Thoughts on my handling of one of my players, please (2 Viewers)

[Mr Winberg]

Hi PCF,

What are your thoughts of how I am handling this situation? Am I too harsh? Too soft? How would you handle it?

Background
I handle my tourney invites via Facebook events in my Facebook poker group. Those without Facebook are handled separately. For that reason, for each tourney I have a post in the group where I list

• No of seats
• No of seats spoken for (I specify the total and also how many that are spoken for outside the group, for clarity)
• No of availabe seats
• Queue (here I list the people in the queue, in order)

Needless to say, the queue is empty until all seats are spoken for.

However, one of my players has repeatedly claimed a seat only to no-show. One of these times I contacted him afterwards. He gave an excuse and ironically (my subjective interpretation) wrote "sorry for taking up 1/17 of your seats" (I only had 17 seats back then). I wanted to reply "don't apologize to me, apologize to Bob who was first in the queue but had to stay at home because of you", but instead I adopted the Swedish way and bit my tongue.

Other times he has no-showed but changed his answer in the event like an hour before the event (one time it was just 15 minutes!). The last hours before an event I'm busting my ass getting everything ready, it's very easy to miss last minutes changes. Every single time someone other than him has had to cancel the same day they have called! Not updated their status, not even texted, they have called!

My solution
So I had 16 out of 24 seats claimed, and then he signed up. So I listed 16 seats as claimed, 8 seats as available, and him as the single person in the queue. Today it has grown to 21 claimed, 3 free, and him in the queue. I see now that he has been made aware of this, and I'm expecting drama.

When he calls me about this I'll tell him that he only replied "maybe", hence the queue. He'll probably say like "no, my status is that I'm coming" to which I'll say that he's proved time and time again that "yes" means "maybe" when it comes from him. Fool me once etc, so I've finally recognized to interpret his yes's as maybies.

If he really wants to seat, he'll have to Venmo me the buy-in immediately without the possibility a refund, so if he no-shows, the money is in the pot.

Thoughts on my approach?

 

[JMC9389]

That's perfect. You're doing fine. Back of the line unless there's definitely a seat open. Auto wait listed until he proves more reliable.

 

[Chippy McChiperson]

You could make a rule going forward that if you cancel without proper notice, and your spot is unable to be filled by someone on the queue because you waited to long to cancel, then the Next time you claim a seat you have to venmo your money up front, with no refund. (Obviously emergencies would be an exception. Or another option is if you repeatedly cancel at the last minute, you will be removed from the list.

 

[chippitydoodah]

Pre pay. Perfect solution!

 

[Eriks]

I don’t have an open list for people to sign up, but I move repeat offenders like this to the back of the text list. I want people that wants to play, not people who’ll play if nothing more exciting turns up.

 

[NotRealNameNoSir]

That snarky text gets him on my eye-roll list. If hes a good friend I like thats fine but if hes back talking after being a pain in my ass and is just a regular? Whatever lol, you clearly are doing fine and dont need them.

 

[w00zie]

I put enough effort into my home game with one table. I don't even want to think about doing 24 players events.

I would have told him "do that one more time and you're out". Always give people a second chance, but never a third one.

 

[upNdown]

"sorry for taking up 1/17 of your seats"

That’s total disrespect.
Every ounce of respect you give him (and I’d say you’re still giving him quite a bit by allowing him to be on standby or to prepay) is generous but undeserved.

 

[RagingAZN]

I would just remove him from the group and text him personally when really needed.

People who don’t have the common courtesy to let you know should just get the boot. Especially since it has happened more than once!

 

[links_slayer]

It sounds like you have no problem getting a game going. I would probably only text him when you are in need of a body to fill a seat at the last minute.

 

[chippitydoodah]

And give him a broken chair like one with a leg shorter than the other 3.

 

[TKEUofM]

I normally get 24-28 players. I used to try to have perfectly balanced tables and have a waiting list. I hated turning people away and often had a last minute cancel which screwed things up.

So now I just take whoever wants to play and if someone cancels last minute oh well. I never turn anyone away anymore. And if we have two tables of 8 and two tables of 7 then so be it.

It will save you a ton of stress to not have a waiting list.

 

[detroitdad]

Boot him..... Wait, let me read the OP FIRST

 

[louBdub]

 

[dpeks13]

Yeah. Auto waiting list is the way to handle. We have a guy that confirms and I don’t count him as a confirmed until his ass is in the seat. He’s a whale so I haven’t booted him lol

 

[chippitydoodah]

Yeah. Auto waiting list is the way to handle. We have a guy that confirms and I don’t count him as a confirmed until his ass is in the seat. He’s a whale so I haven’t booted him lol

 

[Saoliver]

Ass clown list. It’s the only solution.

 

[chippitydoodah]

If he's not already the fat smelly guy that marks cards and bites his fingernails to the bone make sure he sits next to him

 

[Pony]

If he's a repeated no-show like you say in your OP.....then he's really not playing. If he's not playing, then he should be removed from your email/text list.

If this is casual, where there's tables based on the number showing up - no worries. But I think you mentioned a set number (2 tables?), and a waitlist? No offense, and it's been said before me - take a deposit to reserve a seat. WTF, $20 non-refundable shouldn't break anyone to reserve a seat. Gonna be a bit harsh with you, I think you're baby-ing this person. After about the second "screw you" with no notification, they'd be off my email list. I mean seriously - you already said they're not showing up, so there's absolutely no loss - other than your time that I've seen that you've spend texting this asshole trying to see if they'd show up.

 

[Mr Winberg]

I normally get 24-28 players. I used to try to have perfectly balanced tables and have a waiting list. I hated turning people away and often had a last minute cancel which screwed things up.

So now I just take whoever wants to play and if someone cancels last minute oh well. I never turn anyone away anymore. And if we have two tables of 8 and two tables of 7 then so be it.

It will save you a ton of stress to not have a waiting list.

I only have 3 tables and I have max 8 per table, so the issue is that it's max 24. If I have a full tourney of 24 and 2 on the waiting list and he no-shows, then someone has lost his/her chance at playing. That's the issue.
I have no issues with unbalanced tables. If we're 22 then we start at 8, 7, 7.

But I think you mentioned a set number (2 tables?), and a waitlist?

Correct, max 24 with a waitlist.

 

[Mr Winberg]

Thanks everyone who has responded so far!

 

[CraigT78]

I think your placement of him on the waitlist for a while is the right way to handle the situation. He only has a seat if there is an open seat at game time. this way you lose nothing - if he no-shows you didn't have that seat filled anyway.

If you fill up, sorry about your luck.

 

[BonScot]

My golf club has a rule that if you book in online to play in a competition and then don’t show, you are banned from entering the next two competitions.

It’s very effective and has stopped a lot of no-shows.

I’ve had quite a few people who kept either cancelling last minute or not even bothering to tell me they weren’t coming. I just stopped asking them along.

We now have a hardcore group of 6 and a couple of others who play when they can (they’re shift workers). We decided to start a new group with just those 8 people. Now we play more 6 or 7 max games and a load of limit mixed games.

 

[Mr Winberg]

Thanks for all responses. I want to make it clear that he is not as asshole. Maybe he's acting like one when it comes to invites, but apart from that he's a good guy and I enjoy his company.

My suspicion is that he has no experience in organizing events and doesn't understand the results of his behavior.

 

[BonScot]

Thanks for all responses. I want to make it clear that he is not as asshole. Maybe he's acting like one when it comes to invites, but apart from that he's a good guy and I enjoy his company.

My suspicion is that he has no experience in organizing events and doesn't understand the results of his behavior.

If that’s the case just say to him that he’s fucking up the night for everyone else and to sort it out.

Another thing to look for is a massive thumb print on his forehead

 

[LeLe]

When I am hosting a Cash game and someone tell me that he is TBC, I will actively look for someone to fill the slot and message him slot taken once all seat is filled up.

A maybe is a TBC for me so for me, you doing it right by putting him on reserves especially after a couple of no show

 

[Irish]

"sorry for taking up 1/17 of your seats"

FRO

 

[Highli99]

With demand higher than capacity the solution is super simple. Just invite people in the order you want them to attend. Create an A list, B list etc. there can be more factors than reliability here in making distinctions. A fun whale is getting invited every time even if they flake out now and then. A nitty curmudgeon might be on the B list even if they are super dependable. They key is to curate a fun, good game.

A list gets early invite and priority.

B list gets later invite if seats are available.

Ass Clown list only gets invited when you need butts in seats, which might only be periodically.

No announcements or communication about the above is needed imo. Just do what you want.

 

[LowerBama1714]

View attachment 1182538

Tell me you have a seat by 730am…put me in the queue. I never pull out.

 

[Taghkanic]

Hi PCF,

What are your thoughts of how I am handling this situation? Am I too harsh? Too soft? How would you handle it?

Background
I handle my tourney invites via Facebook events in my Facebook poker group. Those without Facebook are handled separately. For that reason, for each tourney I have a post in the group where I list

• No of seats
• No of seats spoken for (I specify the total and also how many that are spoken for outside the group, for clarity)
• No of availabe seats
• Queue (here I list the people in the queue, in order)

Needless to say, the queue is empty until all seats are spoken for.

However, one of my players has repeatedly claimed a seat only to no-show. One of these times I contacted him afterwards. He gave an excuse and ironically (my subjective interpretation) wrote "sorry for taking up 1/17 of your seats" (I only had 17 seats back then). I wanted to reply "don't apologize to me, apologize to Bob who was first in the queue but had to stay at home because of you", but instead I adopted the Swedish way and bit my tongue.

Other times he has no-showed but changed his answer in the event like an hour before the event (one time it was just 15 minutes!). The last hours before an event I'm busting my ass getting everything ready, it's very easy to miss last minutes changes. Every single time someone other than him has had to cancel the same day they have called! Not updated their status, not even texted, they have called!

My solution
So I had 16 out of 24 seats claimed, and then he signed up. So I listed 16 seats as claimed, 8 seats as available, and him as the single person in the queue. Today it has grown to 21 claimed, 3 free, and him in the queue. I see now that he has been made aware of this, and I'm expecting drama.

When he calls me about this I'll tell him that he only replied "maybe", hence the queue. He'll probably say like "no, my status is that I'm coming" to which I'll say that he's proved time and time again that "yes" means "maybe" when it comes from him. Fool me once etc, so I've finally recognized to interpret his yes's as maybies.

If he really wants to seat, he'll have to Venmo me the buy-in immediately without the possibility a refund, so if he no-shows, the money is in the pot.

Thoughts on my approach?

I like your approach. People like this are acting very selfishly. And failing to appreciate how much work goes into hosting.

P.S. In my hosting experience, for every 9 reservations there will be 1-2 people who cancel on the day of the game. For a one table cash game, I hope for 10 reservations. For a two-table tourney, 17+ reservations.

As long as the cancellation is more than 6 hours beforehand, and the cause is reasonable, and the person doesn’t do it regularly… I can live with that. Repeat or lame last-second cancellations go to the bottom of the invite list. No shows don’t get another invite.