Silly jokes (16 Viewers)

[4SUMERZ]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?





Follow the fresh prints.

 

[EmptyPocs]

What’s the difference between an Owl, a Fish, and a Piano?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!

Baahahaha.

and the owl?
(maybe the real punch line is coming...it never did, did it?)

 

[Coyote]

-"Doctor, I 'm being ignored".
-"Next!"

 

[Nine_high]

What does The Rock do when he has to pee?

Spoiler

He Dwaynes his Johnson

 

[BonScot]

- Doctor I think I’ve got Tom Jones syndrome.

- It’s not unusual.

 

[Anthony Martino]

 

[Beakertwang]

Well, it turns out my autobiography is not selling very well.

Story of my life.

 

[Beakertwang]

What do you call it when someone doesn’t want Jamaicans moving into their neighborhood?

Spoiler

Rastanearianism

 

[Mr Winberg]

So I write an autobiography, but I haven't sold a single copy.

The story of my life.

 

[BonScot]

So I write an autobiography, but I haven't sold a single copy.

The story of my life.

You should have read @Beakertwang ’s autobiography (2 posts up)

 

[Beakertwang]

You should have read @Beakertwang ’s autobiography (2 posts up)

@Mr Winberg and I may have watched the same show.

 

[Mr Winberg]

You should have read @Beakertwang ’s autobiography (2 posts up)

Sh#t!!

@Mr Winberg and I may have watched the same show.

Actually, a friend sent me it. Maybe he watched it?

 

[Beakertwang]

Sh#t!!


Actually, a friend sent me it. Maybe he watched it?

Possibly. I saw it on Last One Laughing Ireland. A bunch of comedians in a room all day, trying to be the last one to laugh. They’ve got versions from several different countries. It’s pretty great.

 

[chippitydoodah]

What do you call a duck on drugs?

Spoiler

a quackhead

 

[Beakertwang]

A lady in my neighborhood keeps begging me to take her hunting for mushrooms.

She’s really attractive, but I only date women with morels.

 

[casinochipper22]

I saw a chicken in the gym the other day. My trainer said "oh it's fine. He just works on his pecks"

 

[Anthony Martino]

USA USA USA!

 

[Mr Winberg]

 

[Mr Winberg]

I literally just thought of this one. It's horrible, but here we go:

- "The casino's webpage says that you have to wait 11 minutes and 30 seconds before you get a seat at the poker table...?"

- "Yeah, so...?"

- "But why 11.5?"

Spoiler: Drumroll

- "Because 11.5 is the official casino wait!"

 

[Poker Zombie]

I literally just thought of this one. It's horrible, but here we go:

- "The casino's webpage says that you have to wait 11 minutes and 30 seconds before you get a seat at the poker table...?"

- "Yeah, so...?"

- "But why 11.5?"

Spoiler: Drumroll

- "Because 11.5 is the official casino wait!"

I literally laughed out loud for a good 30 seconds

 

[Anthony Martino]

 

[Saoliver]

Have you all heard about the new corduroy pillows?


They're making headlines.

 

[Klobberer]

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but I don't know how you get them in there.

 

[matthewb]

What color does a rock turn when you throw it in the lake?

Bloop.

 

[Klobberer]

Have you ever smelled moth balls? How'd you get their little legs apart?

 

[krafticus]

A guy takes his girlfriend to her first football game. They get great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it" she replied. "especially the tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents"

Dumfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the Quarterback!!, Get the Quarterback !!' I'm like, hello, it's only 25 cents !!!!"

 

[HeWhoWouldPun]

Which vegetable is not allowed on a cruise ship (or other sea going vessel)?

Spoiler: It's a "Dad joke"

Leeks

 

[chippitydoodah]

Why was the sand wet?

Spoiler

Because the sea weed

 

[chippitydoodah]

@Josh Kifer what do you call pickled bread?

Spoiler

Dill Dough

 

[BonScot]