• This site contains affiliate links. If you choose to make a purchase after clicking a link, Poker Chip Forum may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!

Things That Are Bullsh*t (6 Viewers)

Having to put spikes on your shoes in order not to DIE outside...

20221230_130817.jpg
 
I would have made a terrible settler.

Me: "What's this?"

Elder Settler: "We call it snow. It's like rain, but if you stand out in it you will freeze and die. If you step on it you might slip and die. It will also kill all of the edible plant life. It lasts for months and occurs in the northern regions."

Me: "Right. Which way is south?"
 
Poker Zombie said:
I would have made a terrible settler.

Me: "What's this?"

Elder Settler: "We call it snow. It's like rain, but if you stand out in it you will freeze and die. If you step on it you might slip and die. It will also kill all of the edible plant life. It lasts for months and occurs in the northern regions."

Me: "Right. Which way is south?"
Click to expand...
Sounds like your settler skills are solid…
 
Poker Zombie said:
I would have made a terrible settler.

Me: "What's this?"

Elder Settler: "We call it snow. It's like rain, but if you stand out in it you will freeze and die. If you step on it you might slip and die. It will also kill all of the edible plant life. It lasts for months and occurs in the northern regions."

Me: "Right. Which way is south?"
Click to expand...
It’s hungry in the plaines. Those deer and elk are up here in the mountains!
 
BonScot said:
If someone fancied their person they spent way more
Click to expand...
This is one of the best Euro-English words and we Americans suck for not using it. Typically we would just say “like,” which is ambiguous and boring. We might say loves or crushes on or lusts or wants and none of them are very good. But fancies? That’s a beautiful word and absolutely not bullshit.
 
upNdown said:
That’s a beautiful word
Click to expand...
Honestly it’s not… well not the way we say it. You get tormented with that word from when you’re a wee 5 year old guy and you get caught looking at a girl and still to this day.

Person 1 - I hear you fancy [insert name]

Person 2 - Did ye aye? F*** you ya c***
 
BonScot said:
I stoped Christmas gifts at my place (or the £20 secret Santa as we called it).

For anyone who hasn’t been involved in a Secret Santa here’s what happens. Everyone puts their name on a bit of paper. All the bits of paper go into a bag or a box and each person draws a name out. You’re then that persons Secret Santa and you have to spend a preordained amount of money on that person (in my case £20). I stopped it for the following reasons:

People moaned about their present being shite.

Non-drinkers got alcohol. Then wanted to go to HR about it.

If someone fancied their person they spent way more than £20 then went in a huff when the present they received was clearly worth £10 or less.

Anyone who got deodorant / shower gel gift sets thought we were telling them they had a hygiene problem.

One particular year the number of dildos / butt plugs given resulted in an HR crisis.

Every year I received £20 worth of socks.
Click to expand...
Secret Santa’s are the gift-giving equivalent of the Office Potluck….
 
cpac54 said:
Secret Santa’s are the gift-giving equivalent of the Office Potluck….
Click to expand...
We had a secret Santa at my old office where it was 100% gag gifts and it was amazing (granted, smaller office, 40 or so people).

Nobody was under pressure to participate but everyone watched. My favorite gift receipt was a pack of Yo MTV Raps cards. My favorite gift that I watched someone else give was a senior engineer that literally dumped his junk desk drawer of 9 years into a bag and plopped it under the tree. People we’re trying to avoid that bag like it had ebola in it.
 
slisk250 said:
Actually we all would be better off with a Buffalo industry in place of cattle…but Buffalo don’t play cowboy. They do whatever they want. It’s way better than beef.
Click to expand...

Agreed. I've got ground buffalo from a local butcher shop near me for burgers for July 4th for the past couple of years. Awesomeness.
 
BonScot said:
Honestly it’s not… well not the way we say it. You get tormented with that word from when you’re a wee 5 year old guy and you get caught looking at a girl and still to this day.

Person 1 - I hear you fancy [insert name]

Person 2 - Did ye aye? F*** you ya c***
Click to expand...
I think Scotland is the only place I can be called a c*** and consider it a compliment.
 
slisk250 said:
I think Scotland is the only place I can be called a c*** and consider it a compliment.
Click to expand...

Where I grew up it was never a compliment.

Was always on a level of 1-10 on how big of a c&#t you were.

Step on someones toe by accident? Ahh you c&nt! Level 1

Someone pulls into your parking spot you were waiting for? You f$@cking c$nt ! Level 6

Margaret Thatcher ? Level 10
 
MatB said:
Where I grew up it was never a compliment.

Was always on a level of 1-10 on how big of a c&#t you were.

Step on someones toe by accident? Ahh you c&nt! Level 1

Someone pulls into your parking spot you were waiting for? You f$@cking c$nt ! Level 6

Margaret Thatcher ? Level 10
Click to expand...
It’s different here.

Checking on people who have been in a car crash - is every c*** alright?

Meeting your friends on the pub - alright c***s

A guy you trust - he’s a stand up c***

A guy you think is a bit dodgy - he’s a bit of a c***

A guy you definitely don’t trust - he’s a complete c***

This place is busy - wall to wall c***s

This place is quiet - Nae c*** here

It’s our version of how the Smurfs use the word smurf.
 
Do you want to to know what's bullshit? When I'm obsessed with chips and start expanding my paulsons while my inlaws don't like using denoms when we play holdem.

"1 chip is 1 chip, let's buy in for $40 and everyone gets 40 chips, doesn't matter what it says, 1 chip is 1 chip".

We had a two table tourney break out, biggest game I've ever hosted, and because they refuse to use math, I watched them use my friends cheap chinas and mixed everything. Dirty attacks as far as the eye can see. I refuse to felt my paulsons this way. So for the most part I just wait for my brothers and cousins to be available because they know how to count. Playing with dice chips at my house because of my inlaws is the biggest pile of bullshit. >:(
 
wickedwonka121 said:
Do you want to to know what's bullshit? When I'm obsessed with chips and start expanding my paulsons while my inlaws don't like using denoms when we play holdem.

"1 chip is 1 chip, let's buy in for $40 and everyone gets 40 chips, doesn't matter what it says, 1 chip is 1 chip".

We had a two table tourney break out, biggest game I've ever hosted, and because they refuse to use math, I watched them use my friends cheap chinas and mixed everything. Dirty attacks as far as the eye can see. I refuse to felt my paulsons this way. So for the most part I just wait for my brothers and cousins to be available because they know how to count. Playing with dice chips at my house because of my inlaws is the biggest pile of bullshit. :mad:
Click to expand...
get new inlaws?
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account and join our community. It's easy!

Register

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Back
Top Bottom