Silly jokes (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter liftapint
- Start date
Mr Winberg
Full House
BonScot
Straight Flush
Remember when buying a cucumber to always put a jar of Vaseline in your basket otherwise people might think you’re a vegan.
Before deciding whether your spaceship can carry a cryogenic pod containing a superhuman, you must weigh the frozen Khans.
Just read this today and i laughed out loud LOLLOLL
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer : Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer : In the Barn
Interviewer: And the White one?
Farmer: In the Barn also
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?
Farmer: which one..black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: (Annoyed) but why do you keep on asking if black one or white one when answers are just the same??
Farmer: Because the black one is mine.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Its also mine.
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 litres per day.
Interviewer : Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer : In the Barn
Interviewer: And the White one?
Farmer: In the Barn also
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy... What do you feed them?
Farmer: which one..black one or white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: (Annoyed) but why do you keep on asking if black one or white one when answers are just the same??
Farmer: Because the black one is mine.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: Its also mine.
Two communists were talking. The first one asked his comrade, "if you had two houses, would you give me one?" "Of course," he answered. "You're my fellow communist."
"If you had two cars, would you give me one?" "Of course," was the reply. "Anything for a comrade!"
"Well, if you had two chickens, would you give me one?" Surprisingly, the answer was a firm "no!"
"No? Why not?"
"Because I have two chickens."
"If you had two cars, would you give me one?" "Of course," was the reply. "Anything for a comrade!"
"Well, if you had two chickens, would you give me one?" Surprisingly, the answer was a firm "no!"
"No? Why not?"
"Because I have two chickens."
BonScot
Straight Flush
Sean Connery in a lift (elevator).
Woman gets in next to him.
“Oh my god. You’re James Bond”.
“Yesh I am”
“I love your movies”
“Thanksh”
“I love all the gadgets”
“Yesh they’re fun”
“I like your watch. Did you get that from Q?”
“Yesh I did”
“Ooh what does it do?”
“It’s an X-ray watch”
“Oh that’s embarrassing. Can you see my underwear?”
“Yesh”
“Oh my. What colour is my underwear?”
“You’re not wearing any”
“Wrong. My underwear is blue. Your watch doesn’t work”
“Musht be five minutes fasht”
Woman gets in next to him.
“Oh my god. You’re James Bond”.
“Yesh I am”
“I love your movies”
“Thanksh”
“I love all the gadgets”
“Yesh they’re fun”
“I like your watch. Did you get that from Q?”
“Yesh I did”
“Ooh what does it do?”
“It’s an X-ray watch”
“Oh that’s embarrassing. Can you see my underwear?”
“Yesh”
“Oh my. What colour is my underwear?”
“You’re not wearing any”
“Wrong. My underwear is blue. Your watch doesn’t work”
“Musht be five minutes fasht”
Nine_high
Two Pair
Why do we always tell performers to break a leg before they audition?
because then they are sure to be in the cast
Yes. That is from the movie "Aliens".In space, no one can hear you scream = In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
From the new movie "Illegal Aliens": ... In the back of a windowless van, no one can hear you scream.
BonScot
Straight Flush
What do you call an Irish sex offender?
Pat McGroin
Pat McGroin
4SUMERZ
Flush
A bunch of guys are back from a day of hunting ducks, are sitting around the camp fireplace, when one guy spots the hunting dog licking his nuts.
The guys says, I wish I could do that
One of the others says...Go Ahead, I'm sure the dog won't mind!
The guys says, I wish I could do that
One of the others says...Go Ahead, I'm sure the dog won't mind!
Why did the apothecary give Romeo elixir to drink instead of pills to swallow?
Because Montagues and caplets don’t mix
Because Montagues and caplets don’t mix
Klobberer
Full House
I always heard it as..."Go ahead, but you might want to pet him first."A bunch of guys are back from a day of hunting ducks, are sitting around the camp fireplace, when one guy spots the hunting dog licking his nuts.
The guys says, I wish I could do that
One of the others says...Go Ahead, I'm sure the dog won't mind!
and where is Pat MacGroin?
With Phil McCrackin
BonScot
Straight Flush
That was the punchline to a different joke.
Dead baby jokes, back to 1999 we go!!!
1999? These were big in the early 80s when I was in 6th grade
BonScot
Straight Flush
I’m going to get a job hanging mirrors.
It’s something I can see myself doing.
It’s something I can see myself doing.
lol
i will push it back to the late 70's ?
---must be historic youtube about it
i remember those stupid kid jokes
"what do you call a blue baby in the corner..."
What do you call an Irish sex offender?
Peter File?
Peter File?
tabletalker7
Full House
BonScot
Straight Flush
Pete O’Phile is another punchline to another joke
... and Seymour Crotch.
4SUMERZ
Flush
What did baby corn say to mom corn?
Where's pop corn?
Where's pop corn?
4SUMERZ
Flush
Parallel lines have so much in common it's a shame they will never meet.
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