bergs
Royal Flush
All your missing is a rubber band, you could be Jeremiah Albano, manager of the Tussling Midgets Amish wrestling team.
State of the Current Union/Chip Buying Advice (55 Viewers)
- Thread starter BarrieJ3
- Start date
You know. Before meeting you I had never met a fat monk. I thought monks were able to control themselves. Was that a halloween costume? Friar Bergs? Was that why you were wearing Tivas and a dress?
Listen. We went 12-3 and won the state championship.
Squatch is live and well up here in the Idaho Woods. Finally we can get you a functional date that does not end with you crying in a police station demanding more Ding Dongs as they remove "evidence" from your fingernails.....
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This was all in good jest until you started disparaging the reputation of a delectable treat enjoyed by obese people the world over. Then it became personal for me.
I could start losing weight tomorrow. Nothing is going to help you with repeatedly stammering out sentences with monosyllabic words thanks to your Idaho education that effectively became a 4-H camp after 2nd grade. This is what happens when, as a child, you can’t spell CAT if someone spotted you both consonants, but you became intimate with a wheat thresher at age 6.
bergs
Royal Flush
Live look in on Josh reading this: (Josh gesticulates wildly and speaks incoherently with the only discernible word being a repeated reference to “Maaaahhm”)
bergs
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I know, but was it really fair when you coached them and interrupted their matches to start throwing around their 7 year old opponents like bales of hay?
FYP
Oh Jesus. Your Nurse doesn't know you are typing so much. I'll ring her.
Can you start growing hair tomorrow? Asking for a friend.....
We call that the Airplane Spin then I finish them in the walls of Jericho.
1....2....3, and now I'm state champ. I'm still waiting on my title belt. I'm calling out Hacksaw Jim Duggan.....
bergs
Royal Flush
^^ thinks pro wrestling is real
^^ can intimately describe the properties of different silage types
^^ had a 3 year on again, off again relationship with a lawnmower
^^ considers every subterranean vegetable sacred
^^ can intimately describe the properties of different silage types
^^ had a 3 year on again, off again relationship with a lawnmower
^^ considers every subterranean vegetable sacred
You wanna date Squatch and your gonna give me grief?
God I can't wait to see you on America's most Wanted for stealing strangers used socks in Arizona.....
bergs
Royal Flush
(starts dialing rotary phone, gives up after the third number because he didn’t think things went that high)
(Grew up having one-sides conversations with rocks and cows and doesn’t understand a single thing about basic human anatomy)
bergs
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(Calls it “squatch” because he believes he’s on friendly terms with a mythical creature)
(Couldn’t find Arizona on a U.S. map if you paid him).
This thread
(Says the guy you keeps saying I live in Iowa)
bergs
Royal Flush
Honestly, what’s the fucking difference?
I almost feel like I'm sitting at the table with you two after a couple pitchers of margaritas.
This is sober while he's hiding from his Nurse, I'd hate to see what we dish out to each other while drunk and sitting at a table.
I'm taking action on this matchup at the next meetup.
Personally, my money is on you two finding a room and discovering your true feelings for each other.
We're going to get Married and start a Apple Butter farm.....
(And Bulldog Rescue)
bergs
Royal Flush
^ thinks butter comes from apples, knows literally nothing about fruit or vegetables unless they grow beneath the ground.
You’re a tad tall for it, but one wonders if you’re part Dwarven.
Maybe that’s it….Josh Kifer is just a boring name for a non-player character.
DM: “You walk into the pub. A Dwarven Josh Kifer greets you with a pewter pint full of mead”.
Player 1: “I stab the Joshkifer with my vorpal sword”
Player 2: “I cast Kill Dumb 1 Hit Die Creature”
Player 3: “I stuff what meager dreams and hopes he has left into my Bag of Holding”
Player 4: “I sneak around back and search for the tractor he drove to get here”
(DM commits suicide with an 8 sided dye though the eye)
You’re a tad tall for it, but one wonders if you’re part Dwarven.
Maybe that’s it….Josh Kifer is just a boring name for a non-player character.
DM: “You walk into the pub. A Dwarven Josh Kifer greets you with a pewter pint full of mead”.
Player 1: “I stab the Joshkifer with my vorpal sword”
Player 2: “I cast Kill Dumb 1 Hit Die Creature”
Player 3: “I stuff what meager dreams and hopes he has left into my Bag of Holding”
Player 4: “I sneak around back and search for the tractor he drove to get here”
(DM commits suicide with an 8 sided dye though the eye)
bergs
Royal Flush
I can’t afford a relationship right now with an unkempt, poorly trained, 3 legged Rottweiler with bad breath, but thank you for your interest.
bergs
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Did you win money before we showed up, or did the 2 margarita pitchers beat you again?
bergs
Royal Flush
I think that already happened in Dallas. We played poker together and felt jealously and resentment, and I felt heartfelt pity for him. Every time he stood up and looked outdoors and mumbled “storms coming in, gotta get the corn seed laid” it was just sad.
Dude. Roleplay costs extra. PP me 40 more bucks and I'll be your huckleberry
Dude, don't use your play name for me with the boys around....
bergs
Royal Flush
A paladin does not have conversations with single hit die creature.
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Royal Flush
Chip Paladin is actually not a horrible screen name.
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