Fugly Poker Table Thread (26 Viewers)

[EastCoastCali]

I have so many questions...

https://artemest.com/en-ch/products/unootto-8-player-black-poker-table

Yes, that's 29,280 Euros (or roughly $32,000 USD)

View attachment 1407839

The glass railing on your $32,000 poker table a bit uncomfortable?

Not to fear, you can upgrade to real leather armrests for just a nominal upcharge!

View attachment 1407840

My favorite part about these kinda tables is they have clearly never played poker before lol. And a chip rail…reeeally

 

[drdr]

I have so many questions...

https://artemest.com/en-ch/products/unootto-8-player-black-poker-table

Yes, that's 29,280 Euros (or roughly $32,000 USD)

View attachment 1407839

The glass railing on your $32,000 poker table a bit uncomfortable?

Not to fear, you can upgrade to real leather armrests for just a nominal upcharge!

View attachment 1407840

No cupholders.

 

[Poker Zombie]

I have so many questions...

https://artemest.com/en-ch/products/unootto-8-player-black-poker-table

Yes, that's 29,280 Euros (or roughly $32,000 USD)

View attachment 1407839

The glass railing on your $32,000 poker table a bit uncomfortable?

Not to fear, you can upgrade to real leather armrests for just a nominal upcharge!

View attachment 1407840

Only if I can also get the completely unreadable cards shown.

I want the guy in shorts, that will bump his thigh on that sharp, glass edge, to fill the chip trays blood troughs with his arterial bleed, and curse me with his last, dying breath about how stupid the cards were - not that I spent $32,000 on a table and $25 on chips.

 

[allforcharity]

That's not fugly, it's beautiful. And useless. Just like most celebrity culture.

 

[cpac54]

Only if I can also get the completely unreadable cards shown.

I want the guy in shorts, that will bump his thigh on that sharp, glass edge, to fill the chip trays blood troughs with his arterial bleed, and curse me with his last, dying breath about how stupid the cards were - not that I spent $32,000 on a table and $25 on chips.

I'll have you know the matching chips are for "aficionados" only and most certainly did not cost only $25...

 

[cpac54]

No cupholders.

Probably for the best. Do you really want to risk one of your Degens spilling their beer on your $32,000 Alcantara leather table?

 

[BGinGA]

I'll have you know the matching chips are for "aficionados" only and most certainly did not cost only $25...

View attachment 1408037

Ooooh, includes dice too!!

 

[LotsOfChips]

Are the chip trays (faux) marble, or is the surface peeling away...?

 

[cpac54]

Are the chip trays (faux) marble, or is the surface peeling away...?

View attachment 1408211

Apparently the built in chip holders are available in either real italian marble or plain ol' wood

https://www.impatia.com/unootto-card-table/

 

[Poker Zombie]

Apparently the built in chip holders are available in either real italian marble or plain ol' wood

https://www.impatia.com/unootto-card-table/

As people click on the impatia link driving web traffic, do you think they are getting excited at the prospect of a possible sale, or are they thinking "shit, we're being mocked on Facebook/Reddit/PCF again".

 

[NotRealNameNoSir]

As people click on the impatia link driving web traffic, do you think they are getting excited at the prospect of a possible sale, or are they thinking "shit, we're being mocked on Facebook/Reddit/PCF again".

"The poors are just pining for our products again. Let them eat hotdogs."

 

[Poker Zombie]

"The poors are just pining for our products again. Let them eat hotdogs."

If they were thinking "let them eat hotdogs", they would have a sleek, modern designed Hotdog roller. Its octagonal glass frame and Alcantara® cooking surface combine elegance and functionality, while chrome-finished metal legs add a touch of brilliance. This exceptional piece turns every meal into a stylish and refined experience, showcasing the finest in Italian craftsmanship.

Has 8 condiment troughs for all your favorite toppings.

 

[cpac54]

If they were thinking "let them eat hotdogs", they would have a sleek, modern designed Hotdog roller. Its octagonal glass frame and Alcantara® cooking surface combine elegance and functionality, while chrome-finished metal legs add a touch of brilliance. This exceptional piece turns every meal into a stylish and refined experience, showcasing the finest in Italian craftsmanship.

Has 8 condiment troughs for all your favorite toppings.

You sold me. Where do I send my credit card info to?

 

[Nymor]

I think my players have been lying to me when they say how comfortable my wood, foam and suede rail is . I now suspect what they really want is a glass one with "sharp corners"

My Desygn cards can go in the bin as well - what I really need are some black nano-indexed cards that no one can read. Aficionadoland here I come!

(The whole thing is clearly a front for drug smuggling into Switzerland )

 

[acezag]

$32000 for a Jetsons' themed, marble-laden 50's dining table with glass arm-rests? Where do I sign up?