What's the dumbest way you hurt yourself? (1 Viewer)

[Kidsthesedays]

I sprained my ankle playing basketball yesterday, and it got me thinking about all the stupid times I've hurt myself.

When I was 17 I tackled a snowman during football practice, and that resulted in a labrum reconstruction. Still feel iffy about it sometimes 8 years later.

What's your story?

 

[RichMahogany]

Rolling over while sleeping. I pulled/twisted a muscle in my neck and couldn’t move it without muscle relaxers.

I was in my late teens at the time

 

[Kidsthesedays]

Rolling over while sleeping. I pulled/twisted a muscle in my neck and couldn’t move it without muscle relaxers.

I was in my late teens at the time

Necks are no joke. I hurt mine when I saw @inca911 ESPT set

 

[Beakertwang]

I cut my thumb open with a butter knife. You know those cans of frozen orange juice concentrate? The plastic strip tore, so I was trying to pry the lid off, and the knife slipped and went into the side of my thumb. Not even sure how it happened. It was deep, and since the knife was not super sharp, the cut was terribly painful. I thought I was going to pass out a couple time. My wife insisted that I needed to get stitches, but I didn't listen to her.

 

[Klobberer]

Gasoline and matches...stop, drop and roll is bullshit! Drop your drawers in the middle of the backyard works way better.

 

[SeanGecko]

I cut my thumb open with a butter knife. You know those cans of frozen orange juice concentrate? The plastic strip tore, so I was trying to pry the lid off, and the knife slipped and went into the side of my thumb. Not even sure how it happened. It was deep, and since the knife was not super sharp, the cut was terribly painful. I thought I was going to pass out a couple time. My wife insisted that I needed to get stitches, but I didn't listen to her.

"And that's how I got the name 9 fingered Joe!"

 

[MegaTon44]

A friend of mine was home from the military and had his ka-bar knife on him. We were at a party and I was fucked up, so I decided to flip it in the air and catch it. Well, the first few flips went fine, but the third damn near cut my fingertip off. The combination of deep cut and alcohol had me bleeding all night. Didn't slow me down though as I hooked up with 3 girls - my crowning achievement back in the partying days.

Still brag about it to my wife, but she doesn't share my enthusiasm.

 

[Joe Harris]

While getting into an SUV on the last day of vacation, I slammed my foot into the side of the door. Broke the 4th toe on my right foot, apparently called the 'ring toe'.

So yeah, my spatial reasoning skills are off the charts.

 

[12thMan]

Getting out of the back seat of a two door civic last winter I sprained my knee bad enough I was a wrap for snowboarding the rest of the winter. Didn’t slip, didn’t fall, just stood up at an angle I’ve done a million times working on cars and that was that. Couldn’t put any weight on it for about a week and it wasn’t until this spring that I had confidence in it again. So depressing, getting old sucks.

 

[Kidsthesedays]

Getting out of the back seat of a two door civic last winter I sprained my knee bad enough I was a wrap for snowboarding the rest of the winter. Didn’t slip, didn’t fall, just stood up at an angle I’ve done a million times working on cars and that was that. Couldn’t put any weight on it for about a week and it wasn’t until this spring that I had confidence in it again. So depressing, getting old sucks.

I'm 25 but my body is 40 so I feel you

 

[mike32]

I had a 1991 Ford Escort, my first new car. I was trying to get my card into an ATM and I didn’t pull up close enough. I leaned out the window and opened the door to get closer to the ATM. Opening the door caused to stupid electric automatic seat belt thing to move across the door and rake across my forehead in the process. I received a nice cut from the seat belt bracket across my already too large (hair loss) forehead!

 

[12thMan]

I'm 25 but my body is 40 so I feel you

I’m envious. I’m 40 and my body is 60.

Not really, I’m incredibly fortunate to be in such good health, but all the broken bones and “little” injuries from a life of contact sports, dirt biking, snowboarding, etc are starting to ache. Even though I don’t go half as hard as I used to I’ve got to do 100% more prep to get ready for the snow season.

25 is an incredible time brother, i wish I could have figured out real/whole foods and the whole motion is lotion thing when I was that age, I feel like I would be so far ahead of where I am now if I did.

 

[Beakertwang]

I had a 1991 Ford Escort, my first new car. I was trying to get my card into an ATM and I didn’t pull up close enough. I leaned out the window and opened the door to get closer to the ATM. Opening the door caused to stupid electric automatic seat belt thing to move across the door and rake across my forehead in the process. I received a nice cut from the seat belt bracket across my already too large (hair loss) forehead!

This made me laugh out loud! Any chance the bank sent the footage to Bob Sagat?

 

[Kidsthesedays]

I’m envious. I’m 40 and my body is 60.

Not really, I’m incredibly fortunate to be in such good health, but all the broken bones and “little” injuries from a life of contact sports, dirt biking, snowboarding, etc are starting to ache. Even though I don’t go half as hard as I used to I’ve got to do 100% more prep to get ready for the snow season.

25 is an incredible time brother, i wish I could have figured out real/whole foods and the whole motion is lotion thing when I was that age, I feel like I would be so far ahead of where I am now if I did.

When you say motion is lotion you mean just staying active? I'll take all the advice I can get. Was at the VA hospital this morning and that sight scares tf outta me.

 

[hdgeno]

Combination of drugs, alcohol, and stupidity led me to believe I could punch through a road closed sign. The sign didn’t break, but I destroyed the knuckle on my right hand pinkie finger. The finger was way out of whack too, but my buddy pulled it hard enough to go back in place. I almost blacked out there. Never went to a doctor until a week later when the swelling still hadn’t gone down. It was too late as it was already healing.

I was 19 then, 42 now, and that part of my hand always aches now when weather changes come. I’ve had other bad injuries, but none this stupid!

 

[binisha]

Was camping at a place we were playing laser tag all weekend. Saturday night a guy brought some frozen hamburger patties what I was splitting with a splatula with a serated side. Ended up splitting the first few off, then it slide through the next one easier than expected so sliced a nice gash about 3/4 of my fingertip. Since it was just a bunch of guys sitting around a fire drinking and too lazy to go to ER we just superglued it and then played 6 more hours of laser tag sunday while reapplying super glue every so often.

Bonus story:
Last year we did the same weekend and on Friday night (the big drinking night) one guy ended up with intense abdominal pain. We ended up taking him to the hospital (which was a real joy as we were camping in a field. The main way in was a road that they had locked the gate (we were staying on laser tag property so they would lock it so nobody could get in). There was a back route through the field and through a cutout of brush and through a couple hundred yards of small trail. Unfortunately it was dark and the ground wet so as we tried to find this opening we got the first car stuck when we turned too early. Second time we grabbed the guys truck and made it rhough). Get to the ER where the guy was basically told 'You're over 30 now which makes you too old to be drinking like this. Start acting like you're old and your stomach ache wont happen. Here are some meds for it and go home'

 

[mike32]

This made me laugh out loud! Any chance the bank sent the footage to Bob Sagat?

It is a long story but I also hit myself and another car with my own car even though I was not behind the wheel. It involved a stick shift in gear, an ignition engaged, a bad battery connection and beer. It was 2 am and all the lights came on in the house of the guy who owned the car my car t-boned with nobody behind the wheel and the hood propped up. I got a nice bruise on my thigh but was lucky I did not run myself over. I stood slack jawed and watched my old Ford EXP chug along by the starter motor in first gear. It went across a cul-de-sac and a lawn then broadsided a guys car. Luckily it was another crappy car and the guy laughed it off when I told him the true but crazy story “I hit your car but I wasn’t behind the wheel”!

 

[detroitdad]

I was 7 or 8. I ran through a glass door. A giant piece of glass stabbed me right above my nose, between my eyes. pretty damn lucky that I didn't blind myself.

 

[Coyote]

I entrusted most of my savings (inlcuding the savings bequeathed to me by my parents) to my country's Government Bonds.
I thought Banks go bankrupt before Governments do. I was wrong.
This could be only true if your nation is the world's Superpower and can print money at its whims.

 

[12thMan]

When you say motion is lotion you mean just staying active? I'll take all the advice I can get. Was at the VA hospital this morning and that sight scares tf outta me.

Very much so. I used to “think” (more like just an excuse for being lazy) that you really needed some chill time, don’t “use up” your body. And yeah, repetitive motions over and over are going to do damage but you HAVE to keep moving. Some sort of exercise on the regular, you HAVE to to feel good. I went through some depression that made just getting out of bed a struggle some days and my body “hurt” when I wasn’t moving.At the worst I felt a bike ride or hike or something ALWAYS made me feel better in one way or another.

And I know what you mean about the VA. As I’ve gotten older and seen healthy people get cancer and two of the strongest people I’ve EVER met in my life, two people from the GREATEST generation, my grandparents, finally starting to lose the battle with time it both frightens me and saddens me what we become with time. It is scary dude, and it makes me really appreciate this life I have. So damn precious.

 

[JScott]

I cut my thumb half off while cutting cheese for a sandwich.

And I tore my MCL in a kids bike skills park showing off for hot single moms. ... Last one was worth it.

 

[Quicksilver-75]

I tore my knee’s meniscus putting on a flip-flop that required surgery. Friggin crazy.

 

[bentax1978]

I cut my finger and drew blood on a salad crouton once.

 

[Kidsthesedays]

Very much so. I used to “think” (more like just an excuse for being lazy) that you really needed some chill time, don’t “use up” your body. And yeah, repetitive motions over and over are going to do damage but you HAVE to keep moving. Some sort of exercise on the regular, you HAVE to to feel good. I went through some depression that made just getting out of bed a struggle some days and my body “hurt” when I wasn’t moving.At the worst I felt a bike ride or hike or something ALWAYS made me feel better in one way or another.

And I know what you mean about the VA. As I’ve gotten older and seen healthy people get cancer and two of the strongest people I’ve EVER met in my life, two people from the GREATEST generation, my grandparents, finally starting to lose the battle with time it both frightens me and saddens me what we become with time. It is scary dude, and it makes me really appreciate this life I have. So damn precious.

Thanks for your insight. Your words come with perfect timing.

 

[allforcharity]

This just happened a few days ago.

Sunny day, ironing my shirts. Finished up, put the iron down on the board, unplugged it from the wall, then hit the cord retract button. Naturally, the cord whips up, heading straight for my face. Right before it strikes home, a beam of sunlight reflects off the prongs in a near blinding flash of white and colour. Hits me in the eye socket, hurt like a mother for two seconds.

Poetically, it was like Archangel Michael himself came down to smite me with the flaming sword. I was yelling "ow" for a good 10 seconds with nobody to hear me (thankfully).

 

[Kidsthesedays]

I cut my finger and drew blood on a salad crouton once.

You win

 

[12thMan]

I tore my knee’s meniscus putting on a flip-flop that required surgery. Friggin crazy.

As bummed as I was about my knee I was fortunate to not need surgery yet, but it’s probably coming. The meniscus is the same problem I have, there is a “flap” in it. F that flap. Flaps suck.

 

[FordPickup92]

I have 2 --
Dumb version one - walking I rolled my ankle and broke it, didn't know it had fractured until 2 weeks later

Dumb version 2 - I was hit by a car while drinking and walking down the side of the road.
Dont drink and walk (on the road)

 

[Josh Kifer]

Uh. In Dec of last year I did nothing... Literally nothing... And my L5 disc slipped into my spinal cord and pinned off the stem. Proceeded to kill the nerves in my right leg and required emergency spinal surgery. I was a few hours away from being paralyzed my entire life and needed to crap in a bag. Now I walk with a slight limp and fall over randomly from my crappy weak leg.

And this is all from just existing. Thanks lower back!

 

[Kidsthesedays]

I have 2 --
Dumb version one - walking I rolled my ankle and broke it, didn't know it had fractured until 2 weeks later

Dumb version 2 - I was hit by a car while drinking and walking down the side of the road.
Dont drink and walk (on the road)

Yeah I think cars are undefeated vs humans. Never seen a car in a hospital.