Fugly Poker Table Thread (35 Viewers)

[KarateMaster72]

I learned German 30 years ago for a trip, and havent used it since, but I think I can still translate...

Hello,

I very much hate pokerchips for bar poker. (Cupholders are important to protect the beer)
Measurements are in metric, so nobody will know what it means.
Chips die when they hit hard tiles with
Zero padding.

"Hello,
I'm selling my homemade poker table for
Barstool. (with cup holder but without stool)
Length 178cm
Height 113cm
Width 90cm
You can also shorten the legs.
Lightly padded."

I think I like your translation better

 

[KarateMaster72]

So that's where all of those trucker mudflaps went...

I think the railing is covered in truck stop hooker skin

 

[KarateMaster72]

Looks fine to me...

A clicker!

 

[tabletalker7]

 

[SiouxperStack]

View attachment 1158805

Wow only $300

 

[chipinla]

 

[JP1984]

View attachment 1158824

How much?

 

[chipinla]

How much?

 

[allforcharity]

View attachment 1158805

Remember, kids, red octagon always means STOP!

 

[SiouxperStack]

View attachment 1158824

You can play cards and go white water rafting in that thing.

 

[Hot Nuts]

Poker Table​

$85
Poker table, needs som cleaning up.

Comes with anti-speed cloth.

 

[Hot Nuts]

Not a poker table, but what freaking games are played on this?

 

[Eriks]

Not a poker table, but what freaking games are played on this?


View attachment 1159963

For human roulette obv

 

[dpeks13]

View attachment 1159962

Poker Table​

$85
Poker table, needs som cleaning up.

Comes with anti-speed cloth.

They went above and beyond staining the particle board though

 

[bigdonkey]

Not a poker table, but what freaking games are played on this?


View attachment 1159963

Back in the day, at the county fair there was a table like this that would spin. The vendor dropped a mouse in the middle and you had to guess which hole it would go in. Rodent Roulette, basically.

 

[BGinGA]

View attachment 1159962

Poker Table​

$85
Poker table, needs som cleaning up.

Comes with anti-speed cloth.

I can smell the stink of that one from here.

 

[KarateMaster72]

View attachment 1159962

Poker Table​

$85
Poker table, needs som cleaning up.

Comes with anti-speed cloth.

Somebody needs to run a mower over that grass, oh wait! That's supposed to be felt?

 

[Hot Nuts]

Back in the day, at the county fair there was a table like this that would spin. The vendor dropped a mouse in the middle and you had to guess which hole it would go in. Rodent Roulette, basically.

Looks like there may be some mice in those jars. I do see a lung dart in one.

 

[chipinla]

 

[WedgeRock]

You know he tried to glue a custom logo on the felt, thinking it wouldn't affect pitching cards or dragging pots...

 

[Mrs Poker Zombie]

You know he tried to glue a custom logo on the felt, thinking it wouldn't affect pitching cards or dragging pots...

I was thinking he thought it was a whiteboard and discovered his error....

 

[suchj0sh]

I present, the coffin:

 

[BonScot]

I present, the coffin:

View attachment 1161214

Dracula was going to play but he didn’t like the stakes…

 

[KarateMaster72]

I present, the coffin:

View attachment 1161214

I bet people are dying to play on this table

 

[allforcharity]

I present, the coffin:

View attachment 1161214

There have been other, more convincing coffins.

At least you'd have an excuse for saying you're card-dead.

 

[Tonysquander]

 

[KarateMaster72]

View attachment 1162625

That's actually pretty smart. If they add a decent rail and put some foam under the felt / speed cloth seems like a cheap and functional table

 

[Poker Zombie]

That's actually pretty smart. If they add a decent rail and put some foam under the felt / speed cloth seems like a cheap and functional table

Isn't any* table a good start, if you add a decent rail and put some foam under the felt / speed cloth?

*Almost any table. This thread has taught me that there are a lot of tables that should have been aborted in the planning stages.

 

[KarateMaster72]

Isn't any* table a good start, if you add a decent rail and put some foam under the felt / speed cloth?

*Almost any table. This thread has taught me that there are a lot of tables that should have been aborted in the planning stages.

At least it isn't made out of body parts But now my wheels are turning I wonder what the playing surface area dimensions are. And I wonder what the cost would be to make it "decent"

 

[Poker Zombie]

At least it isn't made out of body parts But now my wheels are turning I wonder what the playing surface area dimensions are. And I wonder what the cost would be to make it "decent"

I was pretty close to that thinking when I was building tables when I realised that a good (not great, but good) table is...

• A lightly padded surface that allows cards to glide. The surface should be level from rail to rail.
• A rail. Padded and clean is best. Unpadded is acceptable, dirty is not.
• Legs that don't get in the way.

I've made a very good table utilizing 2 used Ikea tables. Take the legs, scrap the rest. It's just a matter of realising that a 1/2" piece of plywood and legs is a table, if you add a decent rail and add some foam and felt / speed cloth.