How do you deal with drunk players? WWYD? (2 Viewers)

[surfik]

I do not know USA reality but I would never take keys from anyone simply not to be responsible if the car would be stolen or vandalize. He is a grown man.
Maybe just talk to him and if he refuses, cut him loose If you a host of the game and he puts you in moraly and potencially legaly compromizing situation, he is not a good friend. Plus I do not like drunk people at the table.

 

[BPTDirector]

I had a good friend who was killed on Halloween around 35 years ago by a drunk driver. This left his family in disarray and even with a huge legal settlement they were never the same again. A life cannot be replaced. I still think of and miss this wonderfully funny, happy man a lot and will not ever let anyone get out of hand at my home. Please talk with this guy and let him know he and you both made a mistake that won’t happen ever again.

 

[triton]

I had a potentially unsafe situation happen at one of my cash games a few months back and would love feedback on what I can do to prevent this going forward.

• Do you collect keys at the beginning of the game?
  • One of my regs got mildly drunk and when the game was done, refused to sleep on the couch, take an Uber, or let one of us drive him home. I had another player follow him to make sure he got home safely. He got home safely but was all over the sidewalk and road on the way there.
• Do you cut them off from booze?
  • He was drinking the booze that he brought, and the only reason he didn't get more drunk was because he ran out of his own booze.
• Do you cut them off and cash them out if their play is getting reckless?
  • This same player ran hot early in the game but began to hemorrhage toward the middle of the game as he got drunk, he left with no money. Part of me feels like it was his decision to drink, and I am not responsible for looking out for his stack. The other part of me feels horrible for lifting 2 starting stacks off of him while he was playing sloppy. (We don't play for crazy money, its a 25/50c game).

Should this player even get an invite back? He's a solid player who brings good action, this is the first time something like this has happened, but I just want to avoid potentially unsafe situations in the future. Would love feedback!

My standards may be different than others, but IMHO talk of poker games and friendships in this context is irrelevant.

I have recently put myself at personal physical risk to prevent someone (a stranger to me whom I had never met) from driving drunk. When faced with the choice of possibly getting beaten up or letting this guy leave the area and potentially kill someone's wife, brother, daughter, parent, etc. I took action. There were innocent people on the streets who will never know I was their last resort.

Please think about this the next time you (or anyone) sees a dangerous situation. You can take actions that are different and less risky than what I did, but please take some sort of action. And asking someone to follow in another car doesn't count in my books.

 

[BigJackJones]

Poker, money, and hurt feelings are really meaningless in this situation.

A little over 20 years ago, I ran an underground game that would run up pots that would make any 5 of our bankrolls put together blush. I was young and dumb. Most of the players who took a seat at my table didn't drink at all, though I always had plenty of complimentary booze in stock. They were serious, solid players with wads of cash, and that's all I could see. Most.... there were a handful of players who drank, and some to excess. Rarely did it take more than a warning or a request for keys to avoid any serious situations.

However, there was one guy who might have had more cash than any of the other players, and he liked action. My assumption was that the other players would love to keep him at the table. He rarely took advantage of the free booze, but he usually had a flask or two on him.

One night, he came in with a Pepsi bottle that he would drink from, but it never seemed to empty. He was his usual self, in that he appeared intoxicated. He was playing like he always did, loose. I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

When he got up to step out to his Harley, my gut said "stop him" but I didn't listen.

10 minutes later, I heard sirens. I walked out to the end of the street and saw his Harley on the ground. He was in the middle of the road on his face, surrounded by police.

I couldn't find anything out until 2 weeks later when he showed up at my house. Several broken bones and scars later, he was alright and nobody else was hurt.

He showed up to make sure any money owed was paid, and to know when the next game was. He confided in me that he had taken about 40 Xanax that day; that he took heavy doses of Xanax daily.

I never hosted a game after that night. I've played some home games, but I have a little bit of a flinch when I think about that night.

Point One: If you take the responsibility to host a game, then take responsibility for the game; Not just the starting stacks, fancy chips, and snacks.

Point Two: Just because you set rules for about what is consumed at your game, doesn't mean you will know what happened before your game, or out of your sight line.

Point Three: Listen to your gut. I didn't and I regret it.

 

[allforcharity]

He confided in me that he had taken about 40 Xanax that day; that he took heavy doses of Xanax daily.

Probably embellished, or misremembered. Anybody that drops 40 tabs of alprazolam (Xanax) probably wouldn't be standing or breathing properly, never mind talking coherently. But doesn't take away from the heart of the situation, so thanks for sharing this.

Which brings up an important point. Whether you allow drinking at your home games is your decision. But keep in mind that alcohol doesn't mix well with a lot of non-prescrption and prescription medication like painkillers, sleep aids, psychiatric meds, antinauseants, epilepsy meds, etc. The average player might well be on one or many of these drugs. They will get impaired faster (and often longer) when you add alcohol to the mix.

 

[Bill_Man618]

This is a potentially very dangerous situation for all involved.

You should gather keys. Make sure everyone knows this is going to be a rule. Those who do not agree do not get invited.

As host, ultimately you will need to make a decision about how safe someone is to leave your house. Have an agreement on alternate conveyance if you decide to not let someone drive.

People will play while drunk, stoned, tilted, etc. That is, technically, their problem, if they voluntarily handicap themselves in this way. This is a separate issue from DUI.

Definitely would take keys if they're not able to control their drinking king when they have to drive home. I will play impaired sometimes, but those times are reserved for when I'm not driving home and am playing for cheeseburger stakes. Irregardless, there are liability risks if you allow people to drive home drunk.

 

[Bill_Man618]

Probably embellished, or misremembered. Anybody that drops 40 tabs of alprazolam (Xanax) probably wouldn't be standing or breathing properly, never mind talking coherently. But doesn't take away from the heart of the situation, so thanks for sharing this.

Which brings up an important point. Whether you allow drinking at your home games is your decision. But keep in mind that alcohol doesn't mix well with a lot of non-prescrption and prescription medication like painkillers, sleep aids, psychiatric meds, antinauseants, epilepsy meds, etc. The average player might well be on one or many of these drugs. They will get impaired faster (and often longer) when you add alcohol to the mix.

Prolly misremembered since he was on xanax lol

 

[BigJackJones]

Probably embellished, or misremembered. Anybody that drops 40 tabs of alprazolam (Xanax) probably wouldn't be standing or breathing properly, never mind talking coherently. But doesn't take away from the heart of the situation, so thanks for sharing this.

Which brings up an important point. Whether you allow drinking at your home games is your decision. But keep in mind that alcohol doesn't mix well with a lot of non-prescrption and prescription medication like painkillers, sleep aids, psychiatric meds, antinauseants, epilepsy meds, etc. The average player might well be on one or many of these drugs. They will get impaired faster (and often longer) when you add alcohol to the mix.

Odds are, he dropped a handful and has no idea how many he took. That's just what he reported to me. I've been sober almost 17 years and I have been around some hard-core users in that time. I can't recall anyone surviving such a thing.

I am glad everyone survived that night.

 

[TomC727]

So a couple issues here.

#1 - I wouldn't invite him back. Homes games are a big social event for me and my players. If someone does this at a home game, the chances of him doing it again at the next home game is zero, because I'm not allowing them back.

#2 - Collecting keys is embarrassing. A home game isn't a high school or college party. There needs to be responsibility.

#3 - I would have not allowed him to leave in his own car, and if things got physical, so be it. Either some other players who know him have to drive his car home with him in the passenger seat, or the police need to be called. I have a feeling that most local PD's would find a way to get this guy home while someone drove his care home, and not jam him up. Letting him leave in his own car leads to...

#4 - This is a major legal issue, that if he kills or injures someone in a crash, and is drunk, the family of injured or killed could have a field day with you as a host. The lawsuits would come in fast and furious, and whether you could be held partial liable or not, you would have to go through the massive headaches of lawyers and tons of money to defend yourself.

I don't want to be that guy, but #4 is severe, and him driving home should have never happened, even if Jesus Christ wanted to follow him home.

 

[Samuel]

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=VEH&sectionNum=23152

Almost forgot - for CA, there are two primary sub sections for DUI - CVC 23152(a) & (b) -
(a) It is unlawful for a person who is under the influence of any alcoholic beverage to drive a vehicle.
(b) It is unlawful for a person who has 0.08* percent or more, by weight, of alcohol in his or her blood to drive a vehicle. (* lower for commercial drivers, under 21, or under probation for DUI)

For (a) - it doesn't matter what you blow, you could blow a 0.00 but still be found in violation (after SFSTs)
For (b) - it doesn't matter if you show any signs of impairment or not, if you're 0.08 or over, you're still in violation

[And there are also (f) and (g)
(f) It is unlawful for a person who is under the influence of any drug to drive a vehicle.
(g) It is unlawful for a person who is under the combined influence of any alcoholic beverage and drug to drive a vehicle.]

Your local statutes may be pretty similar...?

 

[Tallguy]

This is a potentially very dangerous situation for all involved.

You should gather keys. Make sure everyone knows this is going to be a rule. Those who do not agree do not get invited.

As host, ultimately you will need to make a decision about how safe someone is to leave your house. Have an agreement on alternate conveyance if you decide to not let someone drive.

People will play while drunk, stoned, tilted, etc. That is, technically, their problem, if they voluntarily handicap themselves in this way. This is a separate issue from DUI.

Playing while stoned a handicap?!!? Clearly you know not the power of the green dragon.

 

[Darson]

We had this situation not that long ago with a good friend of mine playing at another PCFer’s game. The first indication was that another player said that we should not allow him to continue playing as we’re taking money from a drunk man. Knowing him as well as I do, I didn’t feel bad as he’s an adult and knows what he’s doing (in terms of playing poker drunk).

But as far as driving, no way we were letting him drive home. In the end I drove him home in his car and another player (a wonderful human) followed to pick me up and bring me back to my car.

Subsequent to this the player himself knew he had overdone it stopped drinking for a while and has never repeated that situation when driving.

Now being a good friend of mine, knowing his wife (I officiated their wedding) he was safe in my hands and I can persuade him to do what I want. Had it been someone else who I didn’t know as well, I would hope that I would behave in the same way but I’m embarrassed to say I can’t guarantee it.

 

[Bill_Man618]

We had this situation not that long ago with a good friend of mine playing at another PCFer’s game. The first indication was that another player said that we should not allow him to continue playing as we’re taking money from a drunk man. Knowing him as well as I do, I didn’t feel bad as he’s an adult and knows what he’s doing (in terms of playing poker drunk).

But as far as driving, no way we were letting him drive home. In the end I drove him home in his car and another player (a wonderful human) followed to pick me up and bring me back to my car.

Subsequent to this the player himself knew he had overdone it stopped drinking for a while and has never repeated that situation when driving.

Now being a good friend of mine, knowing his wife (I officiated their wedding) he was safe in my hands and I can persuade him to do what I want. Had it been someone else who I didn’t know as well, I would hope that I would behave in the same way but I’m embarrassed to say I can’t guarantee it.

It’s super hard to manage someone who’s to drunk to drive if they want to drive. I’ve been in those situations and while I was never the one that made the call I’ve seen people who are to drunk basically force the host to let them leave. It’s hard because you’re not really able to force them to stay against thier will. Personally, I will make every effort to prevent you from driving home. But if you’re dead set on doing it and I can’t stop you I guess you’re gonna leave. I just wouldn’t invite you back after that.

 

[LowerBama1714]

So a couple issues here.

#1 - I wouldn't invite him back. Homes games are a big social event for me and my players. If someone does this at a home game, the chances of him doing it again at the next home game is zero, because I'm not allowing them back.

#2 - Collecting keys is embarrassing. A home game isn't a high school or college party. There needs to be responsibility.

#3 - I would have not allowed him to leave in his own car, and if things got physical, so be it. Either some other players who know him have to drive his car home with him in the passenger seat, or the police need to be called. I have a feeling that most local PD's would find a way to get this guy home while someone drove his care home, and not jam him up. Letting him leave in his own car leads to...

#4 - This is a major legal issue, that if he kills or injures someone in a crash, and is drunk, the family of injured or killed could have a field day with you as a host. The lawsuits would come in fast and furious, and whether you could be held partial liable or not, you would have to go through the massive headaches of lawyers and tons of money to defend yourself.

I don't want to be that guy, but #4 is severe, and him driving home should have never happened, even if Jesus Christ wanted to follow him home.