The Fine Art of Small Talk (7 Viewers)

[Roslindale]

On Sunday, I'm hosting once again. We do it for the camaraderie and fun.

A new wrinkle to the event. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, we will have a book review going on at the table, with little cue cards for each, that highlight a part of the book. Here are 3 of the cards:

Have you done anything like this before?

I've tried conversation starter cards/games before, but they didn't really work fully. Jokes seem to go well, but it's hard coming up with new material. (Have a thought to copy Norm Macdonald "blue card" jokes for another event)

Here is the book, which I've read 3 times. It has really helped up my communication game with people immensely.

Any thoughts on how to make this work or be improved?

 

[BGinGA]

I just wanna play poker with some friends.

This smells too much like therapy.

 

[ekricket]

I think this is in the wrong thread. Here’s a link to help, lol.

https://www.pokerchipforum.com/threads/derail-and-wtf-merge-thread.3664/

 

[Roslindale]

This smells too much like therapy.

This is a concern... might be too contrived to include this.

But I so want to try it, just to see what happens.

Two of the guests have not been here before. Also, it is a blending of multiple groups of friends and almost random poker people.

You, and others, may be right. Might be contrictive to conversation, rather than blossoming.

We shall see.

 

[merkong]

Any thoughts on how to make this work or be improved?

Don’t.

 

[NotRealNameNoSir]

Hey I'm happy if this makes your game more fun and if your players like it, but we'd absolutely hate this. I dont want icebreakers I want to play poker and just chat. Handing a card out and having to hold up the action while Roger tries to remember the name of that goddamn movie he saw last year would tilt me.

Forced conversations suck, and it dampens real interactions. As a host, just connect people. Introduce everyone, tell people they're bad parents, all the fun stuff.

 

[Moxie Mike]

I just wanna play poker with some friends.

This smells too much like therapy.

This.

We might all be at the table because of our childhood trauma, but we're not there to discuss it.

 

[Roslindale]

Forced conversations suck, and it dampens real interactions. As a host, just connect people. Introduce everyone, tell people they're bad parents, all the fun stuff

I can't say I'm second guessing myself, yet.

It could be a good opportunity to advertise PCF too. With talk of the thread now.

Pushing back a little is half the fun at times. It opens up the opportunity for banter on my idea of this.

Imagine that, showing up to a poker game, and it's a book club! Lame. Who the F does that.

Bring it. And keep the game moving, for sure.

Over time, slow players have been weeded out a bit from the invite roll.

 

[merkong]

This.

We might all be at the table because of our childhood trauma, but we're not there to discuss it.

This lol

 

[merkong]

Two of the guests have not been here before.

They’ll either never be back or they’ll expect something like this every time.

 

[TheBigTater]

examples of small talk heard at the table......

Pot
Repot
Repot MF'r
All-in call
Nuts
GG, f**k

 

[Roslindale]

They’ll either never be back or they’ll expect something like this every time.

Very good point...

Now that makes me reconsider.

Originally, was going to have cards and book on the table as players arrive.

Now. I might change that... perhaps with a feeler out conversation with everyone later. The , pull out the cards!

 

[merkong]

Very good point...

Now that makes me reconsider.

Originally, was going to have cards and book on the table as players arrive.
View attachment 1412387

Now. I might change that... perhaps with a feeler out conversation with everyone later. The , pull out the cards!

Nice table.

 

[Highli99]

Pain is how we know we are alive, and poker is a well spring of pain. That's enough for me.

 

[doublebooyah85]

Some people enjoy poker bc it’s a social gathering, and they enjoy talking. Others want to just stfu and play poker. And for those reasons I’d stay away from this idea. And we all know I’m a talker at the table lol

 

[Roslindale]

Nice table

Thanks


I really do appreciate all the feedback. It is helpful.

Definitely not going to have the cards on the table to start. But I will bring up the conversation on the book, in the flow of conversation. Leaving open the idea of introducing the blue conversation cards.. if only to get more feedback on the idea.

 

[Irish]

I've participated in several events/programs to help with things like communication, growing trust, team/relationship building, conflict resolution, negotiations, etc. Most were very worthwhile, they can definitely be beneficial and there's a lot of merit in being forced beyond your comfort zone from time to time.

However, those were either professional or personal instances where everyone knew what they were getting into.....

Unbeknownst to the other attendees....

^This^ being the case, imho this doesn't belong anywhere near a poker table.

 

[Roslindale]

we all know I’m a talker at the table lol

That's what I like hear! Keep it coming.

 

[Highli99]

On second thought, as long as none of your curated conversation topics are about poker strategy, I guess I don't GAF. For the love of everything degenerate, please do not start conversations about poker strategy. Nothing is more boring and soul-sucking.

 

[chippitydoodah]

Index cards???
Book club?????

 

[ekricket]

Any thoughts on how to make this work or be improved?

People sometimes are afraid or uncomfortable to open up about their “opinions” on soft things or memories because they want to fit in, and everybody thinks their experience or thoughts might be considered weird.

Stick to things they really know deep, like politics and religion. Nobody has any problems expressing themselves there. Lively conversation will ensure, often with animated hand gestures.

 

[TheJestyr]

So I started reading others’ feedback and saw so much negativity that I just scrolled to the bottom to add my .02

I think it’s a great idea. Too often I sit around with my guy friends and couldn’t tell you how their kids are or how their families are doing, we just focus on the activity at hand (playing golf, poker, watching football, whatever) and it’s not exactly “quality time”…

Personally I wouldn’t do this for the full time, maybe for the first hour or even as people are showing up pour some drinks and each person gets a card or prompt. And if they happen to find out their answer from everyone at the table by the end of the first two hours, they win prizes or something?

I dunno, I’m thinking of ways to make it a little less forced, but I still think it’s a wonderful idea

 

[umbkcshah]

Sure I've done this, but it was speed dating or team building junk.

Just let conversation happen naturally, some people don't want to talk or build deep connections with degens.

 

[TheJestyr]

Also, I wanna clarify I would never do this at my more competitive games. But with my good friends or family where we’re prolly playing 5c/10c and poker is taken seriously, I think this would be great.

 

[upNdown]

It seems like a strange idea to me because I’ve played at Roslindale’s game, and there was no shortage of conversation - great host, fun guys, good game!
But hey, nothing wrong with trying something new.

 

[shorticus]

I think this is in the wrong thread. Here’s a link to help, lol.

https://www.pokerchipforum.com/threads/derail-and-wtf-merge-thread.3664/

Someone say derailment? I’m in!

 

[merkong]

Unbeknownst to the other attendees

That’s when you say “Welcome to Mixed Poker Night!”

 

[shorticus]

Also, I wanna clarify I would never do this at my more competitive games. But with my good friends or family where we’re prolly playing 5c/10c and poker is taken seriously, I think this would be great.

I think Jestyr hits it on the head here. What’s the general purpose of the game. If this is just passing time shooting the shit with friends, I’d say it’s up to you. If your game has “grinders” or people who really enjoy poker, this will be as bad as a fart in church.

Also, even in friendly games, as the stacks get deeper the game begin to tense up in my experience. There’s a lot less talking and a lot more focus. It might be a good idea to maybe use this tactic early on, but maybe wrap it up before the game gets deep.

 

[Roslindale]

. But with my good friends or family where we’re prolly playing 5c/10c

Definitely meant to be a fun experience.

We used to play larger stakes at my place, with match-a-stack allowed...
I choose to go a different route, and bring the stakes way down. These games aren't meant to make rent money on, more for having some good clean fun with cool peeps.

The stakes chart for this Sunday:

 

[Roslindale]

please do not start conversations about poker strategy. Nothing is more boring and soul-sucking.

So true!

, maybe for the first hour or even as people are showing up p

I'm thinking, we'll placed introduction will make a big difference. Timing matters.

It might be a good idea to maybe use this tactic early on

Good insight.