I think it all comes down to house rules but the most important for me is that the showdown is done quick. The pot should be awarded to the winning hand quickly and the next hand can begin.this is an old thread but honestly, a muck is a muck.
I am one of your wannabes. No seriuously if you win the pot at showdown you have to show all your holecards. Not one. All your holecards. And it doesnt matter if your oppenent already mucked. Just show your damn handif opponent mucks, then i do not have to show my hand at showdown since my opponent mucked and there are no more eligible cards/hands and i win by default.