New Most F*cked Up Incident Ever (2 Viewers)

[Old State]

Me and 3-4 other guys hosted eight 30 person tournaments a year from 2002 - 2010. We stopped because people started treating our houses like a casino or business rather than a house.

I remember piss splatter and drippings all over my buddy's floor and I came out and said something to effect of “what type of scumbag piece of shit would piss on the floor”. No one admitted it but it didn’t happen the rest of the night again.

Someone once also stole an entire unopened case of beer we had on an outside porch keeping cold in the winter. Luckily the worse thing that happened at my place was cigarette butts all over the back lawn

 

[CraigT78]

View attachment 1480752

Live action shot.

 

[Jimulacrum]

Next game, cover the entire bathroom in plastic sheeting and put up a comically large sign full of arrows pointing at the toilet bowl.

Use your poker sense to try to detect who seems the most embarrassed when people inevitably talk about it.

 

[WedgeRock]

Was there hair dye involved?

You tell us.

know we all assume it's probably pee, but I don't know if it was vomit, a spilled drink, etc.

 

[WedgeRock]

I was about to ask, "why are there crutches in the shower?!

Then I remembered her foot injury...

 

[upNdown]

View attachment 1480766

Spoiler

View attachment 1480767

This is everything.

 

[WedgeRock]

I ended up having to repaint my bathroom the next morning

Also, please tell me you used Kilz or some other such product before repainting.

 

[legend672]

Builder grade paint …. That does not clean well . As opposed to regular paint that cleans right up in a spiffy ? Where does one get this paint ? Why does one get it ?

 

[CraigT78]

I was about to ask, "why are there crutches in the shower?!

Then I remembered her foot injury...

That's a step ladder

 

[Hot Nuts]

Thank God I moved my games to the garage and driveway for cigars mainly. Peeing at the end of the driveway. Haven't had anyone have to crap inside.....yet. I probably jinxed myself.

 

[Tonysquander]

if my wife had noticed she would have lost her shit (and rightly so).

One player’s wife blew up and posted his HS grad photo in the bathroom when he hosted. Not going to lie, was kind of creepy having him observe the action

 

[philhut]

Honestly I don't understand how people fail to aim. It's a pistol fired multiple times a day for life. Lift the seat and aim for the middle like that squirtgun ga.e at the carnival. Anything else is ignorant.

I'd steam your wall and consider painting. At the next game I'd bluntly say...look someone did something to the wall in the bathroom, it's now painted Don't Ever do t again, or there will be issues. If you can't aim *%$@¥ (words) sit.

IWhen my daughter was young and I took her to a public washroom I would to call people who made a mess "pigs". While at a local thempark she was about 5, she said "Daddy, a pig peed on the seat in here.....and there he is (pointing her finger at a grown man. The goof actually challenged what my kid said....could only say well you've been called a pig by a 5yr old, how does that feel.

 

[LowerBama1714]

Jesus. Lots of interest for a kink thread…

 

[drdr]

Builder grade paint …. That does not clean well . As opposed to regular paint that cleans right up in a spiffy ? Where does one get this paint ? Why does one get it ?

I've had similar. Builder's painters used nasty cheap paint that is easily damaged when wiping it. They also didn't use a primer on raw plaster before painting. Heard some painters dilute the paint which can result in similar.

Someone up thread mentioned good quality semi-gloss. That indeed cleans better without damage (with care).

 

[buzzmonkey]

this was after the first coat of paint. so definitely was much worse to start with.View attachment 1480790

When you walked in did you yell,

"Urea! I have found it!"

 

[Taghkanic]

What would you do next with an established group?

Lock the bathroom and make them do their business outside.*




* Note: That’s what we do at my place anyway. Game is in my barn. People go out and piss into the edge of the woods. If someone needs to do more, they have to ask (embarrassing) and take a walk of shame with me back to the house (about 200 yards away). Everyone seems to remember to crap at home before the game now, or else is holding the #2 in. Which frankly gives me an edge, I think.

 

[Taghkanic]

Nice house, and it's the only downstairs bath.

My great-grandfather was a very successful doctor, and had a urinal in his house. Are you saying my great-grandfather’s house wasn’t nice?

 

[BarrieJ3]

i have one and he is a semi sophisticated gentleman

I’m over here like wtf is a “semi sophisticated gentleman”?

 

[MrCatPants]

My great-grandfather was a very successful doctor, and had a urinal in his house. Are you saying my great-grandfather’s house wasn’t nice?

prove that it was nice

 

[Taghkanic]

Note to self: If ever building a dedicated poker house, include one of those fancy-dancy open plan bathrooms with the toilet, shower and sink in one continuous tiled/concrete space, running down to floor drains, so that I can just hose the whole thing down.

Come to think of it, some trailers have bathrooms like that... OK, gonna buy an Airstream and park it outside my barn.

 

[Taghkanic]

prove that it was nice

He’s been dead since 1983. Gonna be difficult to break into the house but I’ll do my best

 

[MrCatPants]

He’s been dead since 1983. Gonna be difficult to break into the house but I’ll do my best

godspeed

 

[Traze]

Love the idea of putting up a poster, easiest and funniest way to deal with it

 

[bergs]

Still host poker, just don’t allow urination. If they have to owe they have to go home and come back.

(My phone autocorrected to “just don’t allow ruination” and I was like whoa, don’t we all want that?)

 

[bergs]

Do any players work at O’Reilly’s or Napa Auto Partys? Suspect them first.

 

[Budha]

All jokes aside, I’d put some better paint on the bathroom walls.

Get some Ben Moore. I’d keep it flat as you can touch it up vs having to paint the whole wall. Or go satin or egg shell which will be “cleanable” but not “touch-up-able”

If you host poker games. It just bound to happen again - lol.

 

[SixSpeedFury]

Put this sign up so they get the hint

 

[allforcharity]

I don't want to host anymore

 

[drdr]

I don't want to host anymore

Kind of like turning full time pro player, right?
Have to love it so much you can get through the downsides.
/ No one has pissed everywhere for me yet.

 

[FDLmold]

I'd send out a note telling people there is a hidden camera in there now.