And that's fine, you see this particular "hobby" differently than most because of your family's past. To 99% of those who play this is a complete non-issue, the money they win or lose is insignificant in the grand scheme of things and playing isn't viewed any differently than going to a movie, skydiving, building a model airplane or any other hobby one might shovel money in to.
It's such a weird dynamic.
From my personal experiences, I don't want it to be about the money, because if it's about the money, and you NEED to win, then you have an issue w/ gamboling (and to me, that's not fun), and that has cost my family dearly. That said, I don't judge. I have friends I know are gombol-holics, but they're functioning, and can afford it when they lose. And it's their lives, not for me to pass judgment.
When it's about the money, you stress too much over wins/losses (especially if those losses take money away from your family or risk ruin). Then it no longer becomes fun.
Have I stressed over losing streaks, sure... But it never affects my family's finances, just my BR.
The weird part is that I do track the money, I track my play, and I know that if I wasn't cash + I would play much less. So I know the money aspect, I use BR management strategies (because my poker money and family money are 100% separate). And part of the fun (aside from the social aspect) is the challenge and improving my game/skill. I know that your win/loss rate is a barometer of your abilities.
Now I get the hobby aspect... My major life hobby has been triathlon. If I told you how much I've spent on triathlon... Wow (I'd be kinda embarrassed). I'll just say this, between my wife and I (not counting kid's bikes), we have 8 bikes in our garage (some costing close to that of a cheaper new car). Ya, I never made a dime competing in triathlons (major Triathlon donk I suppose). But a hobby I was happy to spend money to participate in.
As for poker, my earlier comments about folks who are not cash + were absolutely not intended to offend (nor be judgmental). I must be on one extraordinarily long lucky streak... Here's what I mean, I've played a number of times with links and would classify his game as more cerebral and crafty than mine. I would not hesitate to say he's a better player than me, and find it surprising to hear him say he's a losing player. I feel the same for many of the PCF folks I've played with at meetups. I'd consider myself an average player, and go to meetups expecting to learn by playing with better players than me.
