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Fugly Poker Table Thread (31 Viewers)

Wes Anderson directs…

IMG_8240.jpeg
 
BonScot said:
View attachment 1144073
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This is the #1 thing that tilts me in table design.

I can never understand why anyone would want the felt raised above the chip-stacking areas.

Sliding a barrel or pushing a whole stack across the felt is one of the top pleasures of betting (second to actually winning).

I can’t fathom how this ever became a thing.

Maybe it goes back to those octagonal tables mass produced in the ’60s/’70s, with chip wells 2-3 full inches below the raised felt center. Makes you feel like you’re five years old sitting at the kids’ table at Thanksgiving, viewing your turkey and stuffing at eye level… I see these at yard sales in my area all the time. I even bought one for $10 once, before I knew better, and thought I could modify it without too much trouble. Seems like a someone in corporate design thought the raised area was more fancy or more businesslike, I guess.

It also sometimes crops up with racetrack tables that have wooden surrounds for the chips. I’ve played occasionally and social hall games with those tables, and absolutely hate it.
 
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Taghkanic said:
This is the #1 thing that tilts me in table design.

I can never understand why anyone would want the felt raised above the chip-stacking areas.

Sliding a barrel or pushing a whole stack across the felt is one of the top pleasures of betting (second to actually winning).

I can’t fathom how this ever became a thing.

Maybe it goes back to those octagonal tables mass produced in the ’60s/’70s, with chip wells 2-3 full inches below the raised felt center. I see these at yard sales in my area all the time. I even bought one for $10 once, before I knew better, and thought I could modify it without too much trouble. Seems like a someone in corporate design thought the raised area was more fancy or more businesslike, I guess.

It also sometimes crops up with racetrack tables that have wooden surrounds for the chips. I’ve played occasionally and social hall games with those tables, and absolutely hate it.
Click to expand...
But how do you really feel? :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:
 
Eriks said:
This thread never ceases to amaze. Even I, who can barely put together an Ikea piece of furniture, was able to build a decent looking standard oval table with a padded rail and speed cloth. Who the hell are these idiots?
Click to expand...

Never underestimate the human potential to screw up any project. Especially when it comes to design.
 
Bluegrass Poker said:
https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/707321290902361/?mibextid=6ojiHh

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While I appreciate a table made out of human skin much as the next guy, I still cant get over the WTF-ness of BonScot's find.
1686690060211.png


  • Tri-level table,
  • Wrinkled speed cloth
  • No rail
  • The cutting-board, hop-scotch "racetrack"
  • The half cards in laminate
  • The choice of the half-cards
  • The child-like painted numbers
  • The asymmetrical suits
  • The Diamond-Spade-Heart-Club-Moon(?)-Box "suits"
  • Not to mention the progression, because Moons should be higher than Spades, but lower than Boxes.
Stevie Wonder would have built a better table, and that includes whatever table-saw mishaps that would inevitably occur.
 
Poker Zombie said:
While I appreciate a table made out of human skin much as the next guy, I still cant get over the WTF-ness of BonScot's find.
View attachment 1150498

  • Tri-level table,
  • Wrinkled speed cloth
  • No rail
  • The cutting-board, hop-scotch "racetrack"
  • The half cards in laminate
  • The choice of the half-cards
  • The child-like painted numbers
  • The asymmetrical suits
  • The Diamond-Spade-Heart-Club-Moon(?)-Box "suits"
  • Not to mention the progression, because Moons should be higher than Spades, but lower than Boxes.
Stevie Wonder would have built a better table, and that includes whatever table-saw mishaps that would inevitably occur.
Click to expand...
I think it’s a masterpiece. It’s got everything you want in a fugly table (and some things you never knew you wanted).

I’m imagining the guy who built it having a small group of friends over for the grand unveiling. After a brief yet emotional speech he reveals it by swooshing a tablecloth right off it, then proudly standing back while proclaiming “TA-DAA!”

At £350 it’s a steal :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:

Oh and in case anyone is still undecided, here’s a bonus pic plus the sellers take on it…

IMG_8380.jpeg
IMG_8381.jpeg
 
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