call him when you thwart a robbery at Tim Horton's.
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How did you almost die? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter jbutler
- Start date
call him when you thwart a robbery at Tim Horton's.
You can probably take this one off the list. Gators are opportunistic hunters, and they generally don't mess with people. We've got gators all over the place down here in Florida, and while there are maybe half a dozen attacks every year, they are almost never fatal.
As for me, I've led a boring/lucky life compared to some in this thread. I can only think of one time where I was truly close to death.
About 15 years ago, I lived in the East Bay and worked in San Francisco. I rode the BART back and forth, and was taking jiu jitsu a couple nights a week while also working about 70 hours at a desk and eating like crap. The morning after one of my classes, I felt nauseous but decided to go to work anyway. Halfway there, I was so ill that I got off the train and puked into a garbage can (the bathroom was occupied). Ridiculously, I decided to get back on the train and go to work anyway. I was okay but not great, worked about 8 hours and went home.
That evening, I got diarrhea and felt progressively worse. Finally about 11pm, I had my wife drive me to the local ER. The doctor asked me to provide a stool sample, so I went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. I woke up flat on my back, pants still down, with several doctors and nurses standing over me and a crash cart nearby. Apparently I had passed out on the toilet, someone heard the thump, and they came in to get me.
My stool was filled with blood - I was bleeding internally and in bad shape. I spent the next week in ICU, receiving a total of eleven units of blood and a bunch of tests trying to locate the source of the bleeding. They never pinpointed it, and exploratory surgery was discussed, but after a few days and a few medications, the bleeding stopped itself. I moved to a regular floor and then went home once my H/H was high enough, and I've never had a related problem since.
The illness motivated me to lose a bunch of weight and start taking better care of myself, and it also made me realize that my career at the time (game developer) was not conducive to a healthy body, marriage, or social life. Ultimately I quit the job, got another development position with less stress, fewer hours, and better pay, moved back to Orlando, and started playing poker a few years later.
About 15 years ago, I lived in the East Bay and worked in San Francisco. I rode the BART back and forth, and was taking jiu jitsu a couple nights a week while also working about 70 hours at a desk and eating like crap. The morning after one of my classes, I felt nauseous but decided to go to work anyway. Halfway there, I was so ill that I got off the train and puked into a garbage can (the bathroom was occupied). Ridiculously, I decided to get back on the train and go to work anyway. I was okay but not great, worked about 8 hours and went home.
That evening, I got diarrhea and felt progressively worse. Finally about 11pm, I had my wife drive me to the local ER. The doctor asked me to provide a stool sample, so I went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. I woke up flat on my back, pants still down, with several doctors and nurses standing over me and a crash cart nearby. Apparently I had passed out on the toilet, someone heard the thump, and they came in to get me.
My stool was filled with blood - I was bleeding internally and in bad shape. I spent the next week in ICU, receiving a total of eleven units of blood and a bunch of tests trying to locate the source of the bleeding. They never pinpointed it, and exploratory surgery was discussed, but after a few days and a few medications, the bleeding stopped itself. I moved to a regular floor and then went home once my H/H was high enough, and I've never had a related problem since.
The illness motivated me to lose a bunch of weight and start taking better care of myself, and it also made me realize that my career at the time (game developer) was not conducive to a healthy body, marriage, or social life. Ultimately I quit the job, got another development position with less stress, fewer hours, and better pay, moved back to Orlando, and started playing poker a few years later.
MoscowRadio
Flush
I was on my way to school when I was 16. I lived on the east coast and it was in November so it was still dark and raining. A guy falls asleep at the wheel and runs a red light going about 35 mph and slams into me with his humongous Buick. I flew out of both shoes and further than halfway across the intersection. The only thing that was broken was my CD player, but I remember not being able to breathe for a good 15 seconds and thinking "oh, I'm dying". Then he took me home and I woke my mom up saying, "hey Mom, I just got hit by a car. We should probably go to the hospital."
detroitdad
Royal Flush
I didn't almost die. I thought for sure I was going to. I repelled out of a helicopter once. Fuck that. Fuck the rush. I thought I was going to die. One time only, never the hell again!!!
iblonger
Two Pair
I was not the smartest young man in the world, so lots of close calls, but only two where I really had the potential to die.
When I was 16 I had only a motorcycle to get around. In Pennsylvania you must be off the road by midnight if you are under 18. I was on my way home on my motorcycle, from a family outing, and going faster than I should have been on a city street because of said curfew. I car ran a redlight and I proceeded to T-bone him at 40 MPH. I hit the car at the rear axle, slammed into the side with the left side of my body, and did a back flip over the car. Amazingly I landed on my feet. I was sore and had some minor ligament tears, and cartilage damage that semi healed over time. Only in the last 5 years have I begun to really feel the effects of the accident, with a hip replacement in my future.
When I was 18 we used to pass the time over the winter "bumper skiing". This is a practice where you grab the bumper of a car and slide preferably on your feet being pulled on a snow covered road. It was fun to do it with people not realizing you were hanging on. But we also would take turns driving each other around in our vehicles. This usually ended up with one of us driving incredibly fast, which is a blast! We were going on a road where there was not much traffic so we could go fast, as we went around a small bend in the road, the force of the corner made me slip off the bumper and slide into the path of an oncoming car. It missed my head by inches.
When I was 16 I had only a motorcycle to get around. In Pennsylvania you must be off the road by midnight if you are under 18. I was on my way home on my motorcycle, from a family outing, and going faster than I should have been on a city street because of said curfew. I car ran a redlight and I proceeded to T-bone him at 40 MPH. I hit the car at the rear axle, slammed into the side with the left side of my body, and did a back flip over the car. Amazingly I landed on my feet. I was sore and had some minor ligament tears, and cartilage damage that semi healed over time. Only in the last 5 years have I begun to really feel the effects of the accident, with a hip replacement in my future.
When I was 18 we used to pass the time over the winter "bumper skiing". This is a practice where you grab the bumper of a car and slide preferably on your feet being pulled on a snow covered road. It was fun to do it with people not realizing you were hanging on. But we also would take turns driving each other around in our vehicles. This usually ended up with one of us driving incredibly fast, which is a blast! We were going on a road where there was not much traffic so we could go fast, as we went around a small bend in the road, the force of the corner made me slip off the bumper and slide into the path of an oncoming car. It missed my head by inches.
Called "skitchin'(g)" where I grew up. UPS and other trucks with handles to climb up to a higher bed were always the favorite.
moose
4 of a Kind
You live in America though, where people don't apologize, they pull guns. I'd be impressed if that was in Canada.
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Nah, the cops are at Tim Horton's already. Nobody robs Tims.
courage
Full House
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Age 3: At the beach while Mom and her friends played cards, I was playing by water's edge and apparently decided to just walk out as far as I could. They lost track of me and only saw the top of my head. Not life-threatening but supposedly quite a drama.
Age 6: At public park for family reunion, hanging from the top/inside of a cone of monkey bars. Girl age 4 dares me to drop, says I'm scared. I showed her. Clanged my head twice on way down. Don't remember too much about the rest of that day spent lying with my head on a bag of ice. Predates Mom-concussion protocols. Girls still pwn me.
Age 12: Squirrel hunting with my brother (redneck credentials established even though this was IL not KY). We were well trained in gun safety but my brother's 20 ga. went off with the barrel inches from my head while walking. Safety latch on gun determined defective.
Age 14: eating cantaloupe at family dinner, laughing and eating too fast, sucked a giant chunk down my windpipe. Started choking, turning blue. Apparently this predates the widespread media campaign for the Heimlich Maneuver; Mom just wailed on me between my shoulder blades until I projected the offending chunk about 10 feet across the room.
Age 16: a couple of idiotic driving episodes, the scariest involved passing a car at over 100 mph and getting sideways.
Age 21: driving my hour commute at midnight in my AMC Gremlin! Dan Ryan expressway, Chicago, after big snow. I simply changed lanes and did three 360* orbits as I glided to a stop against all the snow piled up on the shoulder. The weird part was two cars behind me did the same thing while avoiding me, synchronized spin-outs at 60 mph. Nobody hurt, no cars damaged, we drove away. OK the weirder thing was it happened again the following weekend in the exact same stretch of road.
Age 29: had been having chest pains for two weeks and had seen a couple of doctors for X-rays and tests. After the latest X-ray, the lab tech comes out into the hall and asks if I feel OK. "Uh, yeah, what's wrong with me?" "The doctor will explain, but you should sit down." So I'm ushered into consultation with three doctors in a suite with red leather sofas and now I'm confused. Doc says I have a pinhole in my lung and I'm going to need surgery. "OK, well, I'll talk to my wife and schedule." Doc says, "No, you don't understand. You're going to have surgery right now. With every breath you take and have been taking, a little air escapes into your chest cavity which creates pressure. Your aorta could collapse and you'll have a heart attack at any moment." OK then. But first I got stabbed with a giant hypodermic needle without anesthesia, which was connected by rubber tube to a beaker of water. "If you can cough and make bubbles in the water, you don't have to have surgery." Fail. 6 days and a chest tube later, all good.
I can't recall any life-threatening episodes lately apart from playing poker with bergs and guinness.
Age 6: At public park for family reunion, hanging from the top/inside of a cone of monkey bars. Girl age 4 dares me to drop, says I'm scared. I showed her. Clanged my head twice on way down. Don't remember too much about the rest of that day spent lying with my head on a bag of ice. Predates Mom-concussion protocols. Girls still pwn me.
Age 12: Squirrel hunting with my brother (redneck credentials established even though this was IL not KY). We were well trained in gun safety but my brother's 20 ga. went off with the barrel inches from my head while walking. Safety latch on gun determined defective.
Age 14: eating cantaloupe at family dinner, laughing and eating too fast, sucked a giant chunk down my windpipe. Started choking, turning blue. Apparently this predates the widespread media campaign for the Heimlich Maneuver; Mom just wailed on me between my shoulder blades until I projected the offending chunk about 10 feet across the room.
Age 16: a couple of idiotic driving episodes, the scariest involved passing a car at over 100 mph and getting sideways.
Age 21: driving my hour commute at midnight in my AMC Gremlin! Dan Ryan expressway, Chicago, after big snow. I simply changed lanes and did three 360* orbits as I glided to a stop against all the snow piled up on the shoulder. The weird part was two cars behind me did the same thing while avoiding me, synchronized spin-outs at 60 mph. Nobody hurt, no cars damaged, we drove away. OK the weirder thing was it happened again the following weekend in the exact same stretch of road.
Age 29: had been having chest pains for two weeks and had seen a couple of doctors for X-rays and tests. After the latest X-ray, the lab tech comes out into the hall and asks if I feel OK. "Uh, yeah, what's wrong with me?" "The doctor will explain, but you should sit down." So I'm ushered into consultation with three doctors in a suite with red leather sofas and now I'm confused. Doc says I have a pinhole in my lung and I'm going to need surgery. "OK, well, I'll talk to my wife and schedule." Doc says, "No, you don't understand. You're going to have surgery right now. With every breath you take and have been taking, a little air escapes into your chest cavity which creates pressure. Your aorta could collapse and you'll have a heart attack at any moment." OK then. But first I got stabbed with a giant hypodermic needle without anesthesia, which was connected by rubber tube to a beaker of water. "If you can cough and make bubbles in the water, you don't have to have surgery." Fail. 6 days and a chest tube later, all good.
I can't recall any life-threatening episodes lately apart from playing poker with bergs and guinness.
I have fractured 6 bones and I have torn the tendon in my lower right leg and ripped a chunk of cartilage out of my instep in a freak basketball accident. I have also suffered numerous other injuries including frostbite in the fingertips of my right hand, but nothing life threatening.
I did have two close calls coming down off of mountains as a teenager. I lost my footing on a carpet of pine needles while running down Owl Mountain on a Sophomore class trip in Baxter State Park. I was rapidly sliding out of control towards a ledge's edge when a quick thinking class-mate hooked his arm around a stunted tree and reached out and grabbed the strap to my backpack. There is no question that I would not have been able to come to a stop on my own. I managed to find the one spot on the trail that had a sheer 60 to 70 foot drop off.
The second incident happened a year and a half later when I was 18. I lived in Camden at the time, two blocks from Mnt. Batty. I use to randomly pick a spot at the base to start my hike, and I would descend the mountain in the same manner. This was during winter. I encountered a four foot drop on my way down with an 18 inch wide snow covered ridge below. I jumped down and my feet immediately slipped on the ice underneath the snow.
The human body is capable of amazing things when it senses it's life is in jeopardy. My mind started racing on how I could save myself. The heel of my foot hit an outcropping of rock about 5 to 6 feet down the side of the mountain. I had the presence of mind to kick out (as best as I could) which spun me 180 degrees so I was facing the ledge. I fell another 15 feet onto seven small poplar like trees jutting out from a crevice in the ledge. I snapped three of the seven branchlike trunks, mildly spraining my ankle in the process. The top of the cliff rose 25 feet above me. I carefully turned around and saw the top and side of a green water tower ahead of me, and boulders 30 feet below. I managed to climb down the cliff without losing my handgrip or foothold. I am sure that I would have bit the dust if I had fallen a foot off to my right, or 18 inches to my left, definitely a close call.
(I also had a gun pulled on me in Connecticut outside of an IHOP one night. I don't know if this qualifies, because I have no way of knowing how close the person wielding the gun came to pulling the trigger.)
I did have two close calls coming down off of mountains as a teenager. I lost my footing on a carpet of pine needles while running down Owl Mountain on a Sophomore class trip in Baxter State Park. I was rapidly sliding out of control towards a ledge's edge when a quick thinking class-mate hooked his arm around a stunted tree and reached out and grabbed the strap to my backpack. There is no question that I would not have been able to come to a stop on my own. I managed to find the one spot on the trail that had a sheer 60 to 70 foot drop off.
The second incident happened a year and a half later when I was 18. I lived in Camden at the time, two blocks from Mnt. Batty. I use to randomly pick a spot at the base to start my hike, and I would descend the mountain in the same manner. This was during winter. I encountered a four foot drop on my way down with an 18 inch wide snow covered ridge below. I jumped down and my feet immediately slipped on the ice underneath the snow.
The human body is capable of amazing things when it senses it's life is in jeopardy. My mind started racing on how I could save myself. The heel of my foot hit an outcropping of rock about 5 to 6 feet down the side of the mountain. I had the presence of mind to kick out (as best as I could) which spun me 180 degrees so I was facing the ledge. I fell another 15 feet onto seven small poplar like trees jutting out from a crevice in the ledge. I snapped three of the seven branchlike trunks, mildly spraining my ankle in the process. The top of the cliff rose 25 feet above me. I carefully turned around and saw the top and side of a green water tower ahead of me, and boulders 30 feet below. I managed to climb down the cliff without losing my handgrip or foothold. I am sure that I would have bit the dust if I had fallen a foot off to my right, or 18 inches to my left, definitely a close call.
(I also had a gun pulled on me in Connecticut outside of an IHOP one night. I don't know if this qualifies, because I have no way of knowing how close the person wielding the gun came to pulling the trigger.)
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bergs
Royal Flush
I thwart nothing. I just wanted to play some ball.
bergs
Royal Flush
What part of CT? Me and 3 friends had a gun pulled on us at Taco Bell once and I was trying to talk the guy down when my friend suddenly laid him out with an overhand right hook. Surprised the shit out of all of us. Had another guy pull a gun on me and 2 friends at McDonalds after we said hi to the wrong guy. Just stared at him and he ended up wandering outside and pistol whipping the acquaintance that we said hello to when we walked in. Both were in central CT. Cops showed up, never questioned us, just hauled him off.
First car, driving a little too fast around a bend in the road and almost hit a car that was 70% in my lane. I shoot off the road to avoid the head on collision and manage to pull it back on the road. Unfortunately, the car is now spinning and then the right front tire blows. This makes the wheel dig into the road and flip the car in the air where it flipped 2-3 times and crashed upside down crushing the passenger side of the car. I vividly remember my death grip on the steering wheel and slamming on the brake while I was flying thru the air to the sounds of the Beach Boys ... "and she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes her T-Bird away" ... I was not driving a T-Bird. I was also not wearing a seat belt. I don't really remember the impact, but I do remember laying face up on the roof of the car surrounded by broken glass. I could still hear the wheels spinning over the sounds of the Beach Boys, so I reached up and ejected the cassette tape and it landed next to my head. Then I smelled and felt gasoline so I crawled out the broken window and hobbled to the side of the road. I came out with only minor cuts and bruises.
Landscaping job in high school. All of a sudden I start itching like crazy. Apparently, I had stepped in fire ants. I did not realize I was allergic to them. I started swelling up and having difficulty breathing. My supervisor rushed me to the hospital where the ER docs said I was lucky to get there when I did. Found a new job in a pizza place instead.
Out camping with high school friends, when someone got the bright idea to go toss eggs at other campers. So we jump in my friends Jeep and hit the first few campsites uneventfully. However, the next camp site started shooting at our Jeep as we sped away. I heard bullets hit the Jeep and later found a bullet hole in the leg of my bell bottom jeans.
Drunk escapade in college. My room mate had a fire extinguisher that we would fill with water and pressurize it to use in water fights in the dorm. One night we were driving around when he hoses down some guys in a pickup truck. They spun around and chased our car over curbs, thru yards, and thru traffic for at least 10 minutes until we finally lost them. I was sure they were going to kill us. The next day, my friends car had all four tires slashed and a window broken.
Also in college with my girlfriend (now wife) in the car. We were the first car stopped at a railroad crossing with the lights flashing but no crossing gate down. We waited for a minute or two and did not see any trains. I thought I looked both ways but I apparently did not see the train. I started across the tracks when all of a sudden there is a huge bright light and a blaring horn speeding directly at us. I had no time to react and barely made it across the tracks. I pulled to the side of the road and shook and cried for several minutes.
In veterinary school on equine rotation. The professor asked us our learning goals for the rotation and I said, "pass without serious injury." He didn't like my attitude, but I had no intention of ever treating horses. Late one night on an emergency call, I am working on an allegedly sedated horse lying on its side when I get kicked at the very top of the sternum. Just a little higher and my throat would have been crushed.
A few years ago, I apparently blacked out getting out of bed and fell and hit my head. I remember a feeling of nausea that made me think I was going to vomit so I jumped out of bed to rush to the bathroom - that's the last thing I remember. I don't remember falling or hitting my head. I awoke sometime later in a puddle of blood. Apparently I got up too fast and had a syncopal episode. The puddle of blood was a good 18 inches wide. I felt the back of my head and could feel a big knot and a gash. Unfortunately, my wife was out of town and only my 10 year old son was home. I got dressed and drove myself to the hospital. The ER nurse thought I had been shot because there was so much blood. The ER docs thought I was drunk or high until I explained what I thought had happened. They did blood tests, X-rays, and a CT scan and found no serious injuries other than the gash in my head. They sutured the wound and said I should stay in the hospital for a few days. I signed myself out against medical advice and went to work instead. I still have some residual effects and sometimes repeat myself. I still have some residual effects and sometimes repeat myself.
Landscaping job in high school. All of a sudden I start itching like crazy. Apparently, I had stepped in fire ants. I did not realize I was allergic to them. I started swelling up and having difficulty breathing. My supervisor rushed me to the hospital where the ER docs said I was lucky to get there when I did. Found a new job in a pizza place instead.
Out camping with high school friends, when someone got the bright idea to go toss eggs at other campers. So we jump in my friends Jeep and hit the first few campsites uneventfully. However, the next camp site started shooting at our Jeep as we sped away. I heard bullets hit the Jeep and later found a bullet hole in the leg of my bell bottom jeans.
Drunk escapade in college. My room mate had a fire extinguisher that we would fill with water and pressurize it to use in water fights in the dorm. One night we were driving around when he hoses down some guys in a pickup truck. They spun around and chased our car over curbs, thru yards, and thru traffic for at least 10 minutes until we finally lost them. I was sure they were going to kill us. The next day, my friends car had all four tires slashed and a window broken.
Also in college with my girlfriend (now wife) in the car. We were the first car stopped at a railroad crossing with the lights flashing but no crossing gate down. We waited for a minute or two and did not see any trains. I thought I looked both ways but I apparently did not see the train. I started across the tracks when all of a sudden there is a huge bright light and a blaring horn speeding directly at us. I had no time to react and barely made it across the tracks. I pulled to the side of the road and shook and cried for several minutes.
In veterinary school on equine rotation. The professor asked us our learning goals for the rotation and I said, "pass without serious injury." He didn't like my attitude, but I had no intention of ever treating horses. Late one night on an emergency call, I am working on an allegedly sedated horse lying on its side when I get kicked at the very top of the sternum. Just a little higher and my throat would have been crushed.
A few years ago, I apparently blacked out getting out of bed and fell and hit my head. I remember a feeling of nausea that made me think I was going to vomit so I jumped out of bed to rush to the bathroom - that's the last thing I remember. I don't remember falling or hitting my head. I awoke sometime later in a puddle of blood. Apparently I got up too fast and had a syncopal episode. The puddle of blood was a good 18 inches wide. I felt the back of my head and could feel a big knot and a gash. Unfortunately, my wife was out of town and only my 10 year old son was home. I got dressed and drove myself to the hospital. The ER nurse thought I had been shot because there was so much blood. The ER docs thought I was drunk or high until I explained what I thought had happened. They did blood tests, X-rays, and a CT scan and found no serious injuries other than the gash in my head. They sutured the wound and said I should stay in the hospital for a few days. I signed myself out against medical advice and went to work instead. I still have some residual effects and sometimes repeat myself. I still have some residual effects and sometimes repeat myself.
Googled Owl Mountain, Baxter State Park to find out its peak height, and found a picture from the webpage that I visited. http://www.summitpost.org/cliff-on-the-owl/444806/c-152462
Everyone has such interesting stories! I think the closest I've come is swerving into a HOV lane (carpool lane) to avoid a pileup on the 401 here and almost causing a second pileup myself.
I think the one thing we can all take away from this thread is to avoid Taco Bell at all costs.
I think the one thing we can all take away from this thread is to avoid Taco Bell at all costs.
tommythecat
Flush
More close calls than I can remember, but here are the few that are probably the closest...
18 or 19 sitting at home half falling asleep on the couch. Get an urge to watch a movie that I don't own a copy of so decide to drive to best buy. Driving along 80/94 to I-65 and nodding off at the wheel. This was before "recent" construction and the ramp was different from what it is now. There was a grass median between the opposing lanes of traffic. I fall asleep right before the ramp starts to veer right and keep going straight. The slight drop off jarred me awake and I immediately jerk the wheel to the right to get back on the road. Unfortunately there was now a semi there and I had just enough time to slam on the brakes and end up behind it instead of under it.
Another driving incident, this time driving from NW Indiana to Joplin, MO for christmas at the parents house. I didn't have a car at the time and my buddy loaned me his. I work over nights and my brother and I head out right after I get off work. When we got on the road I had been up for ~20 hours. A little past Rolla, MO I am in bad shape. My brother is passed out next to me and I am passed out behind the wheel. I wake up slowly and realize that I am driving with the passenger side front fender literally 1-2 inches away from the rear wheels of a semi trailer. I slowly drift back to my lane, slow down, then get off at the next exit to slam a 2 red bulls and 2 bottles of 5 hour energy.
Yet another driving incident, also on my way to Joplin for christmas, this time with my GF at the time. Coincidentally we were just south of Rolla again. We had just stopped for gas and switched to her driving so I could sleep. Shortly after I drift off a sleet/ice storm hits. She wakes me up to let me know about the conditions and that we should probably stop. Right after that we hit a patch of ice and plow over the wire median and slide toward oncoming traffic. Luckily the incline back up to the road was just steep enough that we came to a stop on the shoulder. Car was totalled, but drivable so we drove about 25 miles back to Rolla and sat in a body shop parking lot until my dad was able to come pick us up. I learned 3 things that trip. Bald tires are not good. E85 gas (rental) is shit. And the Chevy HHR (rental) is one of the worst pieces of shit on the road today.
18 or 19 sitting at home half falling asleep on the couch. Get an urge to watch a movie that I don't own a copy of so decide to drive to best buy. Driving along 80/94 to I-65 and nodding off at the wheel. This was before "recent" construction and the ramp was different from what it is now. There was a grass median between the opposing lanes of traffic. I fall asleep right before the ramp starts to veer right and keep going straight. The slight drop off jarred me awake and I immediately jerk the wheel to the right to get back on the road. Unfortunately there was now a semi there and I had just enough time to slam on the brakes and end up behind it instead of under it.
Another driving incident, this time driving from NW Indiana to Joplin, MO for christmas at the parents house. I didn't have a car at the time and my buddy loaned me his. I work over nights and my brother and I head out right after I get off work. When we got on the road I had been up for ~20 hours. A little past Rolla, MO I am in bad shape. My brother is passed out next to me and I am passed out behind the wheel. I wake up slowly and realize that I am driving with the passenger side front fender literally 1-2 inches away from the rear wheels of a semi trailer. I slowly drift back to my lane, slow down, then get off at the next exit to slam a 2 red bulls and 2 bottles of 5 hour energy.
Yet another driving incident, also on my way to Joplin for christmas, this time with my GF at the time. Coincidentally we were just south of Rolla again. We had just stopped for gas and switched to her driving so I could sleep. Shortly after I drift off a sleet/ice storm hits. She wakes me up to let me know about the conditions and that we should probably stop. Right after that we hit a patch of ice and plow over the wire median and slide toward oncoming traffic. Luckily the incline back up to the road was just steep enough that we came to a stop on the shoulder. Car was totalled, but drivable so we drove about 25 miles back to Rolla and sat in a body shop parking lot until my dad was able to come pick us up. I learned 3 things that trip. Bald tires are not good. E85 gas (rental) is shit. And the Chevy HHR (rental) is one of the worst pieces of shit on the road today.
I think you should just not get in a car...
My closest is probably when I was 3, mum was driving somewhere (how am I suppose to remember I was 3) dirt road and hit a slippery part of the road. Car rolled 3-4 times and landed on its roof on the other side of the road. I remember waking up sitting on top of my brother and our mum pulling us out of the wreck. So out in the middle of nowhere before mobiles sitting next to a wreck waiting for someone to drive pass. Which someone did not long after luckily. Also child seats where unheard of back then. Police apparently said we were extremely lucky no one died.
My closest is probably when I was 3, mum was driving somewhere (how am I suppose to remember I was 3) dirt road and hit a slippery part of the road. Car rolled 3-4 times and landed on its roof on the other side of the road. I remember waking up sitting on top of my brother and our mum pulling us out of the wreck. So out in the middle of nowhere before mobiles sitting next to a wreck waiting for someone to drive pass. Which someone did not long after luckily. Also child seats where unheard of back then. Police apparently said we were extremely lucky no one died.
The first major incident occurred when I was about 5. Playing around on a baby stroller (younger cousins had come to visit) when I smacked my head on a concrete sidewalk. Don't know how life-threatening it was but, there was a lot of blood and a trip to the hospital. I can still feel the indentation on my head 50 years later.
In my early 20's at least one alcohol related event. Left a bar at closing, driving two friends home, I attempted to leave the parking lot of the shopping plaza it was in by accelerating towards a brick wall. Only my friend screaming 'What the hell are you doing?' alerted me to my near fatal mistake.
The next two were in my early 30's. In a company van I was driving south on NY 12 out of Watertown, NY. It was winter and the road had hard-pack snow with some glare. It was uphill and I didn't think I was going that fast. I felt the vehicle start to drift left. I over-corrected and lost the back end. Fish-tail left, right, left, now I'm headed off the road. It's funny what pop's into your head sometimes. All I could think was, 'This is going to hurt.' I wasn't wearing my seatbelt because I still thought I was invincible. Don't know how I did it but I managed to spin the van 180 degrees and come to a stop perpendicular to the road. The whole event took about 10 seconds. I experienced it in slow motion. After I stopped shaking and put on my seatbelt I continued on my way.
The last was at a golf outing. I'm the passenger and we're driving down the fairway to pick-up a ball we weren't going to use. I kneel down in the golf cart. I just wanted to reach out and scope up the ball. My friend jerks the cart to the left and I'm ejected. What I remember is doing a shoulder roll and popping up on two feet with the ball in my hand. My friends all yelled 'That's so cool! It's just like the movies!' I'm neither nimble nor athletic. I will never know how I managed to tuck my head, turn my shoulder, use my left knee to brace my roll or how I ended up standing. The only damage sustained was two grass stains; one on my shoulder and one on my knee. I'm as certain now as I was then that any future attempt at that stunt would earn me a ticket to the morgue.
In my early 20's at least one alcohol related event. Left a bar at closing, driving two friends home, I attempted to leave the parking lot of the shopping plaza it was in by accelerating towards a brick wall. Only my friend screaming 'What the hell are you doing?' alerted me to my near fatal mistake.
The next two were in my early 30's. In a company van I was driving south on NY 12 out of Watertown, NY. It was winter and the road had hard-pack snow with some glare. It was uphill and I didn't think I was going that fast. I felt the vehicle start to drift left. I over-corrected and lost the back end. Fish-tail left, right, left, now I'm headed off the road. It's funny what pop's into your head sometimes. All I could think was, 'This is going to hurt.' I wasn't wearing my seatbelt because I still thought I was invincible. Don't know how I did it but I managed to spin the van 180 degrees and come to a stop perpendicular to the road. The whole event took about 10 seconds. I experienced it in slow motion. After I stopped shaking and put on my seatbelt I continued on my way.
The last was at a golf outing. I'm the passenger and we're driving down the fairway to pick-up a ball we weren't going to use. I kneel down in the golf cart. I just wanted to reach out and scope up the ball. My friend jerks the cart to the left and I'm ejected. What I remember is doing a shoulder roll and popping up on two feet with the ball in my hand. My friends all yelled 'That's so cool! It's just like the movies!' I'm neither nimble nor athletic. I will never know how I managed to tuck my head, turn my shoulder, use my left knee to brace my roll or how I ended up standing. The only damage sustained was two grass stains; one on my shoulder and one on my knee. I'm as certain now as I was then that any future attempt at that stunt would earn me a ticket to the morgue.
AfterTheFact
4 of a Kind
Just now while trying to read this thread while traveling 80 mph on I-85
Dont surf and drive people!
edit... Again while posting this while still driving
Dont surf and drive people!
edit... Again while posting this while still driving
Mr. Cheese
Full House
I've had some pretty close calls in cars throughout the years. No so much anymore but back when I was younger (I'm 28 now... I know that's not that old).
Age 18: I was into Dodge Stealths and 3000GT VR4's so I wanted a street one and a track one. My street one was a Stealth so I bought a VR4 for the track. Upgrade the turbos, fueling, intercooler, suspension, brakes among other things. I used to drag race and autocross it and one day decided to drive it on the highway with slicks. It was only about 50 degrees out so my slicks were rock hard ie no traction. On the highway towards a big curve before a long tunnel I decided to pass the guy in the left lane that was moving too slow. I planned to quickly move to the middle lane, pass him, then move back in front of him before the solid lines came up for the tunnel ahead. I punched it and swerved to the middle lane. The second I built boost all four tires broke loose (AWD), it kicked out sideways, I overcorrected which put me on a head on course with the concrete jersey barrier, corrected (over corrected the opposite direction and ended up doing a 180 into the middle lane but I was going backwards). So now I'm going backwards in the middle lane and all the cars around me are swerving and slamming their brakes on. To this day I don't know how I managed to do it but I did a perfect J turn and kept going in the middle lane. Pulled off next exit shaking. Decided to turn around and go home and not drive the Stealth with slicks on the street. See diagram below for roughly what happened.
Did a couple other really dumb things on the street with a different Stealth racing several other ones at a big gathering in the Dells like a year later but to protect the "guilty" I'm not going to go into details. Needless to say I'm lucky to be alive and not in prison with the speeds we were going at.
Age 18: I was into Dodge Stealths and 3000GT VR4's so I wanted a street one and a track one. My street one was a Stealth so I bought a VR4 for the track. Upgrade the turbos, fueling, intercooler, suspension, brakes among other things. I used to drag race and autocross it and one day decided to drive it on the highway with slicks. It was only about 50 degrees out so my slicks were rock hard ie no traction. On the highway towards a big curve before a long tunnel I decided to pass the guy in the left lane that was moving too slow. I planned to quickly move to the middle lane, pass him, then move back in front of him before the solid lines came up for the tunnel ahead. I punched it and swerved to the middle lane. The second I built boost all four tires broke loose (AWD), it kicked out sideways, I overcorrected which put me on a head on course with the concrete jersey barrier, corrected (over corrected the opposite direction and ended up doing a 180 into the middle lane but I was going backwards). So now I'm going backwards in the middle lane and all the cars around me are swerving and slamming their brakes on. To this day I don't know how I managed to do it but I did a perfect J turn and kept going in the middle lane. Pulled off next exit shaking. Decided to turn around and go home and not drive the Stealth with slicks on the street. See diagram below for roughly what happened.
Did a couple other really dumb things on the street with a different Stealth racing several other ones at a big gathering in the Dells like a year later but to protect the "guilty" I'm not going to go into details. Needless to say I'm lucky to be alive and not in prison with the speeds we were going at.
tommythecat
Flush
I know you say the Dells, but I am sure you meant you were racing "down in Mexico." 
great thread, no time to think about my past death experiences, but how about the times we have come close to death and didn't even know about it. I'm sure that is true for a lot of people, but they just don't know it
Mr. Cheese
Full House
I know you say the Dells, but I am sure you meant you were racing "down in Mexico."
Oh right right... Down in Mexico. Silly me did I say Dells, I'd never speed in the United States
moose
4 of a Kind
CO0LHand
Pair
Oh man, I need to write this all down, it involves a Kodiak Grizzly bear, lightning, a gun and a plastic 55 gallon drum but it's going to take awhile to write it all out.
gopherblue
Straight Flush
This pretty much sums up my childhood. How the hell did I make it?
[video=youtube_share;IJNR2EpS0jw]http://youtu.be/IJNR2EpS0jw[/video]
[video=youtube_share;IJNR2EpS0jw]http://youtu.be/IJNR2EpS0jw[/video]
bergs
Royal Flush
So basically you dropped a TON of acid as a child, cuz that video was outright fucking weird?
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