worry in the very likely event that you don't get another witty update tomorrow around this time.
The plane landed safely and I was able to retrieve my luggage without incident. I also to the best of my recollection have not been shot at in any point in the trip so far - a concern that hadn't crossed my mind until my teenage daughter specifically informed me that this is something I should actively be on the lookout for.
So far during my time in Vegasland I've made two important discoveries. First, the Caesars Diamond Rewards upgrade was definitely worth the price of admission. Main perks are complimentary alcohol whether you're playing or not, skipping to the front of the line in live games and access to the spa/workout area at the hotel, which does not suck.
The other thing is that I now have a personal driver for the rest of the trip. He's a cab driver named Preston - all you have to do is text or call him and he'll swing by and pick you up in his cab or personal car, even if he's not technically working. No more Ubers, and no more waiting in the taxi line like all those other not-well-connected people. Make sure you get his number from me if you're going to be in Vegas.
Old poker lesson relearned: Never bluff players that are too stupid to fold their hands.
In Summary in no particular order:
- Number of qualifiers entered: 1
- Number of qualifiers won: 0
- Time of day where going to bed seemed like a solid idea: 10
m. - Actual bedtime: I don't remember.
- Number of female buttcheeks witnessed: 8.5 (rounded up to the nearest quarter buttcheek).
- Number of naked men inadvertently encountered: 1.5
- Hours on the treadmill: .66
- Miles on the treadmill: 3.1
- Number of other men in the fitness area intimidated by my treadmill prowess: -1 (estimated)
- Number of prostitutes encountered: 1
- Number of prostitutes' services rendered: 0
"So you chatted her up on the sidewalk outside the hotel for a few minutes, and then declined her services when you finally figured out why she was even talking to you in the first place?"
"Yeah pretty much."
"Well, did you at least pay her for wasting her time?"
"No that didn't occur to me. Do people do that?"
"I don't know - but you clearly need to stop talking to strangers."
