Sorry, I was being an ass. But that shouldn't come as a surprise given our history...
Our history is in a large part due to the fact that you have the social grace of a rabid woodchuck, but I'll try to look past that and the fact that the "seat open" comment was confusing at best, and accept your criticism for what I hope is constructive purposes.
With respect to the hand itself, you couldn't have played it any worse.
Yes, I played it very poorly. That's why I posted it - to get constructive criticism to help improve my play. I haven't played much casino NLHE in the last 12 months and I'm rusty in some spots. I'm sorry that it wasn't a brag thread. I can post some of those too if you want. It's not like I stumble drunkenly around the poker room floor repeatedly making moves like this, but you must have damn near wet yourself in orgasmic pleasure when you saw and seized the opportunity to offer me criticism. I'm glad I could help you end April on a high note.
The pre flop call isn't just bad, it's atrocious and demonstrates a severe lack of understanding of when and why you'd want to play somewhat splashy draw hands on the button. You'd need to be playing with about $2k+ effective stacks AND (here's the key part) be able to have the confidence to want to get that money in when you bink your hand AND have a decent chance of getting paid off once you get there. None of these things are ever happening with 92s. This hand is a prime example. Everything went your way (perfect flop, perfect turn, and almost perfect river) yet you still didn't get paid off anywhere near as much as you'd need to in order to make this pre-flop play profitable (you made $333 on this hand and risked $35 pre flop to get it. Make this call 9 more times and see how you do then). The type of hands you should be splashy with here need to have the opportunity to at least make the nuts sometimes. Hands like 75s are what you can profitably splash with here, not 92s. You can make a pretty well disguised nut straight that will get paid off big if your opponents make the right hands. But you're never getting paid off with your 92s even when things go perfectly for you.
I don't make this kind of call often - even on the button. At 2/5 or higher I'll never make it (though I will with suited connectors and suited gap connectors as you indicated previously). That said, I was looking for post-flop criticism, so let's move on before I make fun of you and make you quit something again like what happened with fantasy football. I don't want to bruise the poor, tender overripe banana that is your precious ego. I'm not even sure how you posted all of this without dropping a Negreanu reference, honestly. That must've required that you exert an exorbitant amount of self-control.
On the flop, flatting isn't just bad, it's pretty terrible. You are a slight favorite vs AQo, KQo, and even to AKss and your fold equity is through the roof. There's plenty of money in the pot already worth fighting for, and the fold equity alone should be enough for this to be a must raise situation. You should be happy to get this hand heads up on the flop against strong hands like AQ, AKss, KK, AA, ATss (less likely) and shouldn't be worried about the rare occasions that you'll be up against a set. When it happens, it happens and you'll still have plenty of outs. If the AQo folds, and you get called by someone with nut flush draw, you're still a slight favorite. However, there's one critical component to this analysis that everyone is missing (or so I didn't see it when I quickly skimmed). Look at what happens to your equity in the case where you're up against AQo AND a higher flush draw. You need to try to get this hand heads up. If you are up against both of these types of hands, you need to get one of them to fold. It's pretty unlikely that both hands would be willing to get it in on this flop if the action got crazy here (and it should).
Here's the part of your post that I was actually interested in...
I definitely should've raised here. It was actually the river that I was posting this head for initially, so I was a bit surprised about the feedback everyone provided regarding needing to raise the flop. The bottom-pair plus flush draw versus top-pair plus flush draw was a concept that I didn't consider here (thanks jbutler and others). You raise a great point in that I needed to get AQ to fold here. I never got the impression that MP was folding, but I think a flop raise followed by the turn lead would've gotten UTG to fold.
Agree that this was the only street I played reasonably well here.
TThe river: This might be the biggest leak of the entire hand. But it sounds like you've already figured that out. The fact that the Qs, Js, 9s, and 8s are all accounted for means you're really only worried about one specific combo here: AKss. A combo which if they had it, would almost certainly value bet this river AND would usually have raised this flop. You took a crazy long odds chance with this hand pre-flop, everything went your way post flop, you made what you were hoping to make, you have position, you know you're getting paid off by the AQ, and players almost never Hollywood tank then check raise with nut flush in this spot on the river. You may as well start lighting hundred dollar bills on fire if you're going to check this river back.
It's absolutely the biggest leak of the hand. I'd almost always bet in this situation here and I think my rustiness with NLHE caused me to check it back.
One thing that I don't think as come up here is what my bet sizing should've been on the river. Bet sizing is something that I occasionally struggle with. I obviously want two calls in this spot - or I want to size the river bet so that UTG folds his AQ and MP thinks this is a bluff and comes over the top. That's actually why I checked back - because I didn't want to get blasted off the hand by MP - but I didn't think the river through to the extent I should've else I would've made a play to get him to do just that and get max value.
I think UTG probably calls $100. If UTG comes along, MP is probably folding or flatting - UTG only had $180 or so to start the hand if memory serves. Maybe if I lead out $200 it gets UTG to fold and MP to come over the top, but we're actually not that deep (one of the many reasons I normally loathe 1/2).
If anyone has opinions on the river bet sizing I'd be interested...
My advice: stick to the name calling and berating people here on the forums. Poker clearly isn't your thing...
I primarily berate just you, but it's usually because you make idiotic comments like this. Man, you were doing so well too, trying to be a helpful community member, and then you just couldn't help yourself, could you? Hard to believe that so many people here really can't stand you.
My advice: stick to chips and poker and try to at least assume a mantle of faux humility once in a great while. I can trade insults with you all day and night long - to be perfectly transparent, I'm way better at it then you are - but you're really just hurting yourself.