Derail and WTF Merge Thread (45 Viewers)

[Highli99]

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I mean how many dildos can you fit into your body holes at the same time? These seem like reasonable dildo regulations to me.

 

[Omar65]

I mean how many dildos can you fit into your body holes at the same time? These seem like reasonable dildo regulations to me.

I'm not really into all that but just pointing out you're assuming one dildo/hole, right? Just sayin'..........

 

[Coyote]

View attachment 938639

I 've said exactly that to a girlfriend, once (about her feet, though)

View attachment 944567

Don't have the background to understand the joke. Please help.

 

[WedgeRock]

Don't have the background to understand the joke. Please help.

Dawn dish detergent is advertised as "tough on grease."

 

[Coyote]

Aah, thanks!

 

[Chris Manzoni]

We need to talk about common sense dildo reform people.

 

[Tonysquander]

I think I may be more scared of someone who owns 7+ dildos than I am of someone who’s walking around with a gun

 

[Coyote]

Dildos are not lethal.

 

[Rieguy]

Dildos are not lethal.

I take it you haven't seen The Boys....

Spoiler: video

 

[Tonysquander]

I was going to say, everything can be lethal. I was just kidding with that comment though @Coyote.

My safe word is “stop” and I’m still alive

 

[Coyote]

OK, here is a nice story.

Dad walks into home, puzzled to hear the sound of his shaving machine (he had no sons).
Accidentally catches his daughter masturbating with a vibrator (so, NOT his shaver) on the couch.

After recovering from the shock, the pood dad lectures the daughter about the evils of masturbation, especially with dildos, let alone electric motor vibrators, and strongly recommends her to find a good, loving husband.

The daughter discards her dad's advice as old-fashioned, and tells him that all men are bastards, so the only male in her life is going to be the vibrator.

On the following day, the daughter walks into the house, only to hear her vibrator's sound coming from the kitchen. There, she discovers her dad savouring some ice-cold tsipouro (transparent brandy like grappa), with some nice bread, cheese and ham, while the vibrator is in operation, on the table.

-Dad, are you nuts?
-Shouldn't I be having a drink with my son-in-law?

 

[Beakertwang]

We need to talk about common sense dildo reform people.

You can have my dildo when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!

 

[Poker Zombie]

You can have my dildo when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!

Fingers? Well, this will be easier to take than I thought.

 

[Coyote]

An American female friend (NOT girlfriend) of mine, living in Greece for many years now, and having had two Greek husbands, received, back in time, as a broken-hearted College student in Arizona, a dildo, as a consolation gift, from her mom in New York City.
She never used it and placed it, instead, in the fridge, together with beer bottles, to judge invitees by their reaction.

 

[Schmendr1ck]

I mean how many dildos can you fit into your body holes at the same time?

Clearly the gun is for when you run out of dildo holes but you still have dildos, right?

 

[Schmendr1ck]

You can have my dildo when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!

If you're using "pry" and "dildo" in the same sentence, you need more lube.

 

[WedgeRock]

Dildos are not lethal.

This one could be.

 

[Cliff]

2 birds, 1 stone?

 

[Old State]

 

[Saoliver]

 

[Coyote]

This one could be.

I have no account on youtube and cannot watch it, being possibly a minor

 

[WedgeRock]

I have no account on youtube and cannot watch it, being possibly a minor

It's the scene from Naked Gun where Ed pulls the starter on the motorized dildo in the sex shop.

 

[Beakertwang]

I hid this one behind a spoiler, just in case.

Spoiler: Maybe NSFW?

 

[Beakertwang]

 

[mattross1313]

@Gear , this accurate?

 

[MatB]

 

[Old State]

 

[HeWhoWouldPun]

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Still amazed this wasn't in Florida.

 

[WedgeRock]

 

[Schmendr1ck]

Still amazed this wasn't in Florida.

It's so common down here that it's just not newsworthy anymore.