Fugly Poker Table Thread (28 Viewers)

[mcguiles]

Okay, that's the THIRD time this table has been posted. We get it, it's fugly, everyone agrees!

I’m not going back into this thread to check what’s been posted

 

[FordPickup92]

View attachment 411655

I've got no words. Just no. But if it floats, I am playing poker in the pool

 

[Poker Zombie]

I’m not going back into this thread to check what’s been posted

You should read the whole thread at least one time. It's classic literature like Robert Louis Stevenson, Charles Dickens, or Monty Python. Once you see it, you never forget it.

 

[aaronroch]

Once you see it, you never forget it.

You say that as if it is a good thing...

 

[stonker]

These beauties are available in Wilton, NH

 

[Teach42]

View attachment 412545

These beauties are available in Wilton, NH

Does it come with the windmill attachment and putters or do you need to buy those separately?

 

[allforcharity]

You should read the whole thread at least one time. It's classic literature like Robert Louis Stevenson, Charles Dickens, or Monty Python. Once you see it, you never forget it.

I think this thread, in its entirety, should be REQUIRED READING for anybody wanting to buy or build a poker table. Really.

We steer people away from dice chips as a matter of national emergency. Why wouldn't we do the same for fugly tables?

 

[allforcharity]

Does it come with the windmill attachment and putters or do you need to buy those separately?

I thought they were two huge dominos.

 

[WedgeRock]

Remove the pool noodle rail and combine them into one table.

 

[FordPickup92]

What in the actual fuck.

 

[MegaTon44]

Just what I want my coffin to look like. Sprinkle some chips on there for good measure

 

[Poker Zombie]

I feel like he spent some real time on this. Very nice cuts, angles all correct, lights under the rail, speedcloth, even pretty standard table legs. Then he was about to router the sharp edges, stood back and said, "Uh... no."

 

[Himewad]

Think how heavy that thing is. Good lord.

 

[softchewy]

View attachment 412545

These beauties are available in Wilton, NH

 

[allforcharity]

Just what I want my coffin to look like. Sprinkle some chips on there for good measure

Sprinkle? You're not taking ALL of them with you? I would expect your tomb to look as if King Tut was a poker player.

 

[TheWoods]

- "Shows wear, but still continues"

"how's your Arms feeling over there Mike?"

 

[Poker Zombie]

...because who doesn't want a big piece of wood between their legs?

 

[WedgeRock]

Also, who doesn't want to stack chips on tile?

 

[allforcharity]

Didn't even grout.

 

[TheWoods]

Also, who doesn't want to stack chips on tile?

And hide their big chips

 

[asian bino]

Perfect Chipset for your Fugly table

 

[Poker Zombie]

I want to buy that and ship it to @AK Chip , so his chippes stay warm at night.

 

[Mangatang]

...because who doesn't want a big piece of wood between their legs?

Out-of-context thread worthy.

 

[One Eyed Dollar]

It was hard to decide which one to post a picture of...
https://fortcollins.craigslist.org/fuo/d/eaton-game-tables/7082408242.html

 

[Poker Zombie]

It was hard to decide which one to post a picture of...
https://fortcollins.craigslist.org/fuo/d/eaton-game-tables/7082408242.html

View attachment 414441

From that ad:
"Small game tables 2' x 4' handmade used for heads-up poker. These tables were used only five times and are in great shape. Black antique style table raises from table height to bar height. Full size table seats 8 comfortably 10 tightly, with custom solid oak bases and racetrack, velveteen playing surface padded arm rests. All other tables have padded arm rests and poker speed cloth playing surface."

My 2nd table has a velveteen surface. It's very nice, unless you want to pitch cards on it. So if you have both velveteen and speedcloth, why the #*@& would you use the speedcloth on the 2' table and the card immobilizing surface on the 8' table?

 

[Hot Nuts]

I would drape myself in velveteen if it were socially acceptable.

 

[Poker Zombie]

I only wear velveteen underwear.

 

[allforcharity]

I would drape myself in velveteen if it were socially acceptable.

You mean it's not? (Runs and hides)

 

[abby99]

I would drape myself in velveteen if it were socially acceptable.

You can still buy tie-dyed crushed velvet or velveteen bell bottoms that hearken back to the 70s. Don't get the ones with the bells sewn on, though. They just don't look authentic.

 

[Hot Nuts]