As long as the rules are clear neither of these are angles. As others said above, house rules are house rules etc. There's no place in poker for an assumption people should be honest about their game plan, the goal is to misrepresent it.
I'd just approach it from a policy POV for home games. I want clarity and I want banter; this type of between-action-chat is what the game should be all about.
Here's my ruling:
- out of turn action is binding if the action ($ bet size to play) doesn't change
- the conditional part of the statement is not a poker action, it's just hot air
Now we have a clear corollary that conditional statements can only be binding on checks, and we never run into a tricky ruling situation as far as I can see.
IP: "(If you check) I bet $n" - binding after a check, not after a bet
IP or OOP: "(If you bet) I call" - villain bets changing the action, out of turn statement not binding, if villain checks, call is not valid, so not binding.
I was talking about games with standard rules, not ones where childish behavior is encouraged.