Hairy_Crocodile
3 of a Kind
I just laughed out loud like a jackass in public, that's fucking incredible, I love this thread
I don't know what could top this table. Even the worst tables of my dreams weren't this bad.When 1 table gets comments for 3 pages, it is clearly the best of show.
I've built 3 tables, all with outside-of-the-box thinking. I always thought they were borderline to being invited to the thread.I don't know what could top this table. Even the worst tables of my dreams weren't this bad.
Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.I still can't visualize this. I mean if the chair goes between the arms, are you having to lean sideways to see your cards on the putt putt mat? Someone designed this on drugs.
I need someone to photoshop in some pics of a chair, poker chips, a beer, pack of lung darts and an ashtray.
Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.
I dunno. Seller said it was heavy and looks to be made of cast aluminum. I was thinking some kind of playground equipment like a merry go round. Maybe larger seats or little dogs and ponies were mounted to the pieces extending out. That's the best I've been able to come up with. I think it would be too heavy to be made to float.It looks to me like something for a pool, like it was meant to be a floating table, but it was never finished, and someone converted it to a "poker table"
Seems like a good time to break out one of my ATF quotes.Ok, I still have loads of questions about this. But the one thing I'm pretty certain of is that no one DESIGNED THIS to be a poker table. I still can't put my finger on WHAT this was originally, but it was definitely something else before it was Frankensteined into this poker table.
Here's me trying to figure out what that has to do with Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.
There’s no question that the main frame of it was made industrially for some other purpose. Maybe some kind of mining operation. Probably not a consumer product that most people would be familiar with. That’s why it looks alien.I dunno. Seller said it was heavy and looks to be made of cast aluminum. I was thinking some kind of playground equipment like a merry go round. Maybe larger seats or little dogs and ponies were mounted to the pieces extending out. That's the best I've been able to come up with. I think it would be too heavy to be made to float.
I'm sorry... After the metal death trap we all saw, every other table now looks amazing to me. I no longer think a kitchen table is bad. This thread has ruined me.
Did they try to use paneling to make it look like they felted a Flintstones table or what?
Um... Did they CAULK the felt?
That's what I thought it looked like.Um... Did they CAULK the felt?
I guess that's one way to handle spilled beer.
i think I peed my pants. Laughing for 15 minutes. Pcf top thread for sure. And I agree with everyone else. Every other fugly table we’ve ever seen doesn’t seem bad at all anymore compared to this one. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of fugly poker tables.Me: Hi Miguel, this is a very intriguing custom table. I have some questions. Which parts are the beer holders, chip holders, cigarette holders (I smoke cigars, will it hold cigars?). Trying to visualize how it works. Is it portable? Thanks!
Miguel: The little arms are beer holders they sit down by your lap, cigarette holders are right in front, And the chip holders are on the opposite side of you the little square compartment is for ashtrays.
Me: That helps, but where do players sit? Do they have to have a separate chair?
Miguel: In between the little arms that stick down can you put chairs in between them.
Me: Gotcha. Do you know what the table height is?
Miguel: It’s average table height I’ve never measured it but I can.
Me: That's ok, average is fine. Hard to tell from the picture.
Miguel: I haven’t had a best offer so maybe the first offer will win it plus it’s very heavy to ship. Thank you for asking and have a great day.
I still can't visualize this. I mean if the chair goes between the arms, are you having to lean sideways to see your cards on the putt putt mat? Someone designed this on drugs.
I need someone to photoshop in some pics of a chair, poker chips, a beer, pack of lung darts and an ashtray.
Poker chips and/or cards might be unplayable for an actual poker table, as you want bets/cards to stand outWhy didn't he use poker chips!!!
Poker chips and/or cards might be unplayable for an actual poker table, as you want bets/cards to stand out
We won't know for sure unless someone tries...Poker chips and/or cards might be unplayable for an actual poker table, as you want bets/cards to stand out
I nominate @Josh Kifer to buy that table to find out. Do we have a second?We won't know for sure unless someone tries...
PCF GoFundMe for Kifer to force his game to use the worst table on earth....I nominate @Josh Kifer to buy that table to find out. Do we have a second?
My ears hurt just looking at itepoxy tops are so fetch. Just saw this locally with an epoxy top
View attachment 919082
“Hand Made Custom Poker Table. Real barbed wire and wood under an epoxy coating. 78” x 45”. $2000 obo”