Is saying "nice hand", etc, in an all in situation when behind unsportsmanlike? (1 Viewer)

[upNdown]

I guess "needling" may be the wrong word here. Let's call it "impolite without knowing the outcome" perhaps.

I totally hear you. I feel it. But what if instead of doing the reverse jinx, he just started screaming for the card he needed. Totally annoying, but not crossing any lines. Or if his tournament life was on the line and he stood up and put on his jacket and backpack. Another way of doing the reverse jinx. Totally fair, totally annoying.

I definitely hear you. It would be nice if he just kept his big mouth shut. But he was fine.

 

[Beakertwang]

If I'm playing against a good buddy, I'd probably say "Nice hand. You know I'm going to suck out, right?"

And I just thought about this from the other perspective. If I'm a huge favorite against a huge buddy, I'd probably say "suck it, loser! But you're probably going to suck out."

 

[Jimulacrum]

Losing will always make everything that was said feel a little less nice. Doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong.

Banter is part of what makes poker a social game.

Spoiler

Even if banter is sometimes me calling out loud for and getting it.

 

[Jimulacrum]

… aggrieved party with the aces did approach me after that game privately and expressed his disdain for the needles. Something I may need to keep an eye on the next few weeks to months...

Unless by "needling" you mean truly persistent harassment that would warrant intervention regardless of the loss, I'm not sure this is something that I'd want to see regulated in any game.

People crack jokes and give each other a hard time. It's part of the game. Someone else's sandy vagina over a bad beat changes nothing.

 

[davislane]

just being a sensitive baby

 

[BarrieJ3]

It's funny, given the online persona I wouldn't have thought we'd be on extreme opposite ends, but I don't see it.

I've personally never meant negativity when saying good hand, I mean at worst I'll be exhaling while I say it and shaking my head when I truly was caught off guard in the hand and completely misread the situation.

I also don't take anything personal that's said regarding gameplay at the table. I think if there was a reg that truly, honestly *meant* to needle folks and make them feel uncomfortable/upset/poopy, do they really belong at the game?

All that being said, I truly don't get the "mean girls" aspect of poker. People talking to host after games, the 40 different channels of communication, etc. If you bug me at the table, I'm going to say hey you're bugging me at the table, chill. If I'm bugging you at the table, "Barrie chill" with eyebrows raised will do wonders.

I'm not here to gatekeep, poker how you poker. But if the rules, demeanor, and etiquette of your home game match that of a professional golf match, I'll likely be a one and done (best for the both of us ).

edit: I would take everyone saying pretty much this same thing with a grain of salt. So much depends on delivery and who it's coming from. Like I hope the games I attend and players know me well enough that 99% of the time if I'm being a dick it's with love. Given how even-keeled you are online of all places, I'd have to guess this dude is a straight jackwagon.

I'll also add that this particular player likes to needle others at times in non all in situations

 

[JMC9389]

Unless by "needling" you mean truly persistent harassment that would warrant intervention regardless of the loss, I'm not sure this is something that I'd want to see regulated in any game.

People crack jokes and give each other a hard time. It's part of the game. Someone else's sandy vagina over a bad beat changes nothing.

I agree with you. I more-or-less told him to lighten up and that shit happens, and he's been a close friend of over 20 years. I'm probably best to follow my own advice in this instance, but in thinking about it, I am starting to notice a pattern with this villain. He needles and tries to get other players off his game more than anyone else at the table. I'll show a nice bluff to get a rise if I three bet light and got a fold out of someone I know is trying to chip bully, but I don't actively try to reverse jinx or bring up hands from 4 months ago like this guy does. As @CantSpellPoker said, it's just poor form in my book. Not enough to disinvite this guy from the game, but something I'm going to need to watch and stamp out and nip in the bud quickly if it escalates.

Besides, it's going to make it that much sweeter when I come back from ten points down on this guy the next half of this league season and retain my league title right from under his nose, as he is currently points leader.

It's funny, given the online persona I wouldn't have thought we'd be on extreme opposite ends, but I don't see it.

I've personally never meant negativity when saying good hand, I mean at worst I'll be exhaling while I say it and shaking my head when I truly was caught off guard in the hand and completely misread the situation.

I also don't take anything personal that's said regarding gameplay at the table. I think if there was a reg that truly, honestly *meant* to needle folks and make them feel uncomfortable/upset/poopy, do they really belong at the game?

All that being said, I truly don't get the "mean girls" aspect of poker. People talking to host after games, the 40 different channels of communication, etc. If you bug me at the table, I'm going to say hey you're bugging me at the table, chill. If I'm bugging you at the table, "Barrie chill" with eyebrows raised will do wonders.

I'm not here to gatekeep, poker how you poker. But if the rules, demeanor, and etiquette of your home game match that of a professional golf match, I'll likely be a one and done (best for the both of us ).

edit: I would take everyone saying pretty much this same thing with a grain of salt. So much depends on delivery and who it's coming from. Like I hope the games I attend and players know me well enough that 99% of the time if I'm being a dick it's with love. Given how even-keeled you are online of all places, I'd have to guess this dude is a straight jackwagon.

It 100% is in the delivery and in the context of the situation. If it's you or Craig, for example, I laugh it off and say GG. I know a lot of this is nuanced and it's one of those things that you needed to be there to get a sense of, but it did seem to me the villain in this hand was doing it to get a reaction out of me in the event that he did suck out.

Perhaps "needling" this the wrong term. I edited the OP to change it more to an "unsportsmanlike" thing to do.

 

[grantc54]

Perhaps "needling" this the wrong term. I edited the OP to change it more to an "unsportsmanlike" thing to do.

I think it is just premature. My standard response would be "haha, let's run it out first, anything can happen in poker".

I always assume the villian will bink on the flop, turn or river, and it honestly feels like I'm rarely disappointed.

Now when someone says "nice hand" after they've won the hand... argh. Usually its a newbie who doesn't realize what they've said. I'll usually steam silently for a few seconds and then get over it. BUT ALSO if they do it to me or another player then it's open season. It's "nice hand" everytime I beat them in a hand for the rest of the game.... I guess that makes me petty.

 

[Chris Manzoni]

Used to bother me a lot when I was starting out in tournaments. These days it doesn’t even register. Water off a ducks back for sure.

 

[Highli99]

In friendly home games I think needles and slow rolls are what make it so much fun. The more creative the better! And I can take it as well as I give.

In games with strangers or whales I am super polite and don’t do that stuff, except to people being rude to the whales.

 

[merkong]

Don’t play tourneys. Play cash games and rebuy.

Problem solved.

 

[Machine]

I would just be sure to thank them. It was a nice hand, thanks for trying to give me your money, I really appreciate it.

Offer some advice, you know you don’t have to get it in bad, that way you’re not in a position where you have to suck out, but I know you’re going to win this, you got this.

 

[TheRealTeddyKGB]

Sounds like you're still stuck on this one. You took 3rd right? Probably got lucky to get there? Poker sucks sometimes but I think people have to learn how to be better winners AND losers. If saying "good luck" or "nice hand" is somehow unsportsmanlike then I don't know what to tell you that you will like.

 

[merkong]

Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with what the suck out said. They could have said nothing, shook your hand, wished you good luck, said I’m sucking out on you, stood up and put their jacket on, or jumped across the table and planted a big wet one in you. It doesn’t change how the cards were coming out.

Now, I’d they were a dick before the hand ends or after sucking out, internally I’d be steamed. I don’t go on tilt, never have. Yeah, I get disappointed and a little steamed on the inside but if things like this got to me I’d be in trouble.

 

[SixSpeedFury]

You didn't bring your fishing pole? You knew we're going to the river!

 

[LeLe]

This is more like a flip rather than a suck out, you are supposed to lose 4-5 time every 10 time

So I will not even be bothered by his comment and forget about it 5 sec after the hand,

Well, it's a different case if the V riverred a 2 outer when I am a 80 / 20 favorited preflop

 

[RainmanTrail]

No, but it's a lot more fun to say "nice hand" in an all in situation when you're ahead.

 

[Jimulacrum]

I also don't take anything personal that's said regarding gameplay at the table. I think if there was a reg that truly, honestly *meant* to needle folks and make them feel uncomfortable/upset/poopy, do they really belong at the game?

Once I'm comfortable in a group, I give people ridiculous nicknames, crack jokes about everything, and generally make a boisterous fool of myself. It's the one form of social event where I feel free to act like this.

I understand that some people have thinner skin than others. If I sense someone is getting really uncomfortable with my antics, I'll dial it back, at least in that person's direction. I feel I've been pretty good about this over the years. The whole point is to be fun, not make people want to leave.

Sometimes the problem is the guy who takes needling too far. Sometimes it's that someone's skin is too thin and he needs to lighten up.

The details I've read here lead me to believe this is a case of thin-skinned players more than a case of excessive needling. I don't see anything in here more egregious than saying "Nice hand" before all the cards are out and pestering someone about a past bad beat.

Does anyone say anything to this guy in the moment or just wait until he's not around to whisper about him?

 

[Mike mac]

i think maybe you are PMS'ing

 

[grebe]

Eh not really, I guess I'm just easily irritated. Popular opinion or not, in an all in situation whether I'm ahead or behind, I STFU until all the cards are dealt.

Wow. Life of the party, huh? It's you, not him.

 

[BGinGA]

Sensitive baby imo. Losing relative coin flips (58/41 in this case) is pretty common, and certainly no reason to get upset.

 

[JMC9389]

Copy all. I have nothing else to add to the conversation. Going to take some anger management classes before next game. I need to be in better control at the table and in everyday life as well.

 

[BGinGA]

I dint think its a needle and I consider myself a needling expert .


on another note...

One of the very few things that tilts me is when your heads up and villain sucks out or it was a close flip and another player NOT in the hand says.. 'nice hand' to the winner.

FUCK THAT. makes you like like a dumb dumb because obviously it wasn't a nice hand and they should have lost. Obviously.

When you hear me say NH to someone its because they played it well. Got their money in good.


Yyyayyayrggg TILTED

Noted.

 

[Ahner]

This is an absolute nothing burger. I don't even care if he flopped a king and said "you got this" afterwards. Honestly I wouldn't even call this a suck out. What is that preflop, close to 60 40? Hardly a long shot. To me a suck out is being way behind.

 

[12thMan]

I think you're probably a good dude OP, but I would say "Nice hand" to you walking in the door if I knew it would tilt you.

 

[CantSpellPoker]

I think you're probably a good dude OP, but I would say "Nice hand" to you walking in the door if I knew it would tilt you.

There's a 99.7% chance I say "Nice hand" or "You got it" to @JMC9389 the next time he even calls one of my pre-flop raises, before the flop is dealt out.

 

[12thMan]

There's a 99.7% chance I say "Nice hand" or "You got it" to @JMC9389 the next time he even calls one of my pre-flop raises, before the flop is dealt out.

I’ve got one certain buddy that that’s kind of what we do to each other. I’ve sent him money for football bets at halftime. Lol it infuriated him.

 

[Terrys394]

Per the title.

I ran into this situation last nigh when I was all in for my tournament life. I shove all in and villain calls, I turn over A2 and him K 10. He's saying "nice hand", "you got it", etc as the flop and turn are being dealt, and then he binks an out on the river to send me packing. As this is among friends, I was maybe upset for 5 seconds, then moved on with the rest of the night. I think that villain was perhaps a bit too excited to get the double up, but a part of me wanted to say something to the degree of "be careful who you do this to, not everyone is going to be gracious about getting sucked out on like this" but decide to just keep my mouth shut. Still, it stung a little, and I do think that this kind of thing can be construed as a needle from the wrong person. Am I off here or just being a sensitive baby?

Would love to hear what the populace here has to say...

I agree with you it is a needle. Why say that on a 55/45 type hand? It's ridiculous. I was in a tournament a few weeks ago. A fellow dealer went all in and I called with Kings. We turned them over preflop he had AA. I said nice hand at this point, before the flop, and he took offense saying you really shouldn't say that before the cards are dealt. (He won). I feel if someone has you crushed it's ok but in your situation as a very slight favorite, it's impolite.

 

[Marius L]

Per the title.

I ran into this situation last nigh when I was all in for my tournament life. I shove all in and villain calls, I turn over A2 and him K 10. He's saying "nice hand", "you got it", etc as the flop and turn are being dealt, and then he binks an out on the river to send me packing. As this is among friends, I was maybe upset for 5 seconds, then moved on with the rest of the night. I think that villain was perhaps a bit too excited to get the double up, but a part of me wanted to say something to the degree of "be careful who you do this to, not everyone is going to be gracious about getting sucked out on like this" but decide to just keep my mouth shut. Still, it stung a little, and I do think that this kind of thing can be construed as a needle from the wrong person. Am I off here or just being a sensitive baby?

Would love to hear what the populace here has to say...

I dont see how its bad ethiquette or being a needle, but it does make very little sense to say "you got it" and "nice hand" in a spot where you guys are pretty much 50/50. Its not like he really got it in bad or is far behind, so it just makes no sense.

I say you are a bit seinsitive this time. IThis is essentially losing a coin flip. It happens all the time in poker. It's not a bad suck out, and what he said is not bad form (just silly, lol, since again it makes zero sense in a 55/45 spot)

 

[JustinInMN]

I ran into this situation last nigh when I was all in for my tournament life. I shove all in and villain calls, I turn over A2 and him K 10. He's saying "nice hand", "you got it", etc as the flop and turn are being dealt, and then he binks an out on the river to send me packing. As this is among friends, I was maybe upset for 5 seconds, then moved on with the rest of the night.

If you got it in good, it's a sign of respect among players, never a needle. If you turned over like J7 against against AK and he's saying that, he's needling you.