How do you deal with it? (1 Viewer)

[BGinGA]

How do you deal with the occasional asswipe/bum puppet who has a massively over-inflated opinion of their playing strength, and when continually outclassed at the table, they resort to crying like little babies and hurling insults to make themselves feel better?

Do you:

• try to ignore them
• laugh in their face
• try to help them get better
• punch them in the face
• spew witty remarks
• ask about their card protector when in a hand

Seriously though, is there a 'best practice' on how to deal with people like this, who clearly lack basic social skills yet insist on playing a social game for which they are ill-equiped?

And would you invite such a person to your home game or to a PCF meet-up, knowing how they can blast off publicly at others when losing? Is it worth the risk to the harmony of the event, just to get a shot at the easy mark?

Interested in hearing any and all opinions.

 

[inca911]

I'm guessing that for the vast majority of us, poker is for fun and not about the money. Nobody is going broke or retiring from the stakes we play. As the host, I'd talk privately with the player and explain that their insults and negative comments go against what we are trying to accomplish in a friendly game. I'd explain that if they can't stop the behavior when they lose, then I can't continue to invite them to future games. It isn't fair to all the players. I would offer to help; however, I wouldn't expect them to readily accept. Best of luck!

 

[manamongkids]

Toss their shoes outside

 

[pltrgyst]

....And would you invite such a person to your home game or to a PCF meet-up, knowing how they can blast off publicly at others when losing? Is it worth the risk to the harmony of the event, just to get a shot at the easy mark?

In a casino, easy mark prevails.

At home, one strike and you're out. Forever.

 

[slisk250]

If I host, they just don't get invited any more. I'm not sure how I'd handle that as a meet up host. I figure they are welcome and if they get out of line there are plenty of bodies to enforce whatever decision the group makes.

 

[Forty4]

I would probably enjoy spending his money that much more. I guess the better question is he that beneficial to the game? Is he going to make people not show up if they know he's there or are people looking at him saying well he'll drop a few hundred? I would try to get more input from the players.

 

[Big Jilm]

Fight Fire with Fire, show them just how annoying they are by doing the same thing. Make a point of it to be civil though and always extend that bridge of hopeful friendship. If they don't get it, LAY IT ON THICK and F 'em.

 

[derekdd23]

I have seen people deal with a lot of shit when someone keeps losing a lot of money. I have also seen some of those people have a huge blowup just because they wanted that persons money and finally snapped. If you play for stakes that are high enough I can see dealing. For smaller stakes games I would talk with the player and explain the situation. If the player cant handle themselves they should not be playing in a friendly game and should be asked not to come back. I personally would never invite that person anywhere and avoid playing with them. Everyone gets emotional at times, but if it happens all the time it is probably not worth having them.

 

[NiceShot]

If it's a home game, I tell them to cut that shit out or leave. For me home games are for fun and lack of respect for another player means a friend or guest of mine is something I will take personally. That being said if it's in jest, its all good. My friends can be sarcastic assholes, which consequently might make me one as well since I get along with them.

At a casino, depending on how I feel I may push them on tilt or say nothing at all.

 

[Wils]

How do you deal with the occasional asswipe/bum puppet who has a massively over-inflated opinion of their playing strength, and when continually outclassed at the table, they resort to crying like little babies and hurling insults to make themselves feel better?

Immediate solution: Review the offending hands with them in as detached a way as possible, as their emotions are getting in the way and this might prove to them their own ass-hattery. "Ok so when X bet, and Y called, why did you reraise when there was a straight draw on the board and you only had bottom pair? You know that X only raises when they have the nuts.." kinda thing. It gets hard to hide behind bluster when you're asked to explain or analyse something logically.

Long term solution: don't invite them again unless the money they donate is greater than the negativity they generate.

 

[Anthony Martino]

A home game should be fun. I made the mistake when I lived in CT and was running a league of giving a lady the benefit of the doubt when I was just getting vibes she was going to be a major pain in the ass, and it bit me pretty good and I wish I had 86'd here from the jump and been done with it initially.

Friendly ball-busting is fine in my game, nastiness is not. More than likely this guy has other things in his life causing him stress and his lashing out at the poker table is some spillover from that (kinda like when my parents fought over someone not tightening the cover on the Pepsi tight enough, they weren't really upset over the Pepsi, but it was used as a means to release their frustrations over other things that were the real reasons they were upset)

 

[Psypher1000]

Nothing like that has ever happened at my place, nor is it likely to. If it were to happen, though, as soon as the first real insult is let loose at the table I'll have a talk w/the individual after that hand. Behavior like that doesn't fly at my house, and if insulting others to put them off their game is part of your game, my place isn't a good fit for your brand of poker. You don't get to insult my friends in an attempt to win $5-$10.

In the *rare* instance that I host a 1/2NL game or higher, the behavior tolerance will probably change. At those stakes someone could easily lose a car or mortgage payment during the course of a night so the game is, by definition, no longer friendly - if you're at the table, you're out for blood. Defend yourself at all times. That being said, while I probably wouldn't regulate mid-game, the player likely wouldn't be asked back to another game at my house. I simply don't tolerate my friends and family being insulted very well just because some money is involved and you're an awful player. If you genuinely want help on your game, see me later and we'll chat. Otherwise GTFO and good riddance.

 

[Mr Tree]

I always want my home game to be fun. People who don't help the atmosphere find themselves uninvited. I'm not running a business, I am playing to have fun. Once my home game ceases to be fun i will remove the problem.

 

[Toby]

I'd have a quiet word first, to educate them on their poor etiquette and give them a chance to adjust their behavior.

Get a whistle and referee cards. If they act up, a short, shrill blast'll stop 'em in their tracks. First blast = reprimand; second = warning/yellow card; third = red card/off.

A social game should be fun. If this player's carry on is dragging others down, they should do. If they are a big of a joke and my players find it funny when they kick off, I'd keep 'em around for the comedy value and easy chips.

 

[Steve5k]

X2 slisk250 & forty4 & derekdd23. If they're gonna cost the attendance of others who are put off by the behavior, he loses the invite back. If not, he's gonna hear about how much of a whiney-ass cry-baby little bitch he is! We've all lost to 1-, 2-, 3-outers, etc. We've all gotten called by flush draws after shoving with a set. It happens. If it sets you off into a rant that kills the entertainment value others get out of our weekly poker game/escape from the wife, kids, etc., play somewhere else. Getting emotional is understandable, and trying to comprehend bad calls/plays is sometimes impossible. So go and have your little blow-up, we all know why, and that part is OK. But if it turns into insults, personal jabs, etc. then it's good bye. If it helps, I'll give you a handful of 'WTF' chips before you sit down

 

[Trihonda]

My most recent event involved a woman (very recent game addition, but experienced player), who became super impatient with a few of the newer players in a 20 person tourney and ensuing cash came. When a new player would make some minor breach of etiquette (such as running the flop one card at a time), she'd bark at them, that they were doing it wrong

During the example where she barked at the new player for not running the flop correctly, I interceded when I observed the newer player's frustration. all that it took was a simple calm explanation of WHY it's important to flop all three cards Simultaneously. The new player then understood. All was well.

I had intended to have a little chat with the barky lady, but she made a completely non-poker related breach of etiquette (before I had a chance) that negated the need. But that's another story I won't share, because it'll just get snarky drama magnet comments.

Luckily I've never had anyone throwing insults at other players, or anyone getting crying butt hurt after a loss. My game never seems to get that much drama... I can't recall ever getting any major blow ups or confrontations like that. But if I did have someone throwing angry insults, I'd pull the person aside and let them know their behavior was uncalled for. And that I value their participation in my game, and would like them to behave in a manner that would allow me to continue to invite them.

 

[BiGGyT]

I'm sorry but I gotta do it.

DID SHE TOUCH "IT"?

That door was way too open.


One more reason I don't want to be a host. Hard enough managing employees, managed drunks when I was a bartender in college, managing a game is mixing the two and adding gasoline.

 

[Lars]

I used to have a player that drove me absolutely nuts. I stopped inviting once it got irritating enough. Now when someone ventures into A-hole territory I say "Boy, Rick used to do that shit-I wonder what he is doing tonight? I can't imagine that he is playing cards in a sweet cardroom with a bunch of cool mofos. Probably playing some shit game somewhere on a shit table with shit chips and no money on the table." It has become a bit of a running joke but it usually works.

 

[tripleflatbarrel]

I've had this situation.

Friend of some neighbor buddies who started frequenting my game was brought along. The first night he was obnoxious and full of himself but it was tolerable.

The 2nd time he was more obnoxious, got kind of drunk, and sort of treated the game like a casino and me like the floor. (We split our 12 down to 2 tables and he kept calling to me asking to move tables because he was running so bad on his. After doing this like 5 times I finally snapped and told him for the 6th time he could either move tables like I've been telling him he can or leave). I figured this would have shut him up but it didnt. After berating a couple of my fishes for another 30 minutes he stormed out.

He didn't get an invite for about 6 months. The first game he wasn't invited to one of his buddies asked if he was coming. I made a pretty ambiguous remark about not inviting him anymore. It was just enough to get the point across without upsetting the group of guys who's buddy was off the invite list. (They are pretty healthy for the game).

Finally one of his buddies suggested bringing him on a night our player list was looking thin. I told him that was fine as long as HE told his buddy he's playing in someone's home and to act accordingly, and that it wasn't coming from me but HIM.

Formerly obnoxious guy is now a model guest; perhaps my most polite. Nobody got their feelings hurt, he probably learned a valuable lesson, and I never had to stick my neck out.

Win win win

 

[NiceShot]

I've had this situation.

Friend of some neighbor buddies who started frequenting my game was brought along. The first night he was obnoxious and full of himself but it was tolerable.

The 2nd time he was more obnoxious, got kind of drunk, and sort of treated the game like a casino and me like the floor. (We split our 12 down to 2 tables and he kept calling to me asking to move tables because he was running so bad on his. After doing this like 5 times I finally snapped and told him for the 6th time he could either move tables like I've been telling him he can or leave). I figured this would have shut him up but it didnt. After berating a couple of my fishes for another 30 minutes he stormed out.

He didn't get an invite for about 6 months. The first game he wasn't invited to one of his buddies asked if he was coming. I made a pretty ambiguous remark about not inviting him anymore. It was just enough to get the point across without upsetting the group of guys who's buddy was off the invite list. (They are pretty healthy for the game).

Finally one of his buddies suggested bringing him on a night our player list was looking thin. I told him that was fine as long as HE told his buddy he's playing in someone's home and to act accordingly, and that it wasn't coming from me but HIM.

Formerly obnoxious guy is now a model guest; perhaps my most polite. Nobody got their feelings hurt, he probably learned a valuable lesson, and I never had to stick my neck out.

Win win win

Haha its like dealing with the inlaws. Better if the wife does it. Luckily I have awesome inlaws .

 

[CHP TD]

simple

at my home game there is one rule that is most important. "Be nice or leave" These people will kill your game. Period.

its hard to find good people to play poker. dont let a fool stuff it all up if u have a good crew.

exclude him for the good of your game.

 

[Dale_Doback]

1. If it were my game, it would depend on if his actions/insults are bothering the other players or just me. The group I play with constantly busts each others balls and jabs in a fun/joking manner. It sounds like this guy is legit mad and his insults are stemming from him being genuinely pissed off.

2. It also depends how well I know the guy.

If it's not offending other people, I would just let it go unless it got worse and REALLY started bothering me.

If he is offending other players, and regardless if I know him well or not, I would talk to him one-on-one either after the game or the next day (not in front of other players).

If I know him well, I know I can be more direct with him and be like hey man, chill w/the rude comments...we're all here to have fun, nobody's trying to get rich and nobody's a friggin pro player so take it down a notch please. I don't want it killing the fun atmosphere that I want at my games.

If I don't know him that well, I would probably say hey, I know it can be frustrating when you're losing but everyone goes through rough patches or gets burned by bad calls but how would you like it if another player was slinging insults you're way? We're all here to have fun so please do me a favor and take it easy w/the negative trash talk, unless it's light-hearted.

Then regardless if I know him well or not, if he doesn't stop, he suddenly stops getting my text invites for the games...

And no way would I bring him to a PCF game whether I know him well or not. If I bring him to another game/event, it's a reflection on me (at least that's how I feel) so I wouldn't want to be responsible for bringing the guy who gets on people's nerves...

 

[12thMan]

@Trihonda or anyone else who wants to answer; what exactly is the reason or etiquette for doing the flop like a real dealer does it where they put the cards face down then flip them all over and spread them? Obviously I know doing it like a dealer is the "right" way, but this is one that even myself, someone who considers themselves slightly up to speed on poker ways, screws up if it's a true "etiquette" breach. I try my best to do it right, but half the time I find myself flipping one after another out of habbit. Also, for people who don't play all the time or seriously, this is not something they are ever going to do right with out being told. Casual or new players will eventually pick up on not acting out of turn, not discussing the board, etc etc just by osmosis, but I feel that turning the flop one card at a time is just a reality unless shown different.

Sorry for the slight thread jack @BGinGA .

 

[Trihonda]

@Trihonda or anyone else who wants to answer; what exactly is the reason or etiquette for doing the flop like a real dealer does it where they put the cards face down then flip them all over and spread them? Obviously I know doing it like a dealer is the "right" way, but this is one that even myself, someone who considers themselves slightly up to speed on poker ways, screws up if it's a true "etiquette" breach. I try my best to do it right, but half the time I find myself flipping one after another out of habbit. Also, for people who don't play all the time or seriously, this is not something they are ever going to do right with out being told. Casual or new players will eventually pick up on not acting out of turn, not discussing the board, etc etc just by osmosis, but I feel that turning the flop one card at a time is just a reality unless shown different.

Sorry for the slight thread jack @BGinGA .

It's called a flop because all the cards are supposed to "flop" into the middle simultaneously (OK, this might not be the actual reasoning behind the term "flop"). However, the reason all the flop cards are supposed to come at once (or close to it) is that it prevents a person from getting a particular read on an individual card. If you're that guy who can tell if someone likes a particular card on the turn or river (by their reaction), if the flop is dealt out one at a time, you can tell which card your opponent likes, and it gives away their hand/draw, etc...

 

[BGinGA]

Another advantage of dealing all three cards down and then 'flopping them' is that there is no chance of accidentally exposing any cards when flipping over more than one card (if doing it one-at-a-time).

 

[BGinGA]

How do you deal with the occasional asswipe/bum puppet who has a massively over-inflated opinion of their playing strength, and when continually outclassed at the table, they resort to crying like little babies and hurling insults to make themselves feel better?

Do you:

• try to ignore them
• laugh in their face
• try to help them get better
• punch them in the face
• spew witty remarks
• ask about their card protector when in a hand

Seriously though, is there a 'best practice' on how to deal with people like this, who clearly lack basic social skills yet insist on playing a social game for which they are ill-equiped?

And would you invite such a person to your home game or to a PCF meet-up, knowing how they can blast off publicly at others when losing? Is it worth the risk to the harmony of the event, just to get a shot at the easy mark?

Interested in hearing any and all opinions.

And, to add a twist to the festivities, how would you deal with a person like this who is a PCF member, and routinely hurls insults when playing here online? (yeah, i know, lol play money poker). Would you extend an invitation to a PCF meet-up to somebody who acts like this online? Would you expect their behavior to be any different if playing live, or for real cash stakes?

And if deciding that the person is not welcome at your PCF event, how exactly would you handle that aspect of it?

 

[stocky]

And, to add a twist to the festivities, how would you deal with a person like this who is a PCF member, and routinely hurls insults when playing here online? (yeah, i know, lol play money poker). Would you extend an invitation to a PCF meet-up to somebody who acts like this online? Would you expect their behavior to be any different if playing live, or for real cash stakes?

And if deciding that the person is not welcome at your PCF event, how exactly would you handle that aspect of it?

Hope it's not me I do a bit of ribbing in the stars games

But either way I would be cautious about inviting them, maybe a quiet word via pm to remember to be respectful. Sometimes talking online can be misinterpreted, if I thought this was a slim chance I'd give the benefit of the doubt. If I had no doubt that it was their usual attitude and felt the same way from posts on PCF I wouldn't give them the chance at all.

 

[slisk250]

And if deciding that the person is not welcome at your PCF event, how exactly would you handle that aspect of it?

hmmmm. Since I'll be hosting an event, I'll respond in the hypothetical. If I felt a member expressed interest in coming and there were other members or myself that were uncomfortable with their presence, then I'd handle it with a PM explaining the situation. I hope this never happens and I don't want to be in that position.

 

[MD Mike]

When it's a home game, I would not only think about how you feel about this person but how other players would feel having them there too.

Personally, for me, there is someone I have that I don't invite to poker games at my house because they have uncontrollable blow ups when things don't go their way and that makes everyone else uncomfortable.

It's kind of like running a business in some ways. You want customers but you don't want your good customers too feel uncomfortable and not want to come back.

So I don't invite this individual even though they would repeatedly dump their money to other players all the time.

Getting mad or upset is ok. But doing so in a way that makes other people uncomfortable is not ok.

Just my 25 cents.

 

[Dale_Doback]

And, to add a twist to the festivities, how would you deal with a person like this who is a PCF member, and routinely hurls insults when playing here online? (yeah, i know, lol play money poker). Would you extend an invitation to a PCF meet-up to somebody who acts like this online? Would you expect their behavior to be any different if playing live, or for real cash stakes?

And if deciding that the person is not welcome at your PCF event, how exactly would you handle that aspect of it?

If they're hurling insults online, I wouldn't invite them to a meet-up no matter how well I know them b/c I personally would assume it would only be worse in person

I wouldn't tolerate it from a dealer either. I'm going to have a permanent dealer at my game. My buddy used to have games and rotated between a few dealers...one night, one of the dealers was for some reason in a bad mood and while it is his job to keep the game moving along, he was doing it in an a**hole way and with an attitude. He was being exceptionally rude to one player, who had several cocktails. I pretty much never get upset and get along with everyone but the way the dealer was acting was even pissed me off. I get that he's working for tips and that's even more of a reason for him to move the game along but he was literally raising his voice and talking down to the player like he was a kid.

Out of the dozens of games I've played with this same player, this was the first time he wasn't paying attention as much b/c he was pretty buzzed so it's not like the dealer just had enough of him not paying attention at every game and just snapped on him. The dealer was obviously just in a bad mood.

A few f bombs later, the player he was picking on cashed out for the $500 in front of him. He's the typical lose/aggressive player that bets like crazy and the action is 10x better when he's at the game. This of course pissed off the players that he was leaving and also my buddy b/c smaller pots = smaller rake.

After the player got up and left, my buddy (the host) looked at the dealer and was like dude wtf? He went on a rant about how the guy wasn't paying attention. My buddy paused the game and went upstairs to talk to the dealer. He came back down by himself and he dealt the rest of night.

I talked to my buddy after the game and asked him wtf happened and he said he didn't know but he isn't having the dealer back b/c a) what if he snaps on another player, then roomers can start about what an a**hole dealer is at his game but also the next time this player comes back, if that same dealer is there, it's going to be awkward and there'll be an elephant in the room.

So he never invited the dealer back even though he'd been dealing for him for a good six months with no other incidents...this one incident was enough to hurt the image of his game/tarnish the mood and atmosphere of his game.