Tourney writing this (hopefully) serves as my therapy / penance (1 Viewer)

[Bordizzle]

writing this (hopefully) serves as my therapy / penance for playing this hand about as poorly as one could play it

i expose my tilt-mode play for all the world to giggle at (please don't throw rocks and garbage at me - pointing and laughing will be sufficient)

preface: i'm already old MASSIVE TILT after this goofy old asian broad picked of my 2/3 pot sized river-bluff into a nice sized pot while saying "i think you got me beat" as she counted off ~85% of her chips and threw them in (i mean, how fuggin stupid are you, lady?!!!)

sigh

two hands later: i'm 2nd or 3rd to act pre-flop with K-Q off... typically, i limp with this hand in early position (or outright fold)... but i'm on massive tilt and in a hurry to get my stack up again

anyhoo... i open for 1100 (i have approx 14k... blinds are 150/300 w/ 25 ante)... action proceeds with fold, call, fold, raise to 2300, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, then to me... only 1200 more? okay... i throw it in... dealer corrects me: it's a raise to 3300.... well, i can kiss that 2300 good bye or call another 1000 (duh)

friggin moron next to act four-bet shoves (with absolutely zero fold equity) and the guy who made it 3300 five-bet shoves (he has me covered)

i'm so deep in tilt-mode that i call... but first i declare that "this is the worst call in poker history.... i'm probably board-locked... at best, i have 4% equity in the hand"

hahaa

i had buried myself into such a poopy-pants state of tilt that i didn't even care anymore

the three-bettor had K-K

the four-bettor actually ripped it in with A-Q (total idiot - at least i knew how dumb my play was)

i pretty much couldn't win unless the board came 9-10-J and held

sigh

i are a stoopit sometimes... at least i know it when i do stupid shit... most of the morons who play that tourney are < clueless (and where does that put me when i can't beat them?)

needless to say, K-K held up

fml

so there you have it... maybe writing this will be therapy enough that i don't do stupid crap like this anymore... maybe putting text-to-thread will get this ugly tilt-monkey off my back

laugh away, guys n girls... i deserve it... gimme my punishment :

 

[Ronoh]

preface: i'm already old MASSIVE TILT after this goofy old asian broad picked of my 2/3 pot sized river-bluff into a nice sized pot while saying "i think you got me beat" as she counted off ~85% of her chips and threw them in (i mean, how fuggin stupid are you, lady?!!!)

First, this tells us nothing. How stupid is she? I dunno, we know absolutely nothing about the hand. I'm pretty sure she didn't call off 85% of her chips with the board + Q high so I assume she had something. Is she stupid because she said she thought you had her beat? I say that a good bit myself but it certainly doesn't mean I always think they have me beat. If a 2/3 pot bet = almost all of her chips maybe you should have conceded the hand instead of bluffing at it... even a non-fuggin-stupid-lady can often talk themselves in to a call there.

i open for 1100 (i have approx 14k... blinds are 150/300 w/ 25 ante)... action proceeds with fold, call, fold, raise to 2300, fold, fold, fold, fold, fold, then to me... only 1200 more? okay... i throw it in... dealer corrects me: it's a raise to 3300.... well, i can kiss that 2300 good bye or call another 1000 (duh)

friggin moron next to act four-bet shoves (with absolutely zero fold equity) and the guy who made it 3300 five-bet shoves (he has me covered)

the three-bettor had K-K

the four-bettor actually ripped it in with A-Q (total idiot

Bit difficult without stack sizes, etc but I'm not seeing where the guy with AQ is an idiot for his shove here. He is apparently sitting on a shortstack if his shove won't possibly get anyone to fold (call it M of 10 or less and as described I am assuming more like M=6)... should have raised instead of call/shove after the three bet but at that point shoving is certainly the right play in my book.

at least i know it when i do stupid shit... most of the morons who play that tourney are < clueless (and where does that put me when i can't beat them?)

i'm so deep in tilt-mode that i call... but first i declare that "this is the worst call in poker history.... i'm probably board-locked... at best, i have 4% equity in the hand"

Dumbest part of how it all went down to me. I never understand what people are trying to show/prove when they say things like this at tables like this one is described as being. At a full table of ten players, four aren't listening, four have no idea what you're babbling about, the one who understands is laughing at you for a variety of reasons and the dealer is rolling his eyes because he hears the exact same thing every day... the vast majority of it coming from tables running the lowest dirt-cheap possible stakes in the room

 

[Bordizzle]

Yes, yes, yes, yes & yes... I'm a donkey

But that lady was an idiot... I stand firm on that

My fault for trying to bluff when an idiot was holding cards

Flogs self repeatedly

 

[BGinGA]

Until you stop writing with crayon, I'm ignoring anything you post.

 

[Bloody Marvelous]

Until you stop writing with crayon, I'm ignoring anything you post.

^^ This!

 

[Payback]

Until you stop writing with crayon, I'm ignoring anything you post.

It hurts my eyes...

 

[Pinball]

next time when you on tilt, I'd to play with you some high stakes

 

[Bordizzle]

what cushy lives you all must lead if a little thing like colored text gets under your skin

smh

 

[guinness]

Why do you give the hand history for KQ but not for the hand you actually got tilted by? You did mention this was a therapy post, so maybe you don't care for hand analysis.

When someone says "you probably have me beat" they ALWAYS mean "I think I have YOU beat, but I will try to save my table image by making this comment in case I'm wrong".

 

[Bordizzle]

okay... the hand that tilted me:

i had Qs-8s on the button... 100/200 blinds w/ 25 ante... small raise early, couple callers ahead of me, so i limp

flop is Ks, Jx, Xx... everyone checks around to me, i check, as well

turn puts a spade on the board (gives me 2nd nut flush draw - i do not have a straight draw with it)... small bet early, pretty much everyone calls, as do i

river is an off-suit 10... EVERYONE checks (at least four others still in the hand)... pot is between 10 - 11k... i bet 7200...

fold, fold, fold, old goofy broad "i think you got me beat" calls

me: "i guess that makes you a genius for calling when you think you're beat" as i muck my cards (don't want anyone seeing how i played my hand / what i bluffed with)

i could tell that SHE REALLY thought she was beat, but was just too stupid to fold her hand... one of those "check / call" players that never bets their own hand... i hadn't been at the table long, so i didn't know her game

from now on, when i sit in at a table, i'm gonna ask any old broads at the table a couple 6th-grade-level math problems.... if they can't answer them correctly, i won't bluff at them

but yeah, i'm a jackass to allow myself to go on tilt and i'm a donkey for calling off the way i did knowing i was prolly board-locked... i just didn't care at that point and wasn't enjoying playing... my shitty attitude comes from years of running cold / getting kicked in the nuts every single session... i just don't have the emotional / mental temperament to take downswings in stride anymore... that's why i play small these days so the swings don't mangle me

prolly should take extended time off, regroup, refocus and start over with the basics and learn to crawl, walk, run again... right now, i just can't win unless everything goes my way

waaa waaaa waaaaa!

 

[courage]

prolly should take extended time off, regroup, refocus and start over with the basics and learn to crawl, walk, run again... right now, i just can't win unless everything goes my way

• Good plan. Also, maybe don't bluff into 4 players on the river.

 

[Chippy McChiperson]

You sure it's run bad? I mean this is a very small sample size, but maybe it's play bad.

 

[Bordizzle]

not even referring to that session... i know how terribly i played that session

i'm referring to pretty much every session in 2006 & 2007 where i got brutalized by one, two and three outers multiple times each session... i played live three to five times / week back then - plus i played online... running that badly, that long really messed with my head

i was a winning player up until then... since then, i can't even win a warm cup of piss... all the wires in my head got knocked loose or totally shredded

 

[manamongkids]

so its been almost 10 years since you were a winning player?

 

[Bordizzle]

a consistent winning player... yeah, pretty much

don't get me wrong... i've made a few nice scores here or there... but if i'm honest with myself, when i take a bad beat or two (or something i perceive as a bad beat) the wheels fall off

i pretty much have to run clean to keep my shit together

#sadface

 

[Chippy McChiperson]

its almost impossible to run clean for an entire tournament, though. I too sometimes struggle with tilt issues after bad beats, but they do happen to everyone, and dealing with them is part of what makes you a better player. Lord knows I have to work on this part of my game lol. Think about it like this, if you get it in as a 75% favorite every time, you are a 56% favorite to win 2 in a row, 42% to win 3 in a row, 32% to win 4 in a row, etc. It would be more of a statistical anamoly to hold every hand in an entire tournament that you got it in good (assuming you get it in good a lot) than to "run clean." Maybe knowing that will help you out a little.

 

[Bordizzle]

oh, i know all those things... believe me... it's a matter of accessing the logical, reasonable, rational part of my brain when i feel tilt creeping in

and if you tilt like i tilt, you know that knowing these things and NOT taking it personally when you're in "poopy pants" mode are two different ball parks

i need to re-read "poker and the art of zen" and remember to factor in the following: everyone loses... everyone gets bad beats... in a large enough sample size, everyone goes thru extended periods where they get kicked in the nuts a lot more often than they should

i'm just waiting for my time to run hot for months on end... it's never happened... in fact, i can really only count on one hand the number of insane single-session heaters i've been on in my life

yep... it only rains on me!

hahaaa

 

[Steverino]

You need to take an open-minded, honest look at your play. If you can't, maybe you know someone who can. I used to crush party poker (anyone remember that?) in the early days, financing many trips to Vegas, and later on Pokertars, but then it was like you described - bad beat after bad beat. I finally took a step back and took a critical look at my play, spent a lot of time on 2+2, talked to some of my friends whose opinion I respect, read a lot, and found some leaks in my game. Since then my "bad beats" have gotten to be truly bad beats rather than poor play. It wasn't easy, and it was humbling for sure, but it was worth the journey. Poker is constantly evolving and your play has to as well - even in the same tourney as you move from table to table you have to change your strategies. Good luck.

 

[Bordizzle]

I've been around poker long enough and involved intensely enough to discern the difference between misplaying a hand and taking a bad beat

By no means am I claiming to be a world-beater on the felt... But I'm definitely above average - as long as I can keep my head screwed on straight... And I know immediately when I lose a hand as a result of bad play (not aggressive enough, too aggressive, chased a draw a little too far, bad read, miscalculated odds, miscounted a chip stack, etc)

I didn't get hit by a bad beat in either hand I wrote about... What I'm saying is my brain was fried after running super badly for a long, long time... And now, I tilt off as a reflex to the littlest thing

Call it "Felt Traumatic Stress Syndrome"

In the short term, I just need to get up and take a short walk before returning to the table when I get (what I perceive as) a bad beat... In the long term, I may legitimately need friggin therapy!


Hahaa

 

[Bordizzle]

PS thanks for all the comments and feedback!