I’ve seen it in Rec sports too.
I’ve started umpiring baseball (9u-16u). I’ve seen really good teams/coaches/parents; and sadly some really bad.
It really starts with the coach/coaches. A good coach sets all expectations and professionalism from the kids to the parents and won’t tolerate any BS.
This. I was flabbergasted when I walked over to the coaches box to quietly let my guy know his parents were talking to my players on the court. "I can't tell them what to say". Ummm.......what?
I always defer to parents in what style they prefer and how we talk to their kids. If I have a talented kid, I make sure to chat with mom/dad and see if this is more just a fun self confidence boost for them, or if we're here to drop the hammer and get them to the next level. But every parent damn sure knows that they're job is to cheer positively for their kid and team, and it's suggested but not required to cheer for everyone playing. I have 0 problem having one of my parents removed or asked to not attend if they can't handle themselves.
I would never defend terrible sports parents. But the fact that they system breeds them should come as no surprise to anybody.
I’m going to spare myself the whole rant, but club sports and travel teams are a full blown industry designed to extract a lot of money from parents’ pockets.
I don't think they realize how much they hinder their kids growth either. Always sad to watch parents berate their kids on the way to the car after the game. "Why didn't you do this or that better!?" - and even worse is the parents don't understand the sport to even know what was done correct or incorrectly.
We once had a kid who was pretty good - an average ball player on a travel team so pretty talented. Get him in a cage and he would *rake*. Team drills and such, not so bad. Game time or live scrimmage practices, he just couldn't put it together. Practice Jordan.
After awhile, we start to notice how often he defers to or glances at dad. Ah, it's dad. When we get kid alone, he's awesome. When dads, nearby, he's garbage. We chat with dad, ask him to tone it down, long story short he doesn't and the ultimatum - either you leave or you have to drop from team. Kid stays.
Kid blossoms and is doing great! Cue next weekend or two, we notice kid is a little flustered, taking awhile to read signs, doesn't seem to be picking up on them. Dad decided to show up, is apparently out hiding behind the fence in center field, and is sending kid signs what to do at at bats. Bananas.