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Official Poker Chip Set Rating Service (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Psypher1000
- Start date
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
Wow...Riversides. The stamping...the clean, shaped, linen inlays...the consistent, effective spot patterns...the mold...the manufacturer...the materials...the history. What's not to love?
Welllll...
Remember that scene in Weird Science when Anthony Michael Hall and his friend were designing the woman on the computer and kept inflating her breasts to ridiculous proportions? That scene has manifested itself in this chip set. Unfortunatley whoever built this set seems to have stopped watching right there and went & had himself a moment. Yes, some is good and more is better, but friend, in this case less is more, and anything more than two handfuls and a mouthful is probably a waste anyway. They just don't make bras big enough to support this set (although apparently they DO make poker tables with two buttcracks in them...but I digress).
This set is still highly playable and exceedingly great at half it's size - and if you need help with a set reduction procedure, let me know. Unfortunately the rating for this set is going to end up inversely proportionate to its size.
At half this size, it's a 38DD out of 10. In it's current form, the highest I can rate it is a 6.
slisk250
Straight Flush
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
If the designer of this set would have spent half the time it took to align all those damn spots into the set design, he might have come up with something nice and original. Instead, it comes out looking like Benny Binion mated with his horse. The contrast of the red against the blue base on those $5's is obnoxious, the black spots on the snappers came out skinnier than a starving Ethiopian, and lavendar fracs...LAVENDAR. That's the "taste's like chicken" flavor of poker chips.
And what in the sphincter of hell was he playing at with those barrels at the bottom? It's like a three year old's scribbling's on a coloring book sheet. "Look, mommy...I used all the colors!" Nice job, turbo. Sure, we'll hang it on the refrigerator until you leave the room. After that, it's likely to find the way to the rubbish pile.
The hundos aren't bad, though.
In some regards the design is close to being not terrible. Unfortunatley "not terrible" is a horrificaly low bar, and close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Aiming for the stars seems too ambitious for his next set. Aiming for the toilet seems more realistic, and would still be a step up.
2 horseshoes out of 10; consider letting someone else design next time. Strongly.
FortyMorty
3 of a Kind
Is this SUPPOSED to be funny? If so I don't get it.
rimmerryan
Flush
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
Alright, gonna hit the ol' pause button for tonight, me thinks. Feel free to continue posting; I promise I'll get to everyone's sets.
Why would it be funny? My mother is in the hospital. @Josh Kifer, help me out, here.
FortyMorty
3 of a Kind
Clearly I'm not nearly as clever as Psypher1000, I was making a joke. Pretending to to offended, I was going to tell him to "check his privilege" and so on. The last thing I wanted was for him to stop mercilessly ridiculing anyone with the audacity to post a photo of their pride and joy!
FortyMorty
3 of a Kind
Please don't stop! I realize it is almost 1:30 on the East Coast but come on. You are on a roll!
slisk250
Straight Flush
Chippy McChiperson
Straight Flush
meh, I give it a 5/7 (with rice)
Kidsthesedays
3 of a Kind
@Psypher1000 has a degree In Graphic Design and is one of the more respected chip knowledgebases we have here. We enjoy letting him review our chips and give us honest and reasonable feedback. I loved this process when he said my 5ks are great but then throw shit at me like an ape when he saw my 25 chip.
detroitdad
Royal Flush
He isn't wrong lol
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
This is like a four year old's first trip to Disneyland in a couple ways.
1. It costs roughly the same.
2. It starts off waiting in line, kind of excited but still under control. then, while still in line, it piddles in its pants from anticipation (perhaps that second juice box at 6:30am wasn't a good idea?), gets cleaned up, and returns to line. It finally gets into the park at the hundreds, has a churro and gets on Big Thunder Mountain where it reaches peak excitement. Then you start taking it out of the park at the $1k's with the mouse ears starting to fall of their head, and by the time the $5k's roll around you're slowly ripping your child's beating heart out as it reaches back towards the castle and screams, "COME BACK, MICKEY!". And then it passes out from exhaustion because where the $25k's should be, there's nothing.
I give it 8.66 out of 10 churros; good luck rebuilding the bankroll.
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
Speaking of Disney...The Lion King is widely regarded as one of Disney's best animated films ever. It's been adapted into a hugely successful Broadway Production, and even remade into a CGI catastro....err, "live action" version of its original, animated self. It's one of the most successful franchises in Disney history.
This set is the opposite of that.
The truth is that the animals featured here are the rejected characters from the Lion King. Ernie the Elephant was going to be the comic relief but was cast asside for Timon and Pumba. Zulu the Zebra read as a confused, mildly depressed, waxing-philosophical horse. The list goes on. People think the silhouette effect is cool, and I'll admit the effect is pulled off nicely, but in reality it was done to avoid copyright infringement, and also to avoid scaring children because some of the original illustrations were creepy AF (e.g., That bird on the $1 isn't really a bird, and that "beak" isn't really a beak. I'll let you figure it out.)
And what kind of safari doesn't feature at least one big cat? No cheetahs? No lions? Maybe an impala? Sure, they're no big cat, but at least they have some stabby horns. Nope, Mike decides its better to roll with Ingrid the Iguana. Because of course it is no its not.
Some people give an A for effort. I give a 3 for lack thereof, then a couple bonus points for some nice silhouette effects on the inlays and color matching to your animals.
5 safaris out of 10; be better than the cutting room floor.
My nearly complete mixed set.... Please...
You give a serious answer? You let me down, brother!
Me no understand work??! Happy chip! Chip good! Yayyyyyy
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
When I was a kid we didn't have much money to spare so sugar cereals like Lucky Charms were completely out of the question - more expensive, and largely void of nutrition. As a result they've come to be a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't buy them very often at all, but when I do I'm like a pihranna devouring its prey - it's gone quickly, and it's best to stay out of my way. So I was grocery shopping in Fry's (our local Krogers brand) the other day and found myself stopping in front of the cereal isle, staring at the generic brand bag of Lucky Charms. "Hmmm...twice the volume at half the cost? Who cares if it's the off brand and doesn't have a box...that just makes it easier to dip your hands into...right?" I ultimately passed, because what kind of self-respecting man with no kids and no recent divorce needs a whole freakin' bag-o-charms for himself?
I say this because, just below the generic off brands - and I am absolutley not making this up - there were bins of even off-er brand bags of those same cereals, and those bins had signs on them saying 50% off & that they were discontinued. They were intentionally placed near the floor hoping kids would see them and grab them, but they were so bad not even todlers with poorly developed taste buds wanted them.
I imagine those bags were full of these chips. It's like someone removed the gall stones from a sick rhinocerous, put them on a lathe, sliced them up, and called them poker chips.
I award you zero points, and may Jim Blanchard have mercy on your soul.
@Beakertwang yeah! And you have small hands!!!! So there!!!!!
OP
OP
Psypher1000
Straight Flush
I actually enjoy used casino sets because they're broken in and lack the harshness of fresh chips. I also enjoy a good Cali set. One of the reasons I love Cali sets is they kinda just do what they want with colors so you get a lot of creativity there. In this case, what California wanted to do was MDMA with the large, dilated inlays...or, in the case of the $5, it wanted to do a tree frog. I'm not quite sure what that base color is, but it resembles the excrement of a sick infant.
You could theoretically title this set "not quite". The fiver isn't quite green and isn't quite yellow. The $20 chip isn't quite purple, so the denom isn't quite $25. There isn't quite enough room in the recess for the inlay, and in the case of the $100, it looks like there isn't quite enough room on the inlay for the last 0 - it starts to get squished. So I guess that means it's not quite good.
6/10 paddlewheels; nobody uses a steamboat in California anymore.
Just gotta say, this was that first custom set I saw that sold me on the custom chip game. Adore it.
Now this is getting serious
gopherblue
Straight Flush
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