Quicksilver-75
4 of a Kind
Who was Moby Dick's father?
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Poppa Boner!
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Poppa Boner!
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Silly jokes (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter liftapint
- Start date
Chicken Rob
Full House
did you hear about the whale that tried to suck on a submarine?
he got a mouth full of seamen
What should you do if you're in a fight with a group of circus performers?
Go for the juggler.
A new restaurant has been opened on the moon, and the reviews are in... the food is great, but there's no atmosphere.
Chicken Rob
Full House
I texted this joke to a friend today in the middle of the work day. Worked perfectly and ended up posted to Facebook by her. I'm officially a fan. Best knock knock joke since interrupting cow.
slisk250
Straight Flush
This dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Hey, is this stool taken?"
Two whales are swimming along when the male spots a boat. He says to his partner if she'd like to sneak under and use their blow holes to tip the boat.
She agrees and everyone is thrown over board.
The male then suggest they eat the sailors.
The women replies "I agreed to the blow job but there's no way I'm swallowing seamen"
Chippy McChiperson
Straight Flush
Why do Hipsters burn their lips?
They drink their coffee before it's cool.
slisk250
Straight Flush
deleted due to incompetence.
Last edited:
bivey
Full House
A pious young man decides to become a monk. He enters the temple where the head monk greets him. "So you have decided to become a monk? To do so, you must take a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak only two words every ten years." The young man agrees and begins his monkhood. After ten years of silence pass, the he'd monk approaches the younger monk and says, "It has been 10 years. Do you have anything to say?"
"Food stinks." The head monk walks away.
Ten years later the head monk again approaches the now middle age monk. He repeats his offer, "It has been 10 years. Do you have anything to say?"
"Hard Bed," says the monk. The head monk quietly walks away.
Another ten long years pass and the monk, now in his fifties, quietly waits for the head monk to approach him. The old, wise head monk slowly makes his way to the man and once gain utters, "It has been 10 years. Do you have anything to say?"
"I quit"
"Good," says the old monk, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
"Food stinks." The head monk walks away.
Ten years later the head monk again approaches the now middle age monk. He repeats his offer, "It has been 10 years. Do you have anything to say?"
"Hard Bed," says the monk. The head monk quietly walks away.
Another ten long years pass and the monk, now in his fifties, quietly waits for the head monk to approach him. The old, wise head monk slowly makes his way to the man and once gain utters, "It has been 10 years. Do you have anything to say?"
"I quit"
"Good," says the old monk, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
Anthony Martino
Royal Flush
You Guys Hear The Story About The Broken Pencil?
Nevermind, It's Pointless
slisk250
Straight Flush
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a lake?
What do you call the same guy pulled behind a boat?
...same guy hanging on a wall...
...now he is sitting in a hole
...now he is outside your door...
Bob
What do you call the same guy pulled behind a boat?
Skip
...same guy hanging on a wall...
Art
...now he is sitting in a hole
Phil
...now he is outside your door...
Matt
slisk250
Straight Flush
What do you call a girl with one leg?
What about a Chinese girl with one leg?
Ilene
What about a Chinese girl with one leg?
Irene
slisk250
Straight Flush
What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?
Sparky
I had the same ones but couldn't post them. Since you went there I will add the final one.
A girl who burned one leg?
Charlene
...in an Irish fireplace?
Pete
...two of them above a window?
Kurt 'n Rod
...in a pile of leaves in the fall?
Russell
a girl with 1 leg
eilene
she works at ihop
she listens to hip hop..
she said "can we kick it?"
how many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
its some obscure number..you wouldn't know
its some obscure number..you wouldn't know
uh oh... light bulb jokes are a rabbit hole! Danger, Will Robinson.
slisk250
Straight Flush
Here is a softball
What do you call a mute donkey?
What do you call a mute donkey?
a Dumbass
slisk250
Straight Flush
How come all blonde jokes are one liners?
That's all the brunettes can remember.
slisk250
Straight Flush
What is the difference between Helmuth and a dog?
The dog eventually stops whining.
Wils
Flush
What do you call an agnosiac with a seagull on his head?
Doug
Anthony Martino
Royal Flush
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
Wave
I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
The worst teacher I ever has was cross-eyed. He couldn't control his pupils.
The sign outside the rehab center reads "Keep off the grass"
When the cannibal showed up late for dinner all he got was the cold shoulder.
Why is it that your feet smell and your nose runs?
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
The worst teacher I ever has was cross-eyed. He couldn't control his pupils.
The sign outside the rehab center reads "Keep off the grass"
When the cannibal showed up late for dinner all he got was the cold shoulder.
Why is it that your feet smell and your nose runs?
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Chicken Rob
Full House
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/stevenwrightjokes.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/stevenwrightjokes.html
We should dolphinitley scale back on the fish puns!
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