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Fugly Poker Table Thread (45 Viewers)

cpac54 said:
I have so many questions...

https://artemest.com/en-ch/products/unootto-8-player-black-poker-table

Yes, that's 29,280 Euros (or roughly $32,000 USD)

View attachment 1407839

The glass railing on your $32,000 poker table a bit uncomfortable?

Not to fear, you can upgrade to real leather armrests for just a nominal upcharge! :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:

View attachment 1407840
Click to expand...
My favorite part about these kinda tables is they have clearly never played poker before lol. And a chip rail…reeeally
 
cpac54 said:
I have so many questions...

https://artemest.com/en-ch/products/unootto-8-player-black-poker-table

Yes, that's 29,280 Euros (or roughly $32,000 USD)

View attachment 1407839

The glass railing on your $32,000 poker table a bit uncomfortable?

Not to fear, you can upgrade to real leather armrests for just a nominal upcharge! :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:

View attachment 1407840
Click to expand...
Only if I can also get the completely unreadable cards shown.

I want the guy in shorts, that will bump his thigh on that sharp, glass edge, to fill the chip trays blood troughs with his arterial bleed, and curse me with his last, dying breath about how stupid the cards were - not that I spent $32,000 on a table and $25 on chips.
 
Poker Zombie said:
Only if I can also get the completely unreadable cards shown.

I want the guy in shorts, that will bump his thigh on that sharp, glass edge, to fill the chip trays blood troughs with his arterial bleed, and curse me with his last, dying breath about how stupid the cards were - not that I spent $32,000 on a table and $25 on chips.
Click to expand...
I'll have you know the matching chips are for "aficionados" only and most certainly did not cost only $25... :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:

Screenshot 2024-10-23 at 09.22.56.png
 
cpac54 said:
Apparently the built in chip holders are available in either real italian marble or plain ol' wood :ROFL: :ROFLMAO:

https://www.impatia.com/unootto-card-table/
Click to expand...
As people click on the impatia link driving web traffic, do you think they are getting excited at the prospect of a possible sale, or are they thinking "shit, we're being mocked on Facebook/Reddit/PCF again".
 
Poker Zombie said:
As people click on the impatia link driving web traffic, do you think they are getting excited at the prospect of a possible sale, or are they thinking "shit, we're being mocked on Facebook/Reddit/PCF again".
Click to expand...
"The poors are just pining for our products again. Let them eat hotdogs."
 
NotRealNameNoSir said:
"The poors are just pining for our products again. Let them eat hotdogs."
Click to expand...
If they were thinking "let them eat hotdogs", they would have a sleek, modern designed Hotdog roller. Its octagonal glass frame and Alcantara® cooking surface combine elegance and functionality, while chrome-finished metal legs add a touch of brilliance. This exceptional piece turns every meal into a stylish and refined experience, showcasing the finest in Italian craftsmanship.

Has 8 condiment troughs for all your favorite toppings.
 
Poker Zombie said:
If they were thinking "let them eat hotdogs", they would have a sleek, modern designed Hotdog roller. Its octagonal glass frame and Alcantara® cooking surface combine elegance and functionality, while chrome-finished metal legs add a touch of brilliance. This exceptional piece turns every meal into a stylish and refined experience, showcasing the finest in Italian craftsmanship.

Has 8 condiment troughs for all your favorite toppings.
Click to expand...
You sold me. Where do I send my credit card info to?
 
I think my players have been lying to me when they say how comfortable my wood, foam and suede rail is :cautious: . I now suspect what they really want is a glass one with "sharp corners":confused

My Desygn cards can go in the bin as well - what I really need are some black nano-indexed cards that no one can read. Aficionadoland here I come!

(The whole thing is clearly a front for drug smuggling into Switzerland :x)
 
$32000 for a Jetsons' themed, marble-laden 50's dining table with glass arm-rests? Where do I sign up?
 

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